Parenting Corner: The joys and trials of raising little Villans

[Dodgyknees]

1 hour ago, Spoony said:

Late to the party but very normal. How’s it all going?

I’m an emotional wreck these days. I never used to cry about anything and couldn’t even remember when I last cried.

Bluey nearly made me cry the other day ffs. 

Oh man that’s good to hear (in a nice way!) cos it’s absolutely made me so emotional - I keep thinking about it all and yeah I’m in tears on things that I wouldn’t normally be . Life changing and amazing at the same time. Scary and exciting at the same time. 41 and a first time dad, insane! I hope you’re well man thank you for the reply - stuff like this makes me feel like I’m normal! 

[El Zen]

50 minutes ago, AvfcRigo82 said:

Let's hope your ex isn't a narcissist and prevents you seeing your child for well over a year - no contact, like my stupid ex tried with me a few years back.

 

I shan’t comment on her narcissism, but there is absolutely no way I’ll ever accept anything less than 50 per cent, she wouldn’t have a legal leg to stand on, and I don’t think she’d try that anyway.

[mjmooney]

1 hour ago, Spoony said:

I’m an emotional wreck these days. I never used to cry about anything and couldn’t even remember when I last cried.

Completely normal. If you're really lucky, you get to experience it all over again with grandchildren. 

[AvfcRigo82]

21 minutes ago, El Zen said:

I shan’t comment on her narcissism, but there is absolutely no way I’ll ever accept anything less than 50 per cent, she wouldn’t have a legal leg to stand on, and I don’t think she’d try that anyway.

As long as your name is on the birth certificate sir you automatically have parental responsibility for that child and there's bugger all she can do about that.

I thought like you and assumed my ex wouldn't ever try such a stunt.. But she did!  (Happened not long after I moved 3 hours away to Cheshire).

Evil **** prevented me seeing my daughter or even able to contact her or reach her on her phone. This shit lasted close to a year.

Thankfully, the stunts, lies and false accusations she made against me all came back to bite her in the arse in the end though.

After a near year long court battle, I won the residency order and she now only gets to see her daughter one weekend a month by court order.   

 

Edited August 5, 2023 by AvfcRigo82

[lapal_fan]

On 04/08/2023 at 12:21, Rds1983 said:

My 5 year old son has become interested in my tattoos recently and likes to trace them out or even draw new 'temporary tattoos' on me with a felt pen.

Were heading down to Devon today for a week's holiday and whilst lying in bed this morning he wanted to draw some all over my back and I thought fine, they'll wash off when I jump in the shower.

I hadn't spotted that he'd picked up a permanent marker from somewhere and it's going to be about a week or so before they scrub off completely. 

If anyone happens to see someone walking around the beaches of North Devon with the word 'POOP' written in 6 inch high letters all over their back feel free to say hello.

So what did your 5 year old write on you? 

[JB]

On 14/07/2023 at 22:15, hogso said:

Who has seen the latest episodes available in the UK of Bluey? 

Drop everything and watch Granny Mobile. Chef's kiss. 

Just watched this very episode. Absolutely hilarious! Not sure who was laughing the most - me or my 5 year-old!

[Dodgyknees]

With Kane gone, I’m hoping I can finally convince my partners youngest son to be a Villan! He loved Spurs cos of Kane

[Tegis]

First child out of the house. It's the true mission of parenting, making a functioning adult.

Feels strange and good at the same time

[mjmooney]

43 minutes ago, Tegis said:

First child out of the house. It's the true mission of parenting, making a functioning adult.

Feels strange and good at the same time

Don't worry, they keep coming back. Usually asking for money. 

[djdabush]

My son isn't massively into football yet but I'm doing my best. I live in Manchester and have been desperately trying to get him interested in Villa rather than United or City. My question is simple really, is it a form of child abuse to try and inflict this on him?

[Dodgyknees]

17 hours ago, mjmooney said:

Don't worry, they keep coming back. Usually asking for money. 

Thought I was in the Tory thread for a second. 

[Stevo985]

On 12/08/2023 at 21:04, djdabush said:

My son isn't massively into football yet but I'm doing my best. I live in Manchester and have been desperately trying to get him interested in Villa rather than United or City. My question is simple really, is it a form of child abuse to try and inflict this on him?

No, you inflict the abuse if they DON'T support villa. 

It's called encouragement

[lapal_fan]

My 8 year old is being a real big knob at the moment.  Just so stubborn and not listening.  

What do you do with someone who doesn't care if they lose a toy/game/sporting event/day out?

 

[AVFC_Hitz]

8 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

My 8 year old is being a real big knob at the moment.  Just so stubborn and not listening.  

What do you do with someone who doesn't care if they lose a toy/game/sporting event/day out?

 

Do you follow through on that though?

[Mark Albrighton]

6 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

My 8 year old is being a real big knob at the moment.  Just so stubborn and not listening.  

What do you do with someone who doesn't care if they lose a toy/game/sporting event/day out?

 

What happens if he loses two toys/whatever?

I’ve had to inform my 7 year old that her behaviour would result in whatever toy would go straight in the bin (to the point of making a show of picking the toy up and heading to the outside bin). Seemed to work, thankfully that sort of thing has been very rare and not occurred for a year or two.

What about taking away the TV/tablet? Being made to sit in silence in the front room while both his parents look at their phones? My daughter would crack. I think I’d crack in fairness.

Very occasionally I find being a stubborn knob in return works as well. I quite like that as I have loads more experience in how to do that than she does and it’s a personality trait that comes rather naturally to me.

[lapal_fan]

42 minutes ago, AVFC_Hitz said:

Do you follow through on that though?

Yea, he's lost cricket sessions, football club sessions, days out.

He's not bothered about TV or tablets, computers or anything digital.  He just wants to go outside and play football or cricket.  We did delete FIFA as when he lost, he had tantrums etc, but that's easy.

Nothing seems to phase him.  Which is annoying to me! Lol.

[Seat68]

2 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

Yea, he's lost cricket sessions, football club sessions, days out.

He's not bothered about TV or tablets, computers or anything digital.  He just wants to go outside and play football or cricket.  We did delete FIFA as when he lost, he had tantrums etc, but that's easy.

Nothing seems to phase him.  Which is annoying to me! Lol.

I have YouTube and singing monsters as leverage over my grandson. Doesnt stop being a dick but we do have stuff we can threaten him with. 

[lapal_fan]

1 minute ago, Seat68 said:

I have YouTube and singing monsters as leverage over my grandson. Doesnt stop being a dick but we do have stuff we can threaten him with. 

He doesn't watch YouTube.  He has netflix/Disney/prime etc, but he's absolutely not bothered about losing them.

I need to strip everything back, but there's not a lot already! 

I might just put a lock on his cage

 

[AVFC_Hitz]

4 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

He doesn't watch YouTube.  He has netflix/Disney/prime etc, but he's absolutely not bothered about losing them.

I need to strip everything back, but there's not a lot already! 

I might just put a lock on his cage

 

Does he have responsibility around the house? Setting the table, emptying the dishwasher, laundry and so on? 

At eight he might respond to general encouragement and praise for the good things he does. Bringing him into the household management on a smaller scale might make him feel more important, too. Writing the shopping list with him, planning the weekend, filling out the family planner could also be beneficial.

[Marka Ragnos]

23 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

He doesn't watch YouTube.  He has netflix/Disney/prime etc, but he's absolutely not bothered about losing them.

I need to strip everything back, but there's not a lot already! 

I might just put a lock on his cage

 

In my own experience, this would normally call for a change in tactic. I might come down to his level (physically getting down face to face, too, instead of standing above) and try to have a seriously rational discussion about choices and everyone's feelings and needs and consequences. It sounds like weak sauce, but it does sometimes break up an impasse. Sort of a "OK, we need to stop and talk" parenting move, and then lay out some new realistic choices but get him to invest in the process of working them out, if that makes sense? Anyway, best wishes. I sympathise!

It's so awesome your kid isn't welded mentally to digital stuff and likes to go outside. Well done with that! You're doing something right, that's for sure.

Edited August 14, 2023 by Marka Ragnos