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Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"


rjw63

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I got a call today. Apparently HMRC have opened a criminal investigation against me for tax evasion.  

I took the call whilst standing at the cash-point.

I was drawing out some cash to pay a workman "cash-in-hand" for some work I've had done.  

These HMRC guys are bloody good!! 

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17 minutes ago, Mandy Lifeboats said:

I got a call today. Apparently HMRC have opened a criminal investigation against me for tax evasion.  

I took the call whilst standing at the cash-point.

I was drawing out some cash to pay a workman "cash-in-hand" for some work I've had done.  

These HMRC guys are bloody good!! 

They know you know, last week I had a call the the HMRC was carrying out a criminal investigation against me for tax evasion, at the time I was making a ham sandwich, a ham sandwich I was eating indoors and therefore was not charging myself the 20% vat.

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6 hours ago, fightoffyour said:

Nah that's just a temperature isn't it?

can't actually think of anything less than a quarter.

One thousandth.  Do I win anything? 

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9 hours ago, blandy said:

One of my favourite towns. Went there with work years ago. Stunning place, fabulous people.

Hey now, we don’t want the people of Bergen to get any cockier than they already are. 

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15 minutes ago, El Zen said:

Hey now, we don’t want the people of Bergen to get any cockier than they already are. 

OK then. Maybe just a nurse called Unn. Yes she did get cocky :)

 

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2 minutes ago, blandy said:

OK then. Maybe just a nurse called Unn. Yes she did get cocky :)

My only encounter with a Norwegian nurse was when I had few days in hospital with suspected appendicitis. She was blonde and kind and beautiful, and I fell hopelessly in love with her. 

Unfortunately I was 10 years old. 

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13 minutes ago, El Zen said:

Hey now, we don’t want the people of Bergen to get any cockier than they already are. 

My father's best friend from childhood in Oslo moved to Bergen as an adult and lived there the remainder of his life and loved it.   Ironically, his son who was born and raised in Bergen ended up moving to the greater Oslo area and marrying a woman there.

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I have a new Emma mattress turning up today.  I haven't been sleeping well for ages so this better be good.  I managed to get 75% off the premium one :D.

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12 minutes ago, trekka said:

I have a new Emma mattress turning up today.  I haven't been sleeping well for ages so this better be good.  I managed to get 75% off the premium one :D.

I have one of them, for the same reason, I think on the whole its great, good nights sleep, way more comfortable than almost any other mattress I have tried. I think its been a worthwhile purchase. Nearly killed me taking it up 2 flights of stairs though.

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3 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

I have one of them, for the same reason, I think on the whole its great, good nights sleep, way more comfortable than almost any other mattress I have tried. I think its been a worthwhile purchase. Nearly killed me taking it up 2 flights of stairs though.

Thanks.  I've paid about £300 for a double premium, including premium delivery (meaning they'll take away my old one).  It seemed too good to be true at first but it's direct from their website.  Having just checked, seems I was lucky - the best deal on there now is 55% off (still good, mind). 

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