HanoiVillan Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 56 minutes ago, rjw63 said: Who's Colin Fishwick you sad bastards? He's no Ronnie Pickering that's for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ingram85 Posted March 22, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted March 22, 2017 Too nice? Some Women really are glutton for punishment. Your wife's friend is a slag RV. The too nice bloke dodged a bullet there. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 17 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: Yeah that's her. He was too nice pm me your number and I will sort you out if you want, Ive been told this before... what a **** cop out. They should just say they find us repulsive 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 18 hours ago, Ingram85 said: Too nice? Some Women really are glutton for punishment. I agree mate. There is a woman at work who always goes for the type of bloke who gives her a kicking. Now, domestic violence is appalling and inexcusable but a part of me thinks that if she stopped going for, and I quote in her words, "bad boys", then she wouldn't come into work with black eyes and broken ribs. Oh yeah, she did date a nice guy once but dumped him as he was not exciting enough. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 38 minutes ago, Xela said: I agree mate. There is a woman at work who always goes for the type of bloke who gives her a kicking. Now, domestic violence is appalling and inexcusable but a part of me thinks that if she stopped going for, and I quote in her words, "bad boys", then she wouldn't come into work with black eyes and broken ribs. Oh yeah, she did date a nice guy once but dumped him as he was not exciting enough. Ah the old I complain I get treated like crap but really I'd rather have this than find a nice guy as they bore me No sympathy from me if you keep going back 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Come on people. We're talking about victims of domestic abuse here FFS. It is of course possible - indeed, it's common! - to love someone for whatever reason despite the abuse and for the victim to rationalise their mistreatment or blame themselves, refusing to see the evil in the person they love and being incapable of self-identifying as victims. It certainly does not mean that you should have 'no sympathy' for their situation. Honestly just read back what you're writing, it's on the verge of being morally repugnant. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 45 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said: Come on people. We're talking about victims of domestic abuse here FFS. It is of course possible - indeed, it's common! - to love someone for whatever reason despite the abuse and for the victim to rationalise their mistreatment or blame themselves, refusing to see the evil in the person they love and being incapable of self-identifying as victims. It certainly does not mean that you should have 'no sympathy' for their situation. Honestly just read back what you're writing, it's on the verge of being morally repugnant. Who said they should blame themselves? Please quote the person who actually said that? People have merely said why go for the bad boys in the first place? You made the choice so if your not willing to make the decision to leave them then you live with the consequences. If your afraid to leave the person because you are scared of being beat up or abused thats a completely different situation. I have seen no evidence that anyone here has said that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 45 minutes ago, Demitri_C said: Who said they should blame themselves? Please quote the person who actually said that? People have merely said why go for the bad boys in the first place? You made the choice so if your not willing to make the decision to leave them then you live with the consequences. If your afraid to leave the person because you are scared of being beat up or abused thats a completely different situation. I have seen no evidence that anyone here has said that. I didn't say you had said they should blame themselves? So I don't know what point you're getting hot under the collar about. I pointed out that victims sometimes do blame themselves for their own mistreatment, and offered that as an example of how victims may rationalise their abuse (and why it may seem to you, or anybody else looking in to a relationship, that the victim 'doesn't want to leave'). You talk about 'making the decision to leave' as if this is trivially easy - of course it may not be, for all sorts of reasons, both emotional and financial. And no, you cannot say 'you live with the consequences' - that is justifying abuse. Nobody should live with domestic abuse, regardless of your ill-informed speculation about whether they started a relationship because they like 'bad boys', which, just to be clear, you cannot possibly know. This is a serious topic, and you're treating it exceedingly trivially. Just stop. 13 hours ago, Xela said: I agree mate. There is a woman at work who always goes for the type of bloke who gives her a kicking. Now, domestic violence is appalling and inexcusable but a part of me thinks that if she stopped going for, and I quote in her words, "bad boys", then she wouldn't come into work with black eyes and broken ribs. Oh yeah, she did date a nice guy once but dumped him as he was not exciting enough. While we're on the subject, I'm concerned about this as well. The way this post is written seems to suggest, without making it quite clear, that you are aware that a colleague of yours is a victim of domestic violence, seemingly rising to the level of 'broken ribs' ()? I must stress that I'm not a lawyer, but I strongly suspect this person is a victim of crime and what has happened to her is assault or grievous bodily harm. If you actually know this is the case, or have a very strong suspicion, then you may have a legal, as well as moral, obligation to report what you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 1 hour ago, HanoiVillan said: I didn't say you had said they should blame themselves? So I don't know what point you're getting hot under the collar about. I pointed out that victims sometimes do blame themselves for their own mistreatment, and offered that as an example of how victims may rationalise their abuse (and why it may seem to you, or anybody else looking in to a relationship, that the victim 'doesn't want to leave'). You talk about 'making the decision to leave' as if this is trivially easy - of course it may not be, for all sorts of reasons, both emotional and financial. And no, you cannot say 'you live with the consequences' - that is justifying abuse. Nobody should live with domestic abuse, regardless of your ill-informed speculation about whether they started a relationship because they like 'bad boys', which, just to be clear, you cannot possibly know. This is a serious topic, and you're treating it exceedingly trivially. Just stop. While we're on the subject, I'm concerned about this as well. The way this post is written seems to suggest, without making it quite clear, that you are aware that a colleague of yours is a victim of domestic violence, seemingly rising to the level of 'broken ribs' ()? I must stress that I'm not a lawyer, but I strongly suspect this person is a victim of crime and what has happened to her is assault or grievous bodily harm. If you actually know this is the case, or have a very strong suspicion, then you may have a legal, as well as moral, obligation to report what you know. Your the one who has turned this subject into some kind of silly debate. No one has inclined this kind of abuse is acceptable and you "say why am I getting hot under the collar" but then you write I am justifying abuse? Your talking absolute nonsense. How would you feel if I accused you of saying You justify abuse??? Then you try your best to try cause trouble with Xela as well. If you read Xela post he clearly states he finds it appauling and inexcusable and in addition states that the women in question herself that the woman says the nice guy was not "exciting enough" Stop trying to cause trouble, and trying to ruin a good thread. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 11 hours ago, HanoiVillan said: While we're on the subject, I'm concerned about this as well. The way this post is written seems to suggest, without making it quite clear, that you are aware that a colleague of yours is a victim of domestic violence, seemingly rising to the level of 'broken ribs' ()? I must stress that I'm not a lawyer, but I strongly suspect this person is a victim of crime and what has happened to her is assault or grievous bodily harm. If you actually know this is the case, or have a very strong suspicion, then you may have a legal, as well as moral, obligation to report what you know. The police were involved in that incident and it went to court, but the point i was trying to (badly) make is that she's been with guys before that one and after and suffered abuse with a lot of them, which is obviously horrific, but makes me think to myself that she needs to review the type of guy she finds 'exciting'. That's not me laying any blame on her, it just seems a very unfortunate coincidence. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 She sounds like an idiot 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Trying to talk people out of their more self-destructive impulses must count as one of life's futile endeavours. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 My mum was always attracted to bad boys and there was a few times when she had black eyes. The one bloke even broke bones the once. My grandad now and again hit my gran in the early years and if the villa got beat my gran used to have to keep out of his way once he came back from the game and the kids would have to hide. I used to knock my missus about in the early days of our relationship if I was drunk and we argued. Not proud of it but I came to my senses and stopped it. Tbf though she's attacked me a few times so it works both ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted March 25, 2017 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted March 25, 2017 Hitting your partner doesn't make you a "bad boy". It makes you a word removed. 20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post hogso Posted March 25, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted March 25, 2017 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 8 hours ago, Stevo985 said: Hitting your partner doesn't make you a "bad boy". It makes you a word removed. A massive clearing in the woods I might add. we all make mistakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 Married a year today. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 9 hours ago, Stevo985 said: Hitting your partner doesn't make you a "bad boy". It makes you a word removed. It does but realising its wrong and stopping it should be credited as well 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Demitri_C said: It does but realising its wrong and stopping it should be credited as well I thought it was acceptable or should I say I thought it was acceptable for me to do it. I quickly realised it wasn't and I've not laid a finger on her For over 6 years and never will again. not proud of it but in the same breath I don't mind people judging me over it because it's only an Internet forum. Edited March 26, 2017 by Rugeley Villa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Davkaus Posted March 26, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted March 26, 2017 On 15/03/2017 at 16:37, Davkaus said: She doesn't want to wait until the date we arranged for next week, so we're going out tomorrow. Well, the vast majority of my posts in this thread have been depressing tales about me meeting crazy women, and disastrous relationships. So I'd just like to let people know that we've barely left my bed since Friday night, and I think my cock might fall off. She's a keeper 21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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