The Boring Thread

[Mandy Lifeboats]

I am a bit OCD and I've decided that all of the problems in this country could be solved if we made the UK symmetrical.  I've now finalised my plans and I am ready to start it off. 

Stage 1 Birmingham. This would remain unchanged initially and would be the central point from which symetry would be measured.

Stage 2 London. It's the biggest city so we leave it where it is. It would be stupid to move a city as big as London. 

Stage 3. Bristol and Cardiff would be merged and moved to a new location that makes a symmetrical triangle with Brum and London. This might be somewhere in the Bristol channel but we'll be filling a lot of that in to make the Severn and the Thames match.

Stage 4. Liverpool. Moved slightly to ensure symetry with Bristodiff (see above). The Mersey would be altered to match the Thames and the Severn. 

Stage 5. Hull. The last of the 4 cities that will form a square around Brum. It might need to be moved a bit.

Stage 6. Edinburgh stays in the same position. 

Now we have the easy stuff sorted we can tackle the more difficult stuff. 

Stage 7. We need to create a symmetrical equivalent to Edinburgh. But to do s, it will need to be in France. Invasion is a possibility but could get messy. Much better to swap most of Wales with them. Flattening Wales to be symmetrical with East Anglia is going to be time consuming so we avoid that problem. 

Stage 8. Decide whether to fill in the Channel or dig a symmetrical version north of Hull & Liverpool and south of Edinburgh. Filling in the channel would assist with the invasion (Stage 7) and provide a place to put all the rubble from the Welsh mountains (see above). 

I'm not sure of the best option for Stage 9. Does anyone have any suggestions?*

*Find a good psychiatrist is already in progress. 

Edited June 26, 2019 by Mandy Lifeboats
Speeling mishsteaks

[choffer]

Couldn't you just iron Wales flat instead of just scraping off the mountains? That would give you a much greater landmass but would probably mean you'd have to move more of your cities to maintain symmetry.

 

Edited June 27, 2019 by choffer

[Mandy Lifeboats]

3 hours ago, choffer said:

Couldn't you just iron Wales flat instead of just scraping off the mountains? That would give you a much greater landmass but would probably mean you'd have to move more of your cities to maintain symmetry.

 

Great idea @choffer. It's sensible ideas like that which will see this project succeed. If we ironed Wales,  trimmed the edges and moved it slightly it would become the symettrical equivalent to East Anglia. But could we fit it in without having to move Ireland? 

More suggestions please. 

[choffer]

3 minutes ago, Mandy Lifeboats said:

East Anglia

Disappointed that given your desire for symmetry, you haven’t thought to rename it East Angular. 

[Mandy Lifeboats]

11 minutes ago, choffer said:

Disappointed that given your desire for symmetry, you haven’t thought to rename it East Angular. 

Let's not get too ambitious.  Once symmetry has been achieved we'll move onto straightening everything. Coastlines, motorways,  rivers are all too irregular for my liking. 

[blandy]

50 minutes ago, Mandy Lifeboats said:

Once symmetry has been achieved we'll move onto straightening everything. Coastlines

I don't like this. I'm now worried, not bored.

 

[Mandy Lifeboats]

33 minutes ago, blandy said:

 I'm now worried

 

Look......you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Yes, a few places might need to be erased from the map. Yes, we might have to invade France. But eventually the UK would be symettrical. There would be no North/South divide. Just North/South symmetry. 

Map costs would reduce by 50%. Just buy half the country and place it next to a mirror. 

[Rugeley Villa]

Hit the scales today for the first time in ages. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been . 14.4 stone.  Shocked me a bit, but I knew I’d put weight on. I am 36 now though.

[Stevo985]

31 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Hit the scales today for the first time in ages. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been . 14.4 stone.  Shocked me a bit, but I knew I’d put weight on. I am 36 now though.

36 stone is a bit much mate. Lay off the pies

[mjmooney]

There was a bloke interviewed on R4 this morning who was a natural for this thread. His granddad had died, leaving his shed completely full of all the crap that sheds are always full of - tools, screws, nuts, bolts, widgets, old crisp packets, bottle tops, etc., etc. This bloke decided to draw it. All of it. Every individual item. He laid out rules for himself - he only had to draw it if it didn't crumble in his hand (so no dead insects, bits of plaster, etc.). If it was (say) an open packet of screws, he had to take them all out and draw them one at a time, then put them back and then draw the packet. If it was an unopened packet, he didn't have to open it, just draw it as it was. When he started, he thought it would take him five years, but he's now realised the magnitude of the task, and concedes it will take the rest of his life, and will probably never be finished. To complicate matters, his gran, who is still alive, doesn't know he's doing this, and he sneaks round to do it secretly, while she's out at the shops, etc. 

[HanoiVillan]

44 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

There was a bloke interviewed on R4 this morning who was a natural for this thread. His granddad had died, leaving his shed completely full of all the crap that sheds are always full of - tools, screws, nuts, bolts, widgets, old crisp packets, bottle tops, etc., etc. This bloke decided to draw it. All of it. Every individual item. He laid out rules for himself - he only had to draw it if it didn't crumble in his hand (so no dead insects, bits of plaster, etc.). If it was (say) an open packet of screws, he had to take them all out and draw them one at a time, then put them back and then draw the packet. If it was an unopened packet, he didn't have to open it, just draw it as it was. When he started, he thought it would take him five years, but he's now realised the magnitude of the task, and concedes it will take the rest of his life, and will probably never be finished. To complicate matters, his gran, who is still alive, doesn't know he's doing this, and he sneaks round to do it secretly, while she's out at the shops, etc. 

What show was it on? 

[mjmooney]

32 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said:

What show was it on? 

Saturday Live. 

[HanoiVillan]

20 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

Saturday Live. 

Not heard of that one. Any good? 

[mjmooney]

3 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said:

Not heard of that one. Any good? 

Basically a magazine-type chat show with a mixture of minor celebs and people with a story to tell. Cosy stuff, really. 

[bickster]

I cleared out my shed today as it happens, no drawing was done

[Rugeley Villa]

Just gone past The Roberts Bread factory . You can actually see the conveyer belt with all the bread on it. 

[VILLAMARV]

I just realised there's a new bit of road in Cardiff. I got from my house to the Butetown Tunnel in 9 mins the other day. I reckon that's 2 minutes quicker than the other way.

[A'Villan]

Today was a beautiful sunny day despite it being winter.

Was meant to step outside and get some practice in, see friends and just take it in.

Ended up watching TED talks, reading up on free market capitalism and scrolling through VT.

[bickster]

59 minutes ago, A'Villan said:

and scrolling through VT

This has no place here!

[RadioTom]

I've just been given a new work laptop (HP Elitebook G6). It's not quite as slim as the last one, but it's speed and sound quality more than make up for the bulk.