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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

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The online thing to me seems extremely fake. Everyone puts on something about themselves which isn't particularly true, whether it be a photo or a description.

Funnily enough, the 10/10s don't need **** online dating sites. There's something dislikeable about everyone, but online dating is about searching for someone without a flaw. I'm an annoying word removed (i know, it seems impossible) and I'm a lazy ****, but you think I'd put those traits on any sort of social profiling? **** no.

I also imagine that it promotes a certain "well he's not/she's not good enough for me" mentality, when really, most people are exactly the same boring stereotypical people we all pretend not to be.

Online dating to me wouldn't work, I've got a bit of a wall up against strangers and it takes time for me to make new friends and aquaintences, so i know no one from a tiny snapshot would be good enough for me, which if course is absolute nonsense. Most people are fine, but I'd get a superiority complex.

Different strokes i guess.

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11 hours ago, Dr_Pangloss said:

It's a sad old game really. Everything is just 'out there' and shockingly performative, oh aren't there just so many options. It strikes me quite silly, hoping to actually find the one via app/dating service, but I guess these are the times we live in. 

 

 

I've come to believe that the concept of "the one" is silly. I'd guess that there are literally countless women worldwide who i'd be happy with long term if I happened to get into a relationship with them.

 

Relationships, initially, are just chemistry and timing. For them to last long term, you need to have similar values, lifestyle and life goals. Similar interests and matching personalities are ideal but by no means absolutely necessary.

 

As I posted earlier i've been having issues with my wife for quite some time and i've been thinking about splitting up with her for over a year. On Saturday night, I moved back to my mum's place. Just for a break at this stage. We were never going to get back to having a healthy and happy relationship while I was there.

 

It was really tough to leave and I was super lonely on the first night, but it's definitely for the best. I'm a bit lost at the moment, but i'll settle in. No idea what the plans are in the medium to long term, we'll see what happens.

 

 

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3 hours ago, ThunderPower_14 said:

 

 

As I posted earlier i've been having issues with my wife for quite some time and i've been thinking about splitting up with her for over a year. On Saturday night, I moved back to my mum's place. Just for a break at this stage. We were never going to get back to having a healthy and happy relationship while I was there.

 

It was really tough to leave and I was super lonely on the first night, but it's definitely for the best. I'm a bit lost at the moment, but i'll settle in. No idea what the plans are in the medium to long term, we'll see what happens.

 

 

Sorry to hear things have not got any better TP. With regards to the loniness my advice would be meet friends, obtain a hobby (heck go to a villa game that might cheer you up if we win!! Dont get stuck in doors its literally the worst thing you can do. Start trying to build yourself a new life and build your confidence up. Do the things that you couldnt do before. For example when I was engaged I had to miss out on a trip to Thailand with the boys. this year they decided to go again and now I am longer with my ex I thought I have another opportunity and am going in March. 

EDIT also I should mention I have met someone else who although early stages I honestly seen more in her in 8 weeks than the whole of a 3 year relationship with my ex. Things can only get better...

 

Edited by Demitri_C
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Just now, Demitri_C said:

Sorry to hear things have not got any better TP. With regards to the loniness my advice would be meet friends, obtain a hobby (heck go to a villa game that might cheer you up if we win!! Dont get stuck in doors its literally the worst thing you can do. Start trying to build yourself a new life and build your confidence up. Do the things that you couldnt do before. For example when I was engaged I had to miss out on a trip to Thailand with the boys. this year they decided to go again and now I am longer with my ex I thought I have another opportunity and am going in March. 

 

Thanks mate, great advice! I've definitely tried to fill my time up with stuff even in the first couple of days.

 

Probably the best thing to come out of it so far is that i'm going for a run for the first time in months tonight. I was running several times a week but the brutal Aussie summer killed my motivation in early November. It will give me something to do and get me in shape.

 

I have heaps of mates who would love to catch up and go to the pub or play some FIFA or whatever, so I should be able to keep myself pretty busy.

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1 minute ago, ThunderPower_14 said:

Thanks mate, great advice! I've definitely tried to fill my time up with stuff even in the first couple of days.

 

Probably the best thing to come out of it so far is that i'm going for a run for the first time in months tonight. I was running several times a week but the brutal Aussie summer killed my motivation in early November. It will give me something to do and get me in shape.

 

I have heaps of mates who would love to catch up and go to the pub or play some FIFA or whatever, so I should be able to keep myself pretty busy.

Thats good, the more active you are the less harder it will be and less lonely you will feel. Give yourself some time and see what you want. Whether its just meet a host of different women, take  a break for a bit etc.  Definitely a good start to get involved in running, join  a gym etc. 

Thats good, your friends will play an important role in helping you overcome this, sounds like a supportive bunch so you should be in good hands

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9 hours ago, lapal_fan said:

 

Online dating to me wouldn't work, I've got a bit of a wall up against strangers and it takes time for me to make new friends and aquaintences, 

 

I am very similar and I think every time I've been dating someone it's generally failed for this reason. However, every now and again you do meet someone from online and that wall isn't there. I'm not sure if that's down to the chemistry between the two of you, your own personal mood, whether it's a full moon or whether you simply "click" or not, but it does happen.

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21 minutes ago, PieFacE said:

Well the meet the friends/family date was err... interesting. What started as a few friendly drinks in a pub transpired into a cocaine party in a garage :lol:

Amazingly, she still wants to see me. 

 

Do share...hers or yours?! :mrgreen:

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Neither, at my family members house. Went to the pub, met a load of friends and family, then we went back to their house for a party and ended up in a garage for most the night (everyone was in there).  We left the party for mine about 5am and spent the whole next day having a really lazy hungover day which was surprisingly nice! 

All my friends and family liked her a lot so she passed that test :thumb:

Edited by PieFacE
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1 hour ago, PieFacE said:

Well the meet the friends/family date was err... interesting. What started as a few friendly drinks in a pub transpired into a cocaine party in a garage :lol:

Amazingly, she still wants to see me. 

 

Please can I come to you next 'family get-together'?

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9 hours ago, PieFacE said:

Well the meet the friends/family date was err... interesting. What started as a few friendly drinks in a pub transpired into a cocaine party in a garage :lol:

Amazingly, she still wants to see me. 

 

Bumped into Rugely Villa did you? 

Hopefully you and your gf didn't partake? 

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1 minute ago, Demitri_C said:

Anyone been with a woman who openly confesses she is abit of a sex addict?

No, but a mate of mine was with a genuine nymphomaniac.  Seemingly it's really not as much fun as it sounds, but I don't believe a word of that :)

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45 minutes ago, BOF said:

No, but a mate of mine was with a genuine nymphomaniac.  Seemingly it's really not as much fun as it sounds, but I don't believe a word of that :)

 

45 minutes ago, BOF said:

No, but a mate of mine was with a genuine nymphomaniac.  Seemingly it's really not as much fun as it sounds, but I don't believe a word of that :)

Well the girl im currently seeing said to me i want to be honest i have quite a high sex drive are you able to handle that? As my ex couldn't 

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Exactly Desi.  It's akin to someone saying they have OCD when all they are is quite well organised.  You really do not have OCD or anything like it.

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