Genie Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 It was one of the things that failed in my marriage and the fact she turned lesbian :winkold: I understand it has been a tough road with this lady but it seems like the current 'setback' is due to her trying to get a career off the ground and do something for herself. I'd give it a bit more time but of course, let her know how you feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 8, 2012 Moderator Share Posted August 8, 2012 Well I've given my sensible advice. Now just DHUTWU already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 It sounds like she knows how he feels. I wouldn't recommend reminding her frequently because it'll just make her more upset. I imagine that she herself is pretty cut up about the situation but she doesn't really see that she has much choice. I'd try and cut her a little slack, if she's as fantastic as Ad says she is then she will definitely appreciate it all the more and will want to show that appreciation more. Very few relationships are ever perfect. Life has a habit of getting in the way. Sometimes you have to sacrifice a little now to get the gains in the future. She sounds like she's sacrificing a lot and unfortunately for now, you will have to sacrifice a bit of your time with her too. She sounds like she's been through a lot, she deserves a nice chap like you Ad to make a difficult situation a little bit easier. Like I said, she'll appreciate it fora long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted August 8, 2012 Author Share Posted August 8, 2012 Sorry Ad, I wasn't having a go and I'm sure you realise all this stuff. Sometimes you just want to hear somebody else tell you what you already know for confirmation, I do anyway. I understand how you feel too though. If you didn't like her as much as you did then you wouldn't be feeling so bad about not seeing her as much at the moment. Depending on how long-term you think this relationship could be, you have to decide whether or not this is what you want for the next couple of years, but like I said, finding someone to care about so much isn't easy. Keep yourself busy and try venting about it to other people. Having the same argument with her and making her feel bad isn't fair on her and it'll make you feel like shit too. I know you weren't pal. It was good advice. Your advice is the reason I feel a bit of a dick having a go at her about it. I would love the relationship to be long term as she is amazing but I cannot build it on the foundations of hardly seeing her and just sitting in her flat all the time when I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted August 8, 2012 Author Share Posted August 8, 2012 It was one of the things that failed in my marriage and the fact she turned lesbian :winkold: I understand it has been a tough road with this lady but it seems like the current 'setback' is due to her trying to get a career off the ground and do something for herself. I'd give it a bit more time but of course, let her know how you feel. Thats why I said "one of the things" :winkold: yup the other was her hunger for clunge!!! The nursing thing has been blown out of proportions. It is one of the things, but by no means the only thing. As I said there are many spinning plates! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Have you tried spinning a few of them for her? a problem shared and all that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Yeah, what Eames said, can you help with any of the bankruptcy admin for example? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted August 8, 2012 Author Share Posted August 8, 2012 Yeah, what Eames said, can you help with any of the bankruptcy admin for example? Offered to help her go through her forms with her. But she doesn't want me to. Her family are a nightmare. I have been taking the little one out for walks while she cracks on with study and stuff. Not sure what more I can do? I love helping her with that but I just thing we need to go out as just us a bit more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shillzz Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 OK I'm going to be the one who plays 'bastard'. You only get one life buddy, and you're not going to be young for much longer. I think you need to decide if you're happy spending the foreseeable future doing what you're doing now. That's not to say I think you should change your relationship status necessarily, but you need to make damn sure you're happy with how things are going otherwise you'll only grow to resent her for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 OK I'm going to be the one who plays 'bastard'. You only get one life buddy, and you're not going to be young for much longer. I think you need to decide if you're happy spending the foreseeable future doing what you're doing now. That's not to say I think you should change your relationship status necessarily, but you need to make damn sure you're happy with how things are going otherwise you'll only grow to resent her for it. You Bastard! My original solution was "show her the back of your hand" but given her past it may not be the best tactic....... :!: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shillzz Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Well ofcourse the back of your hand is always the first port of call. That's a given. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 As always the thread turns dark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 As always the thread turns dark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b6bloke Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Right back to serious relationship advice needed......... Girl I am currently seeing I have been with her for about 9 or 10 months. She has a lot of stuff going on at the moment. She is studying to be a nurse, currently on 8 week placement, going through bankruptcy and she has a 3 year old child. For the last month or so she is juggling so many plates that I seem to be the one to get dropped all the time. Weekends, if she is not working on placement, consist of me going round to hers and staying in and having the day with her and her son. It is great but it is just getting a bit dull. Date nights have stopped and time which we spend alone together out of the house has nearly dried up. I understand that this is because she feels guilty about being on placement all week then doing paperwork and study and not getting as much time as possible with her son. I feel like a bastard as there are things I want to do with her eg go away for the night, or go into Manchester early evening round the shops, have a meal then go to a few bars etc. Therefore I get pissed off when she says she can't. We usually see each other twice a week then all weekend. However because she has been on mainly lates eg not getting back til 9:30/10pm I have hardly seen her. Also she was working last weekend. Therefore when I do see her I want quality time with just me and her and not sitting in her flat. I know I sound like a selfish clearing in the woods, and her kid is great, but I just want some adult time too. I have told her this and it upsets her because she feels I am blaming her. I am proud that she is changing her life re job, domestic violence victim in the past etc but what is the point if I never get alone time with her??? What do i do? Support her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b6bloke Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Has anyone else ever been ground down by a girl??? There is a bird I work with and she has never really made any secret of the fact that she likes me, whilst I have always got on pretty well with her I have never actually looked at her like that and I have hadto endure endless questions and "jokey" grillings about her and "when we will "get it on" and I have always quaffed at them and said "naaahhhh" Only thing is like I say she is persistent as **** and is slowly (very slowly) winning me round, to the point I recon we would probably go quite well together (better than the **** up shite I got myself into before anyway) Plus.......she has no soul....she is ginger I have a saying, "you cant make someone love you, just stalk them until they give in" you sound stalked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 As always the thread turns dark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Wives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 8, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted August 8, 2012 I think that's (part of) the joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 8, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted August 8, 2012 OK I'm going to be the one who plays 'bastard'. You only get one life buddy, and you're not going to be young for much longer. I think you need to decide if you're happy spending the foreseeable future doing what you're doing now. That's not to say I think you should change your relationship status necessarily, but you need to make damn sure you're happy with how things are going otherwise you'll only grow to resent her for it. This. Be honest with her. It's not working as it is. Something needs to change for you to be happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Wives. and *doesn't* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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