CVByrne Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) This thread has to take the biscuit for most confusing thread in the history of VT. WTF!! What on earth is this about its quite simple, if you put a human brain in animals, ie intelligence wasn't a factor, which animal would have the best football team? Obviously its evolved slightly That's easy, the Honey Badger Edited August 14, 2014 by CVByrne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 If the Albatrosses are allowed to fly with the ball, tomorrows match could be one of the best spectacles yet. Looking forward to seeing how the Pandas cope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 There will be pandamonium in the stands... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 That's easy, the Honey Badger Match 4 - Kangaroos vs Honeybadgers ... Result - Kangaroos 1 - 0 Honeybadgers 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 15, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 15, 2014 Could be another upset on the cards today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Rob must be devastated.. Okay, I'm back. I've had a crazy, depressing night of alcohol, drugs and sex with Ostrich prostitutes, but now I'm coming to terms with our exit from the competition. I can't believe that all my Ostrich facts didn't sway the vote Did you know that Ostriches have a 20cm retractable 'copulatory gland', unlike other birds? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 15, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 15, 2014 I think the Ostriches should have won, they'd easily beat elephants in a football match. But SIFF isn't corrupt. The people spoke. Ostriches lost fair and square. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I think SIFF IS corrupt Stevo!!! The votes had already been cast before I'd even had a chance to put forward my argument (with all my *ahem* interesting facts!) ! But don't worry, I'll be handing around a petition to remove the whole Ostrich community from any future SIFF competitions, and to instead join the Buraeu of Only Ostrich Ballsports. If you would like to sign up for BOOB, then PM me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 15, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 15, 2014 We have plenty of other teams interested. I'm sure we can find someone else to act as "also-rans" for the next tournament. The giraffes are interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 We'll see Stevo, I heard they were contacting the 'Company of Leadership for Unproper and Negative Giraffe Exclusion' after not making the finals. No doubt their claims will mainly be based around their height, but either way, you can't ignore CLUNGE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted August 15, 2014 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2014 It saddens me to say this, because Rob182 has been a great servant to the 'Striches, but the manager has to take responsibility for this - let's not mince words - catastrophe. He has to go. The pink shirts thing was the last straw, but there were a number of inexplicable decisions made in the run up to SIFF. Why, oh why, was the bang-in-form Elaine Strich left out of the side? I can only put it down to old-school sexism. While the undroppable Ostrichard Branson yet again was picked, despite being clearly useless - money talks, perhaps. The search for a new manager should begin immediately, we can't go into the SIFF Euros with this farcical setup. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArteSuave Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Ostrich Ardiles could have been the difference IMHO. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I was surprised at the Ostriches result but even more surprised at what happened in the Gorillas V dogs match. Gorillas can hardly stand up and given their shape it isn't exactly easy to play football on all fours but they found a method that worked and so good luck to them. I can't decide how today's matches are going to pan out, think it'll be two evenly matched games but not putting any money on it given my predictions from yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 15, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 15, 2014 The dogs were on all fours too though. And it's harder for them to stand up than the Gorillas That's before you even come to the gorillas superior height, power, dexterity etc 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I was thinking there's more room to maneuver the ball under a dog on all fours than a Gorilla in the same position but having just looked into it, there's quite a bit of room for Gorillas too and they can be bipedal albeit for a short time. Anyway they did it fair and square doesn't really matter what I say, good luck to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Many of the larger animals have great strength, but with the loss of speed that brings, I wonder how important strength, height & power is, when you haven't got the ball. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 OFFICIAL OSTRICH TEAM STATEMENT: In the recent weeks, certain members of the Ostrich Team fanbase have been extremely active in their (his) campaign to make changes to the current set-up. This hasn't gone unnoticed at the Ostrich Head (and neck) Quarters. With immediate effect, I am happy to announce that the full pink kit has an added black stripe to the socks. OstRic Flair has also been relieved of his duties, after his embarrassing press conference, and we will be bringing in a new Assistant Manager shortly. Unfortunately, the good news stops there, as Ostrichard Branson has sadly announced his international retirement. I hope this influx of changes will satisfy all 'Strich supporters, and you will continue to follow us in, what we know will be, a 'Bright Future'. Regards, Rob182 Ostrich Team Manager 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Is there any teams left? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) yeah it's only the first round ok i knew what you meant , I'll go get me panda fur coat Edited August 15, 2014 by tonyh29 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 15, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 15, 2014 Match 7 - Humans vs Baboons The penultimate game of the first knockout round saw the first action in the tournament for the much fancied human team, being represented by current human world champions, Germany. As the inventors of the game and the only species to have played the game at a high level for the past 150 years, they were understandably very highly rated, with most fans assuming they’d at least be featuring in the final. Today they came up against a motivated and intimidating Baboons team, led by inspirational captain Papa Baboon Diop. The game kicked off with the Germans keeping possession and trying to play the game conventionally, Ozil and Lahm controlling the midfield and Klose being fed both in the air and on the ground. They kept the baboons at arm’s length and indeed it was the humans who had the first chance, a beautiful through ball from Khedira finding Klose who was unlucky to see his shot saved by the agile and impressive baboon goalkeeper. The Humans kept up their pressure, Per Mertesacker seeing a header rebound against the bar after rising highest to meet an Ozil corner, and Khedira going close with a rasping drive that went just wide. The baboons had their moments, a long ball finding Baboon Diop who was thwarted by a good save from Neuer. Later, the baboon striker met a cross with his ample rear end but the effort was always rising. The humans got the lead just after half time, Podolski meeting a square ball on the half volley and rifling it past the helpless baboon keeper. The lead was doubled a mere 5 minutes later. A long ball into a crowded baboon penalty are caused confusion, and the ball was handled by a baboon defender. Lahm dispatched the penalty to make the score 2-0. The game was made to look tight when the baboons got a goal back with 20 minutes remaining, a lovely solo effort saw Baboon Diop split the German defence with a mazy run and finish past Neuer with his arse. But the Humans were rarely troubled after that, and 5 minutes from the end Klose rose to meet a cross and make the score 3-1 and out of the reach of the baboons. Result - Humans 3 - 1 Baboons Is there any teams left? To manage? Sure Check the second post of the thread, although make sure you pick a team that's not been eliminated 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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