Rob182 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Racist(said Sol Campbell) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 It'll be interesting to see which breed of Dogs play in which positions. Could have big say on the outcome of tomorrow's match. Dobermans on the wing to employ a classic pinscher movement down the flanks, putting in crosses to my Great Dane and Border Collie upfront or playing the ball back to my marauding attacking midfield ace from Rhodesia, who trains in the offseason killing lions. Stout hearted Rottweilers in central defense flanked by Pit Bulls. Apes gonna be shitting it every time they go forward... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) Apes will be wearing vets white coats. Lets see who be sh**ting it with the threat of a thermometer up their ass. Edited August 14, 2014 by Seat68 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rob182 Posted August 14, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 14, 2014 Pre-Match Interview We cannot provide the manager's thoughts on Today's game, as Rob182 has handed all press-duties to his assistant manager, and motivational speaker, OstRic Flair. Is this an attempt at some clever, Mourinho-esq mind games? Or simply laziness on the manager's part? Here is our interview with the 65-year-old semi-retired wrestler. Interviewer: So, Mr Flair, the manager has chosen the team, and it's been widely reported that he has a specific game-plan to beat Today's stubborn opponents. Can you provide any insight on the tactics or formation? OstRic Flair: LET'S DO THISSS!!!!!!!! Interviewer:.. ? OstRic Flair: .... Interviewer: Okay. It's well known that Ostriches have three stomachs, do you think this will give you an advantage Today? OstRic Flair: LET'S DO THISSSSSS!!!!!!!! Interviewer: *sigh*... Erm. With a top speed of 70 km/hr, covering upto 5 metres in a single stride and also the largest eye of any land animal, measuring almost 5cm across, giving your players incredible vision, you must feel that this makes your Team the favourites, yes? OstRic Flair: LET'S... Interviewer: -Yes, Let's do this. In a few hours, we will!!... Sorry..... Erm.. Interestingly, as ostriches don't have teeth, they swallow pebbles to grind their food and an adult ostrich carries about 1kg of stones in it's stomach. That will give you a bit of additional strength, to combat your large opponents won't it? OstRic Flair: LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Interviewer: Okay, I think that's the end of the interview. Thanks, Mr Flair.. for.. your words.... All three of them. Interviewer's final word: So there you have it folks, incredible insight from a man with no footballing experience who is collecting a wage and, presumably, a pension. Here are the 'ones to watch' in the Ostrich Team: OstRichard Gere (Goal Keeper) OstRichard Simmons (Right Back, with incredible fitness) OstRichard Branson (Tough tackling Centre Midfielder) OstRichard Attenborough (Veteran Striker) 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I don't think it'll be a walk in the park for the Gorillas today, for me they'll struggle with the Dogs speed, agility and movement off the ball. I'm going for a victory for the dogs who I think need to perfect their passing game to advance up the pitch as they'll struggle with dribbling given the short distance between their front and back legs. The Ostriches have to fancy themselves against the Elephants with their pace and superior mobility. I can see them pulling off a few nutmegs in this match, something the elephants will have to guard against, balls passed inbetween their front and bag legs could cause a lot of damage, but they'll know this and will have been training for it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Looks like the human team have been getting in some practice against the (unlucky not to qualify) cows: 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Folski Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 What time is ko today Stevo? I all for the Kodiak's winning this now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 14, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) Match 5 - Gorillas vs Dogs The third day of the SIFF world cup promised much, as two matches were taking place that, with the bookies at least, looked like they would be close games. The Gorillas took on the Dogs in the early kick off. The Gorillas set up with a traditional 4-4-2 whereas Kenny Dog-leash set his team up with a more unconventional 3-4-1-2. The game started well for the dogs, Spaniel Alves and Dirk Snout performing their wing back roles admirably, regularly spreading the play and feeding Mutt Le Tissier in the middle of the park. But it was the gorillas who had the first chance. A long through ball evaded the dog defence, Robert Woof unable to keep pace with King Kong, the Gorilla captain, but he saw his shout tipped over by Stray Given in the dog goal. Nicky Mutt had the Dog’s first chance when he crashed a header against the foot of the post from a Doggy Zamora cross. Despite all the dogs’ hard work, it was they who fell behind late in the first half. Denis Paw gave away a foul after snapping at the heels of Faustino Gorilla, and the tricky silverback dusted himself off and dispatched the free kick high into the corner of the net, well out of the reach of Given in goal. The second half was a different story. The dogs tried to freshen things up, bringing on Lassie-na Diarra and Growl Meireles to sure up the midfield, but it had the opposite effect. The dogs failed to keep their discipline as the Gorillas moved up a gear and picked them apart. The lead was doubled on the hour mark as Joe Young got onto the end of a through ball ad finished coolly through the keeper’s legs. The Dogs did their best to get back into the game but found themselves further behind soon after. Given flapped at a cross, unable to hold the ball between his paws, and Congo slid in at the back post to send the ball home and give the Gorillas ample breathing space. The dogs were given hope late in the game, Johan Crufts getting on the end of a hopeful punt downfield from Wesley Schnauser and lobbed the hapless Gorilla goalkeeper with a beautiful header. But it proved to be only a consolation, especially when, with the 90 minutes played, King Kong got his second of the game to finish off the dogs in injury time. A valiant effort from the Dogs, but the Gorillas, in truth, never looked overly troubled and continue the trend of the favourites going through in every game so far.Result - Gorillas 4 - 1 Dogs Edited August 14, 2014 by Stevo985 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Stray Given 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ghost Posted August 14, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) I am releasing some footage of my players working on some drills. I wouldn't be surprised if the Ostriches stick their heads in the sand after seeing this. Our defensive mid Tantor is on top form and has been practicing his man-marking. He's fairly young but once he's given a job to do, there's no escaping him. We have a few youngsters that are very quick and have pace to burn. Here's one of our wingers, Elefantinho, displaying his lightning speed. One of our most talented players in our line-up is undoubtedly Peléphant. His touch on the ball is second to none, and he even has a couple of tricks up his sleeve. Here he is in training, demonstrating his superb control and scoring a goal with a nonchalant backheel. We also know that the Ostriches aren't the fairest of players. The amount of yellow and red cards they've collected during qualification is testament to that. Pecking opposition players and kicking sand into opposing players' faces is despicable behaviour. So if they try anything funny, we know how to deal with that. Edited August 14, 2014 by Ghost 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted August 14, 2014 Author VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) Match 6 - Ostriches vs Elephants The late kick off saw a very tight affair as the highly tipped Ostriches faced off against the rising stars of the Elephants. The game got off to a rip roaring, end to end start. The Ostriches had the ball in the net before the 5 minute mark, Nelly-ville Southall in the Elephant goal unwisely trying to claim a cross and leaving Ostrichard Simmons to tap into an empty net, but it was ruled out for offside. The Elephants went straight down the other end, and when the ball was squared to Fabrizio Rava-nelly, he drove it towards goal unconventionally with his trunk, but saw Ostrichard Gere tip it round the post with an outstretched face. The action didn’t stop there. The Ostriches far superior pace was opening up the huge elephant backline at every opportunity, diagonal balls regularly causing mass confusion. But, despite his best efforts, Ostrichard Attenbrough was thwarted again and again by big Nelly-ville, who had every shot literally bounce off him as he covered 95% of the goal. Finally, the ostriches did find a goal, and it was the least they deserved. Ostrichard Branson tempted Southall out of his goal and fed the on rushing Ostrichard Simmons who hammered the ball into the net to take the lead for the Ostriches. The second half saw a much more direct approach by the Elephants, who ditched any attempts to use their feet and started to deliver long, raking balls using only their trunks. That’s how the scores were levelled. A long ball into the Ostrich penalty area was knocked down into the path of Nelly, who drove a shot high into the roof of the net. Fearing an upset, the Ostriches moved into top gear, moving the ball around well and constantly finding space against the unagile Elephants. But again, Southall stood firm and the Ostriches were unable to beat him. With 90 seconds left on the clock, another Ostrich attack was thwarted by a punch from Southall. The ball fell to the feet of Elephantinho who delivered a long through ball which split the Ostrich defence, who’d been playing a high line looking for the winner. The ball found the onrunning Pelephant who powered a shot home past Gere. The Elephants celebrated wildly, the noise of trumpeting in the crowd making the stadium shake. It proved to be the last chance of the game, the Ostriches had barely kicked off when the ref blew for full time. The Ostriches immediately collapsed in disappointment as the Elephants ran to the bench to embrace the squad. The World Cup has seen its first upset. The Ostricjes were fancied by some to win the entire tournament, but nearly everybody expected them to advance to at least the Quarter Finals. This was quite a scalp for the Elephants and will set them up well for, potentially, a game vs the Humans in the next round. Result - Ostriches 1 - 2 Elephants Edited August 14, 2014 by Stevo985 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Rob must be devastated.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 14, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 14, 2014 Polls added for Day 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AVFCforever1991 Posted August 14, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 14, 2014 Some shots from our training session today.. We also tried some new aerobic drills, but did not go as planned. There is also a feeling among the camp, that their is no fear for tomorrow's match: 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 The albatrosses - are they (badly) managed by the Ancient (Paul) Mariner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CVByrne Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 This thread has to take the biscuit for most confusing thread in the history of VT. WTF!! What on earth is this about Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 14, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 14, 2014 This thread has to take the biscuit for most confusing thread in the history of VT. WTF!! What on earth is this about its quite simple, if you put a human brain in animals, ie intelligence wasn't a factor, which animal would have the best football team? Obviously its evolved slightly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 14, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted August 14, 2014 I blame the pink shirts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 14, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 14, 2014 I blame the pink shirts. I knew you'd be angry at that result. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 14, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted August 14, 2014 Don't think I'll bother watching the rest of this tournament TBH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts