Alisha Lehmann

[Sam-AVFC]

It's easy to say she should come off Instagram, but you have to remember how little women footballers get paid. She has an absolutely huge social media following (bigger than Grealish) which will drive the sponsorships that make up the majority of her income.

[Sam-AVFC]

1 hour ago, foreveryoung said:

I love her to bits and Dougie. But if your gonna post you life on Instagram, mostly in a bikini, including your private holiday photos with your partner, it ain't all gonna be positive vibes. It's a bit idealistic to think all your gonna get is likes and positive comments. If you showed your old skool holiday photos to randoms in the street, do you think they would all say how nice you look and how lucky you are. The negatives come with social media theses day, it ain't gonna change any time soon, so either put up or get off it, simples.

 

These people specifically seek out her Instagram. I'd be a little taken aback if someone asked to see my holiday photos then stuck post its on them slagging me off for being a lesbian.

[Chine]

12 minutes ago, JAMAICAN-VILLAN said:

Mate I've had  actual" Villa Fans " ( And others ) on Facebook and Instagram message me things like " You black word removed " for things as simple as not agreeing on a player performance, in the past.

Shocking tbh ,it’s a very sad time we are in  I don’t really know what else to say apart from we need to do more to stamp this out . 

[Joshie2000]

16 hours ago, Crumpet said:

What a horrendous take

Why, I don't use twatter/instragram and I sadly lost my 19 year old son to suicide 2 1/2 years ago to abuse he was getting on social media, its a cesspit of a place and until its policed properly, people need to stay away. 

Sadly my boy suffered from aspergers so was an easy target, I blame myself everyday that he did share with me what he was going through, but these sick barstools can say and do what they like with no comeback, if I was a famous person/ sports star I'd stay miles away from social media, just like I do now and I'm just a run of the mill bloke. 

[Vive_La_Villa]

1 minute ago, Joshie2000 said:

Why, I don't use twatter/instragram and I sadly lost my 19 year old son to suicide 2 1/2 years ago to abuse he was getting on social media, its a cesspit of a place and until its policed properly, people need to stay away. 

Sadly my boy suffered from aspergers so was an easy target, I blame myself everyday that he did share with me what he was going through, but these sick barstools can say and do what they like with no comeback, if I was a famous person/ sports star I'd stay miles away from social media, just like I do now and I'm just a run of the mill bloke. 

I’m really sorry to hear this.  

[Zhan_Zhuang]

5 minutes ago, Joshie2000 said:

Why, I don't use twatter/instragram and I sadly lost my 19 year old son to suicide 2 1/2 years ago to abuse he was getting on social media, its a cesspit of a place and until its policed properly, people need to stay away. 

Sadly my boy suffered from aspergers so was an easy target, I blame myself everyday that he did share with me what he was going through, but these sick barstools can say and do what they like with no comeback, if I was a famous person/ sports star I'd stay miles away from social media, just like I do now and I'm just a run of the mill bloke. 

This is terrible but do not beat yourself up.

At times it is therapeutic to talk about it yet do not dwell on it, the past cannot be changed.

Treat everyday as a gift, live in the present and be compassionate with all.

[JAMAICAN-VILLAN]

29 minutes ago, Vive_La_Villa said:

I don’t know how you can tolerate fans on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Some serious scum out there.   
 

I still don’t get why anybody would troll Lehman. I guess haters gonna hate.

Isn't it the perfect opportunity for one of those " haters can kiss my ass "  ( Captioned on an ass pic of course )cringe type posts social media females seem to love having excuses to make? Lol

[MrBlack]

You can lock your profile down so only people you know see what you post, and only people you approve can send you messages. On virtually every social media platform. 

If you choose not to do that, you are making a  conscious choice to potentiality receive hatred and abuse from the world.  This is thanks to the Companies choosing to retrospectively police everything, and do a piss poor job of even that, but you know that's the case so you know what you're signing up for.

If you choose not to do that, and you're famous like Alisha is, it's most likely because you're trying to monetize your profile in some way.

I get the sentiment that if you can't cope with that and it sends you into depression then you have to be brave enough to take your public profile down and with it the income/freebies that come with it. You shouldn't have to, and you should be free to post publically without the abuse, but we live in a time when you do.

Her talking about it is a step in getting it more recognised, and every person that does increases the chance that something may eventually happen to prevent it.

My thoughts go to her, no amount of money can prevent mental illness, and hopefully she is able to find a way to cope with the insults, or takes her profile down until she can (or it's effectively prevented/policed)

[TRO]

9 minutes ago, MrBlack said:

You can lock your profile down so only people you know see what you post, and only people you approve can send you messages. On virtually every social media platform. 

If you choose not to do that, you are making a  conscious choice to potentiality receive hatred and abuse from the world.  This is thanks to the Companies choosing to retrospectively police everything, and do a piss poor job of even that, but you know that's the case so you know what you're signing up for.

If you choose not to do that, and you're famous like Alisha is, it's most likely because you're trying to monetize your profile in some way.

I get the sentiment that if you can't cope with that and it sends you into depression then you have to be brave enough to take your public profile down and with it the income/freebies that come with it. You shouldn't have to, and you should be free to post publically without the abuse, but we live in a time when you do.

Her talking about it is a step in getting it more recognised, and every person that does increases the chance that something may eventually happen to prevent it.

My thoughts go to her, no amount of money can prevent mental illness, and hopefully she is able to find a way to cope with the insults, or takes her profile down until she can (or it's effectively prevented/policed)

I say "If you don't like the heat get out of the kitchen"......Easy targets should steer clear of it.

I don't venture outside VT....Thats my social media limit....fwiw.

[MrBlack]

32 minutes ago, Joshie2000 said:

Why, I don't use twatter/instragram and I sadly lost my 19 year old son to suicide 2 1/2 years ago to abuse he was getting on social media, its a cesspit of a place and until its policed properly, people need to stay away. 

Sadly my boy suffered from aspergers so was an easy target, I blame myself everyday that he did share with me what he was going through, but these sick barstools can say and do what they like with no comeback, if I was a famous person/ sports star I'd stay miles away from social media, just like I do now and I'm just a run of the mill bloke. 

Really sorry to hear that mate. And to slightly expand on my previous post, if the abuse is coming from people you know, especially in a school/college environment, more needs to be done to punish those responsible.

[Vancvillan]

31 minutes ago, TRO said:

I say "If you don't like the heat get out of the kitchen"......Easy targets should steer clear of it.

I don't venture outside VT....Thats my social media limit....fwiw.

Easy to say that when a large portion of your income doesn't depend on it.

I remember in the 80's (and later) when non-white players where basically told "you'll never stamp racism out of football, if you don't like the heat...".  It took decades of people standing up and being counted - it was (and still is) very slow progress but at least some steps by police, the FA, clubs and other fans are now a lot more apparent.  I bold other fans because as much as holding offenders to account is important, it's the en-masse (albeit slow) shifting of attitudes that has probably had the biggest effect.  Now if you hear racism during a game in the stands or in a pub there's a strong chance that person will at the very least get called out or told to shut up.

The difference with social media is that if pressure is there, and it is applied by enough people in enough places, there absolutely are algorithms that could help identify offenders, ban the user, ban an IP (I know, I'm behind 7 proxies, etc), ban an associated email address or phone number.  In the world of 2FA, you have to link an account with a device, and that makes it harder to create new accounts.  Honestly I think if you just make it a little bit hard you'll get rid of 90% of it.

I don't agree with "she should leave if she can't handle it" any more than I think she shouldn't wear a skirt if she wants to in case she gets cat-called in real life.  I think the fact that she's staying and speaking out is not something she should be obligated - to do but it is brave.  If she chose to leave that's again her decision, but the more people talk about this problem, the more likely something is to change.

[Anything11]

A lot of victim blaming in this thread. Grow up.

[Aston_Villan4]

1 hour ago, Anything11 said:

A lot of victim blaming in this thread. Grow up.

Not a single person has blamed her or any victim of online abuse. 

[WallisFrizz]

55 minutes ago, Anything11 said:

A lot of victim blaming in this thread. Grow up.

I haven’t seen that in the main. I’ve seen a discussion re balancing mental health with an online social presence.

Ideal world- Alisha Lehman has 8m followers and receives only positive messages. 
It’s not an ideal world though, so many miserable people get their kicks from being vile to others and social media  is v difficult to police (people get banned then get a new profile and carry on the trolling-repeat. Suspects on different continents/different laws/lack of resources/difficult to trace) so at some point of it is getting too much the recipient needs to take a break for their mental well-being.

It is not so easy as to say just come off it completely though because social media is the way of the world now especially for those under 35. It would be isolating not to use it and like people have mentioned, in respect of Lehman, it is probably a significant part of her income.

As an aside, I dread to think what Carney is getting from Villa fans at the moment.

[Vancvillan]

2 minutes ago, WallisFrizz said:

I haven’t seen that in the main. I’ve seen a discussion re balancing mental health with an online social presence.

Ideal world- Alisha Lehman has 8m followers and receives only positive messages. 
It’s not an ideal world though, so many miserable people get their kicks from being vile to others and social media  is v difficult to police (people get banned then get a new profile and carry on the trolling-repeat. Suspects on different continents/different laws/lack of resources/difficult to trace) so at some point of it is getting too much the recipient needs to take a break for their mental well-being.

It is not so easy as to say just come off it completely though because social media is the way of the world now especially for those under 35. It would be isolating not to use it and like people have mentioned, in respect of Lehman, it is probably a significant part of her income.

As an aside, I dread to think what Carney is getting from Villa fans at the moment.

From one of many sources that say the same thing:

"Victim blaming can be defined as someone saying, implying, or treating a person who has experienced harmful or abusive behaviour like it was a result of something they did or said, instead of placing the responsibility where it belongs: on the person who harmed them."

I don't know how you can read that, and also read things like "if you can't stand the heat" or "easy targets should steer clear" and call it anything else.

[Demitri_C]

1 hour ago, Anything11 said:

A lot of victim blaming in this thread. Grow up.

Can you show us these mythicial posts ?

[Aston_Villan4]

5 hours ago, Vancvillan said:

Easy to say that when a large portion of your income doesn't depend on it.

I remember in the 80's (and later) when non-white players where basically told "you'll never stamp racism out of football, if you don't like the heat...".  It took decades of people standing up and being counted - it was (and still is) very slow progress but at least some steps by police, the FA, clubs and other fans are now a lot more apparent.  I bold other fans because as much as holding offenders to account is important, it's the en-masse (albeit slow) shifting of attitudes that has probably had the biggest effect.  Now if you hear racism during a game in the stands or in a pub there's a strong chance that person will at the very least get called out or told to shut up.

The difference with social media is that if pressure is there, and it is applied by enough people in enough places, there absolutely are algorithms that could help identify offenders, ban the user, ban an IP (I know, I'm behind 7 proxies, etc), ban an associated email address or phone number.  In the world of 2FA, you have to link an account with a device, and that makes it harder to create new accounts.  Honestly I think if you just make it a little bit hard you'll get rid of 90% of it.

I don't agree with "she should leave if she can't handle it" any more than I think she shouldn't wear a skirt if she wants to in case she gets cat-called in real life.  I think the fact that she's staying and speaking out is not something she should be obligated - to do but it is brave.  If she chose to leave that's again her decision, but the more people talk about this problem, the more likely something is to change.

Sadly it’s an issue that’s been going on for many years and social media companies have been sluggish at best when it comes to actually doing something about protections/moderation. Not to come across as defeatist but just talking about it isn’t enough at this point.

Also, I think people are getting carried away with the whole social media is most of her income/it’s easy to say get off thing. There’s no suggestion that’s it’s as easy as turning off a light switch. However, the reason I posted it is because I really believe the decision to protect ones mental health should be prioritized over how much money one would lose by getting off social media. And speaking of, I would be surprised if social media was her main source of income like some think. It’s definitely an addition but outside of her soccer contract I would expect most money to be from modeling/endorsements.

[Demitri_C]

Isnt there a feature to turn off comments ? Or prevent dms? Obviously its not ideal but if you want to remain on social media and not get all the abuse thats somethinv you can probably use?

[WallisFrizz]

56 minutes ago, Vancvillan said:

From one of many sources that say the same thing:

"Victim blaming can be defined as someone saying, implying, or treating a person who has experienced harmful or abusive behaviour like it was a result of something they did or said, instead of placing the responsibility where it belongs: on the person who harmed them."

I don't know how you can read that, and also read things like "if you can't stand the heat" or "easy targets should steer clear" and call it anything else.

Whilst I don’t agree with those opinions you know the quotes you used don’t actually prove your definition right?

They’re essentially saying (bluntly) social media is a cess pit that is out of control so might be a good idea to stay off it if you are finding it mentally tough. Not if you go on social media it’s your fault if you get abused. Of course it’s the fault of the abuser. Obviously. To pretend you don’t see the difference in the sentiments is disingenuous.

[Aston_Villan4]

24 minutes ago, Demitri_C said:

Isnt there a feature to turn off comments ? Or prevent dms? Obviously its not ideal but if you want to remain on social media and not get all the abuse thats somethinv you can probably use?

As far as I know, for Instagram, the only way to prevent DMs or unwanted comments is either individually block accounts or make your account private. I think Twitter is a little more nuanced with their options, for example you can block DMs from people who you don’t follow, limiting randos from spamming your DM box. Same with tweet comments too. Not sure about other sites like tiktok.