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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

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Only on VT could we even attempt to frighten someone out of having too much sex :crylaugh:

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18 hours ago, chrisp65 said:

A great many years ago I had a friend who was treated for sex addiction (by treated, I mean he went to a consultant for a few weeks who told him to try and stop shagging for a while).  He was shagging his way through the girls' school when the rest of us were still into model planes and hot wheels. 

He was also in Gamblers anonymous, Alcoholics anon., smoked like a chimney and constantly thieved and shoplifted stuff he didn't want or need.

He was 21 when he left town because he'd messed everyone around so much he decided he needed to 'reinvent himself'. Met him again when he was 30 and he didn't look well, didn't look like someone that was going to get to 35. He tried to round up all his old mates and get them to invest in a sure fire thing he had going. Poor bugger.

When we were kids, I called around his house one Saturday morning, football tucked under my arm. He took a bloody age to answer the door, when he did he was wet and had a towel around him. He said he couldn't come out as he was in the shower. I said I could wait. Then a girl came down the stairs, also wet, also with a towel. I think it's fair to say I was genuinely bewildered as to what the hell was going on. Anyway, I went round Mike's house and he was more than happy to come out and play football. He was Germany and I was Holland.

FFS man! Who won ?!?!?

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Sex used be good until I turned into a fat, ugly piece of shit.. Now if I get urge I just look at her and think "Poor bastard".

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20 minutes ago, Xela said:

No updates since Wednesday. What have you bunch of degenerates been up to?

I spent an extremely enjoyable few hours with a very attractive young lady on Wednesday. If I was going to categorise it as a date, I'd say it was pretty damn good. 

Well I think I'm going to go into sexual hibernation and just rely on more GIFs of Alison Brie being posted in the transfer speculation thread to keep me going.

So then Xela!!

First of all, good work! Who is the attractive young lady in question?

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On 27/01/2016 at 14:47, BOF said:

Only on VT could we even attempt to frighten someone out of having too much sex :crylaugh:

with all the consequences we have from sex its a wonder people have it.

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1 hour ago, Shropshire Lad said:

Well I think I'm going to go into sexual hibernation and just rely on more GIFs of Alison Brie being posted in the transfer speculation thread to keep me going.

So then Xela!!

First of all, good work! Who is the attractive young lady in question?

A young lady I've been chatting to a lot recently.. I say young, she's in her 20's! I'm not grooming a child! :D

You know when you spend time with someone and it feels so natural and easy? The 4 hours we were in the bar, seemed liked 10 minutes. Conversation flowed, plenty of laughs and a feeling that this is just 'right'. Sounds promising hey? Not quite as easy as that...there is always a catch, isn't there? The catch is a huge one. Remains to be seen whether it'll be resolved. And no, she's not got a cock and balls before anyone asks! :P

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2 minutes ago, Xela said:

Not quite as easy as that...there is always a catch, isn't there? The catch is a huge one. Remains to be seen whether it'll be resolved. 

Is it a bigger catch than the catch with the last girl?

Edited by Shropshire Lad

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6 minutes ago, Xela said:

A young lady I've been chatting to a lot recently.. I say young, she's in her 20's! I'm not grooming a child! :D

You know when you spend time with someone and it feels so natural and easy? The 4 hours we were in the bar, seemed liked 10 minutes. Conversation flowed, plenty of laughs and a feeling that this is just 'right'. Sounds promising hey? Not quite as easy as that...there is always a catch, isn't there? The catch is a huge one. Remains to be seen whether it'll be resolved. And no, she's not got a cock and balls before anyone asks! :P

for someone who dont seem to like a complicated life you seem to pick up complicated women :)

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9 minutes ago, Xela said:

A young lady I've been chatting to a lot recently.. I say young, she's in her 20's! I'm not grooming a child! :D

You know when you spend time with someone and it feels so natural and easy? The 4 hours we were in the bar, seemed liked 10 minutes. Conversation flowed, plenty of laughs and a feeling that this is just 'right'. Sounds promising hey? Not quite as easy as that...there is always a catch, isn't there? The catch is a huge one. Remains to be seen whether it'll be resolved. And no, she's not got a cock and balls before anyone asks! :P

Married to your best mate, or is your Moms best mate, or has a beard, or has a cock & balls. Or is a small heath inbred.

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5 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

Married to your best mate, or is your Moms best mate, or has a beard, or has a cock & balls. Or is a small heath inbred.

if you could offer any advice to Xela what would it be?

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3 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

if you could offer any advice to Xela what would it be?

DHUTWU

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1 hour ago, Xela said:

A young lady I've been chatting to a lot recently.. I say young, she's in her 20's! I'm not grooming a child! :D

You know when you spend time with someone and it feels so natural and easy? The 4 hours we were in the bar, seemed liked 10 minutes. Conversation flowed, plenty of laughs and a feeling that this is just 'right'. Sounds promising hey? Not quite as easy as that...there is always a catch, isn't there? The catch is a huge one. Remains to be seen whether it'll be resolved. And no, she's not got a cock and balls before anyone asks! :P

She's make believe? 

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1 hour ago, rjw63 said:

DHUTWU

 

1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said:

the best advice you'll ever get.

You two should fill in for Phillip and Holly when they're on holiday.

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1 hour ago, Shropshire Lad said:

Is it a bigger catch than the catch with the last girl?

Same girl! Sorry, should have been clearer, I couldn't remember how much detail I had gone in to about it previously. Yes, its still going on, and I'm still torturing myself like Romeo Montague. Surely only a matter of time before I procure some poison from the apothecary and commit the ultimate sacrifice. Seriously, yeah, I'm surely setting myself up for a fall but I guess you can't help who you end up really liking.

 

1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said:

for someone who dont seem to like a complicated life you seem to pick up complicated women :)

Tell me about it bro! The Henry vacuum is looking more appealing by the minute. Least its not complicated!

 

1 hour ago, Ingram85 said:

Spill it xela!

In short? Religion. 

 

24 minutes ago, Morley_crosses_to_Withe said:

She's make believe? 

Shit, busted

f812bffc8f487a644b9124345cf86ec4.jpg

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23 minutes ago, Xela said:

Same girl! Sorry, should have been clearer.

Ah no worries-to be honest I thought that had all gone quiet around New Years! 

The big issue is not any closer to being resolved then I take it? I'm sure if we pool all our resources together on here we can work out ways in which you can charm these Capulets!!

And no, you can't help who you like, so you gotta go for it when it comes your way. 

Just try and be mindful of that fall...but don't look down!!!

;)

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