Straggler Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 11 hours ago, AvfcRigo82 said: Just been to get a loaf of bread which cost £1.03p and I gave the grumpy looking bitch at the till a £20 note. She said in her dull tone "have you got anything smaller as that would take all my change." I said "no sorry, but I can pay on card if that helps?" She sarcastically responds "of course it would help" So as I presented my card she said "Cash back?" I said "Yes please!" "How much?" She asked. I said "£18.97" Tbf I'd be annoyed if I'd been left to run a shop with less than two notes and eight coins in change available. Irresponsible management that is, it was always going to lead to problems. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 I may have posted this before, But I'm old and I forget so its OK Dad caught 16-year-old lad having a wnk in his bedroom For Christ sake there is no need for that he said, here’s a tenner go behind Tesco and have sex with one of the Prostitutes said his dad On the way to Tesco he met his Nan, where are you going she asked and he told her. Don’t go wasting a tenner on prostitutes. You can have sex with me she said So he did When he got home, he gave his Dad the money back and told him what had happened You Fckd my mother Dad shouted You Fckd mine replied the lad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 I may have posted this before, But I'm old and I forget so its OK Dad caught 16-year-old lad having a wnk in his bedroom For Christ sake there is no need for that he said, here’s a tenner go behind Tesco and have sex with one of the Prostitutes said his dad On the way to Tesco he met his Nan, where are you going she asked and he told her. Don’t go wasting a tenner on prostitutes. You can have sex with me she said So he did When he got home, he gave his Dad the money back and told him what had happened You Fckd my mother Dad shouted You Fckd mine replied the lad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvfcRigo82 Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Robtaylor200 said: I may have posted this before, But I'm old and I forget so its OK Yes, you did - about 30 seconds before. Edited August 18, 2018 by AvfcRigo82 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 Yes I did 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post a m ole Posted August 18, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted August 18, 2018 10 minutes ago, Robtaylor200 said: I may have posted this before, But I'm old and I forget so its OK Dad caught 16-year-old lad having a wnk in his bedroom For Christ sake there is no need for that he said, here’s a tenner go behind Tesco and have sex with one of the Prostitutes said his dad On the way to Tesco he met his Nan, where are you going she asked and he told her. Don’t go wasting a tenner on prostitutes. You can have sex with me she said So he did When he got home, he gave his Dad the money back and told him what had happened You Fckd my mother Dad shouted You Fckd mine replied the lad This joke would have been better without all of it. 4 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted August 18, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted August 18, 2018 I was going to phone you yesterday, I was in Tesco and saw your name on a loaf of bread Then realised it actually said Thick Cut 6 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 I brought an antique stuffed dog at a car boot last week I wonder what it will fetch 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 19, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted August 19, 2018 On 16/08/2018 at 21:07, BOF said: Astronaut 1: Hi mate, I can't find any milk for my coffee. Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream. Two posts above yours... awkward. On 16/08/2018 at 09:01, Stevo985 said: Astronaut 1: Errr, mate. I'm trying to make a cup of coffee but I can't find any milk. Astronaut 2: In space, no-one can. Here, use cream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 19, 2018 Moderator Share Posted August 19, 2018 5 hours ago, Stevo985 said: Two posts above yours... awkward. Well that's just great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mark Albrighton Posted August 19, 2018 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted August 19, 2018 The perils of pillow talk ably demonstrated by @BOF and @Stevo985 there. 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted August 20, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted August 20, 2018 I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvfcRigo82 Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 (edited) Why not put Brendon Rodgers in charge of Brexit? He managed to get Celtic out of Europe in just 180 minutes! Edited August 21, 2018 by AvfcRigo82 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvfcRigo82 Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 The British woman who fell off the cruise ship has been named as Eileen Dover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villanmike Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 What do you call a fly without wings? A walk. (i'll just get my coat). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvfcRigo82 Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 1 hour ago, villanmike said: What do you call a fly without wings? A sultana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 8pints Posted August 28, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2018 I went for an early morning walk in the graveyard and saw a man squatting behind a gravestone. "Morning," I said "No, just having a poo." 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted September 4, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted September 4, 2018 (edited) I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said “thanks” I said “don’t mention it” plethora. Edited September 4, 2018 by Paddywhack 5 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AvfcRigo82 Posted September 4, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted September 4, 2018 Bought a dog from the blacksmith yesterday. Soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door! 10 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted September 5, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted September 5, 2018 7 hours ago, AvfcRigo82 said: Bought a dog from the blacksmith yesterday. Soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door! I'm nicking that 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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