The VT Baby club

[wiggyrichard]

Its the sacrifice you make to have kids. You become rewarded in many other ways but have to accept that a large part of your life will change. For me it was a simple question, where else are we here if not to give life. I get to watch my son grown a little more every day, ill get to teach him and help him develop into a young man hopefully sharing many experiences along the way. There has to be a bit more to life than simply working 9-5 crashing down in front of the telly a few holidays and waiting to retire. Thats my take on it anyway

That is why i cant wait to be a father in 8 weeks time, well said CV.

[cheltenham_villa]

shouldnt you be starting on baby rice? ours is 5 months and doing well on his feeding. Started with a small amount of baby rice at 11 every day. After 3 days of successfully finishing his baby rice we started to try different vegetables. Puree everything and freeze in ice cube blocks. He would then have one ice cube block worth of food at 11 (so far tried corguette, peas, carrots, sweet potato) and a bit more baby rice at 6. We've got a really good book that were working through and for us its been amazing. As well as giving you a good eating plan it gives you advice on feeding technique (very important to stop them spitting it off the spoon.)

Ill find the name of the book and let you know. Best tip weve probably had is just to accept that some days he wont be interested and if he gets to a point when hes screaming for food then you havent got a chance. Routine seems the best thing.

he's getting better at eating baby rice & baby porridge.

but anything else, and his face makes the funniest expressions like "what the hell is this grossness you've put inside my mouth!"

we've done what you said & pureed & froze in ice-cubes the food.

so far we have tried carrot, Parsnip, sweet potato, banana and brocolli.

we then mix it with a bit of porridge to help take away the sharpness of the taste.

going to try peas & some other fruits next. (maybe plum?)

the book we used was The contented little baby book of weaning by gina ford

has been excellent so far for us.

[Chindie]

Its a bit silly labelling it 'sad' mate, just because you dont want kids doesnt mean its 'sad'.

Its a bit 'sad' that you think your personality and freedom is more important than bringing a life into the world and bringing it up. I find THAT 'sad'. Obviously you are not parental in the slightest.

Might just be an age thing i guess.

I'm not saying it's sad because I don't want kids, I'm saying it's sad that people give up so much that made them who they are to have kids. As Laura said you get people going from fun fierce independant... whatever, into mummy/daddy mood where their life is absolutely dominated by having a kid. They can't talk about anything else, every free moment becomes about doing this or that or the other for the baby. It's sad that a lot of people waste 18 years, at least, of their lives being like that. If more people I'd known managed to juggle being a parent and also still being pretty much the same person they were before (within reason of course) I'd see it in a better light.

But as I said, I know one person that has more or less managed it. I value people a lot and to see them become... well, shells, is quite sad. thankfully not too many of my friends have gone through it yet, and none of my very close friends. I'll wish them well when inevitably they do go through it but I'll be hoping what made them be the people I wanted to have as friends wasn't too heavily sacrificed to being a parent, as I think it'd be the death of a small part of them for a while.

[claret75]

Its the sacrifice you make to have kids. You become rewarded in many other ways but have to accept that a large part of your life will change. For me it was a simple question, where else are we here if not to give life. I get to watch my son grown a little more every day, ill get to teach him and help him develop into a young man hopefully sharing many experiences along the way. There has to be a bit more to life than simply working 9-5 crashing down in front of the telly a few holidays and waiting to retire. Thats my take on it anyway

That is why i cant wait to be a father in 8 weeks time, well said CV.

Having a child is a massive sacrifice, but as said above, is more than compensated by the happiness a kid can bring. Its no cakewalk, but well worth it in my experience. I'm actually finding the older my daughter gets, the more i'm loving it. Thats not to say i didn't enjoy being a dad when she was a baby (she's 3 now), i did, but as she's growing the interaction and understanding between me and her is getting better. I guess there's more of a bond between mother and baby at that stage.

I can 100% say that i wouldn't have my life any other way.

[wiggyrichard]

Its a bit silly labelling it 'sad' mate, just because you dont want kids doesnt mean its 'sad'.

Its a bit 'sad' that you think your personality and freedom is more important than bringing a life into the world and bringing it up. I find THAT 'sad'. Obviously you are not parental in the slightest.

Might just be an age thing i guess.

I'm not saying it's sad because I don't want kids, I'm saying it's sad that people give up so much that made them who they are to have kids. As Laura said you get people going from fun fierce independant... whatever, into mummy/daddy mood where their life is absolutely dominated by having a kid. They can't talk about anything else, every free moment becomes about doing this or that or the other for the baby. It's sad that a lot of people waste 18 years, at least, of their lives being like that. If more people I'd known managed to juggle being a parent and also still being pretty much the same person they were before (within reason of course) I'd see it in a better light.

But as I said, I know one person that has more or less managed it. I value people a lot and to see them become... well, shells, is quite sad. thankfully not too many of my friends have gone through it yet, and none of my very close friends. I'll wish them well when inevitably they do go through it but I'll be hoping what made them be the people I wanted to have as friends wasn't too heavily sacrificed to being a parent, as I think it'd be the death of a small part of them for a while.

But thats the whole idea Chind! You HAVE to be prepared to give up a hell of a lot (not all) for the sake of your child, and if your not prepared to do that then you shouldnt have kids.

Have you ever stopped to think that the reason that those friends have turned into 'shells' as you put it, is because they want to? The fact that they want to do everything they can for their child? They want to give there child the best upbringing possible?

[kidlewis]

well to be fair you have to change when you have kids, you can't go out getting pissed every weekend, smoking weed and playing xbox 4 hours a night all your life.

I guess it's called maturing. I think men can only really start to do that when they have a kid, and even then we resist it as much as possible.

the main thing is the money aspect to be honest. It's not the fact that we can't stay out whenever we like or get mashed on a whim, because we are at the age where the single people we know are so busy they have to do things in advance anyway. So we can always get my mum to have him for a night at a weekend.

a baby is the best part of £1000pm off your wage, with food, clothing, childcare, days out etc.

A sacrifice I am more than happy to do because my little boy is amazing and he is on the whole a very well behaved boy. But if I was to get given another £1000pm on top, the missus and I would definitely be going to London a lot more with or without him meeting friends and having days out.

If you want to stay independent then never have kids, unless you are absolutely minted and have no moral compass to look after your own sproglets, then just hire an army of staff and carry on.

[BillyShears]

Having children also introduced the concept that life is not just about me. That hurt a bit.

[Genie]

I wouldn't want to give up on my personality and freedom.

I certainly don't mean this as any kind of insult but a huge amount of your posts on here revolve around how depressed and unhappy with your life you are. Why don't you want to give that up?

On my own situation, I'm 28 and my wife is 27, we've been together since 18/19. We've travelled the world, partied, done loads of fantastic stuff as a couple. We both got to the point where we wanted to raise a little one. 9 weeks to go and REALLY cannot wait!

[dundeevilla]

And it does turn people, in my experience, into more or less shells of who they were. Someone I knew from school recently had a baby and every time I log into Facebook it's 50 more hateful pictures of her offspring doing nothing more than being there, followed by a few statuses that may as well amount to 'OMG! Jacks breathing on his own!... OMG! Jack just gurgled!... OMG Jack just had a shit!' It's just... eurgh. Wheres the dignity gone? Wheres the independance? Wheres what made her her, gone?

To be honest you show your immaturity with this comment Chindie. And as you say, you're only 21 so that's understandable.

People with kids don't become "shells". Having a kid is the richest experience you can have in life. Frankly , most other things pale into insignificance compared to your child. When a kids comes along you kind of understand what life is all about.

Your friend is just a proud and excited new parent. At the moment little else matters to her. Describing her pictures as "hateful" is not nice.

Once you have a baby your interest in things you used to do - going out drinking etc - all but disappear. I get offers to go out with mates etc for nights out, but to be honest I would rather be at home with my son, bathing him and putting him to bed for th night with a story, because that's what matters.

There will plenty of time for me and my wife when he is older and more independent, to do what we want to do. At the moment what we want to do is spend as much precious time with him as possible.

Maybe one day you'll understand. You've plenty of time.

[Chindie]

I wouldn't want to give up on my personality and freedom.

I certainly don't mean this as any kind of insult but a huge amount of your posts on here revolve around how depressed and unhappy with your life you are. Why don't you want to give that up?

I meant the side of me that I'm happy with - my interests, my personality when I'm being more upbeat. I wouldn't want to sacrifice that to being singleminded on a child like I've seen people do, and seemingly going by what Laura has said I'm not alone in that.

Maybe Dundee is right, I just don't get it. I don't want to. Calling the pictures hateful was me exagerrating btw.

Congrats to anyone who has decided it's for them and I hope everything turns out well. It's just not for me, I don't think. At least not for a long while yet.

EDIT - Didn't quite come across right.

[jonno_2004]

I wouldn't want to give up on my personality and freedom.

I certainly don't mean this as any kind of insult but a huge amount of your posts on here revolve around how depressed and unhappy with your life you are. Why don't you want to give that up?

On my own situation, I'm 28 and my wife is 27, we've been together since 18/19. We've travelled the world, partied, done loads of fantastic stuff as a couple. We both got to the point where we wanted to raise a little one. 9 weeks to go and REALLY cannot wait!

I hope I'm in the same situation as you in 8 years time because that is my sort of general 'life plan' at the moment.

[johnsonp]

Its the sacrifice you make to have kids. You become rewarded in many other ways but have to accept that a large part of your life will change. For me it was a simple question, where else are we here if not to give life. I get to watch my son grown a little more every day, ill get to teach him and help him develop into a young man hopefully sharing many experiences along the way. There has to be a bit more to life than simply working 9-5 crashing down in front of the telly a few holidays and waiting to retire. Thats my take on it anyway

That is why i cant wait to be a father in 8 weeks time, well said CV.

Having a child is a massive sacrifice, but as said above, is more than compensated by the happiness a kid can bring. Its no cakewalk, but well worth it in my experience. I'm actually finding the older my daughter gets, the more i'm loving it. Thats not to say i didn't enjoy being a dad when she was a baby (she's 3 now), i did, but as she's growing the interaction and understanding between me and her is getting better. I guess there's more of a bond between mother and baby at that stage.

I can 100% say that i wouldn't have my life any other way.

Exactly the same with me. My daughter is 4 in a months time and it becomes more enjoyable with each new phase of progression.

I must admit though other peoples kids bore the crap out of me so I can understand the other perspective.

[dundeevilla]

I wouldn't want to give up on my personality and freedom.

I certainly don't mean this as any kind of insult but a huge amount of your posts on here revolve around how depressed and unhappy with your life you are. Why don't you want to give that up?

I meant the side of me that I'm happy with - my interests, my personality when I'm being more upbeat. I wouldn't want to sacrifice that to being singleminded on a child like I've seen people do, and seemingly going by what Laura has said I'm not alone in that.

Maybe Dundee is right, I just don't get it. I don't want to. Calling the pictures hateful was me exagerrating btw.

Congrats to anyone who has decided it's for them and I hope everything turns out well. It's just not for me, I don't think. At least not for a long while yet.

EDIT - Didn't quite come across right.

To be honest Chindie I probably had a similar attitude to you at 21. Your outlook will change, that's for certain. That's not to say you will want kids, but Iwould be prepared to bet that you will at some stage in your life.

[wiggyrichard]

I wouldn't want to give up on my personality and freedom.

I certainly don't mean this as any kind of insult but a huge amount of your posts on here revolve around how depressed and unhappy with your life you are. Why don't you want to give that up?

I meant the side of me that I'm happy with - my interests, my personality when I'm being more upbeat. I wouldn't want to sacrifice that to being singleminded on a child like I've seen people do, and seemingly going by what Laura has said I'm not alone in that.

Maybe Dundee is right, I just don't get it. I don't want to. Calling the pictures hateful was me exagerrating btw.

Congrats to anyone who has decided it's for them and I hope everything turns out well. It's just not for me, I don't think. At least not for a long while yet.

EDIT - Didn't quite come across right.

To be honest Chindie I probably had a similar attitude to you at 21. Your outlook will change, that's for certain. That's not to say you will want kids, but Iwould be prepared to bet that you will at some stage in your life.

Yep, Dundee's right. I can see hand on heart i have never been so excited about anything in my entire life.

If i get the call just as England are about to start a penelty shoot-out in the final of the World Cup, would i leave?...i wouldnt even be bothered about phoning anyone to see if we won.

EDIT: Maybe i would after she had given birth :winkold:

[mjmooney]

I wouldn't want to give up on my personality and freedom.

I certainly don't mean this as any kind of insult but a huge amount of your posts on here revolve around how depressed and unhappy with your life you are. Why don't you want to give that up?

I meant the side of me that I'm happy with - my interests, my personality when I'm being more upbeat. I wouldn't want to sacrifice that to being singleminded on a child like I've seen people do, and seemingly going by what Laura has said I'm not alone in that.

Maybe Dundee is right, I just don't get it. I don't want to. Calling the pictures hateful was me exagerrating btw.

Congrats to anyone who has decided it's for them and I hope everything turns out well. It's just not for me, I don't think. At least not for a long while yet.

EDIT - Didn't quite come across right.

To be honest Chindie I probably had a similar attitude to you at 21. Your outlook will change, that's for certain. That's not to say you will want kids, but Iwould be prepared to bet that you will at some stage in your life.

Yep, Dundee's right. I can see hand on heart i have never been so excited about anything in my entire life.

If i get the call just as England are about to start a penelty shoot-out in the final of the World Cup, would i leave?...i wouldnt even be bothered about phoning anyone to see if we won.

EDIT: Maybe i would after she had given birth :winkold:

I've mentioned it on here before, but it's worth repeating - I was born on a Saturday morning, third round of the Cup, just before the pubs opened.

My dad was well impressed.

[AVFCLaura]

:shock:

Didn't expect this to turn into what it has, it was only just to say on my part that I would be gutted if I found out unplanned that I was expecting a child, truly gutted. And really to just add that a few situations around me have added to me being put off having children for the forseeable future. Like anything - it's not for everyone at any time and I hope it will be a massively considered decision if/when I do get to that point.

However, I am sure all of you VT expectant parents will love it, it's great you're all buzzing about it to such an extent.

(Just don't ask me to babysit. I'm kidding, I'm great with children...)

[Jellybean_25]

And it does turn people, in my experience, into more or less shells of who they were.

Wheres the dignity gone? Wheres the independance? Wheres what made her her, gone?

Utter rubbish. IMO

[Jellybean_25]

And it does turn people, in my experience, into more or less shells of who they were.

Wheres the dignity gone? Wheres the independance? Wheres what made her her, gone?

This, this and this.

I am yet to know anyone around me who has had a child and maintained that. If/when I do, I will do my very best not to turn into some glorified robotic babysitter who is totally and utterly unable to talk about anything other than my child, because that has happened to every woman I have known have a child around me, I have no idea where the intelligent, socially aware, bubbly and vivacious women I used to know went.

Its the sacrifice you make to have kids. You become rewarded in many other ways but have to accept that a large part of your life will change. For me it was a simple question, where else are we here if not to give life. I get to watch my son grown a little more every day, ill get to teach him and help him develop into a young man hopefully sharing many experiences along the way. There has to be a bit more to life than simply working 9-5 crashing down in front of the telly a few holidays and waiting to retire. Thats my take on it anyway

:!:

[avfc89]

My Dad and Mum were married at 22 And had my brother at 23 and me at 25; I wouldn't say they lost their lives (my dad certainly didn't)

[The_Lions_Roar]

I understadn chindies point of view to an extent, i think they way he's wording it is wrong though. Before my gf got pregnant unexpected 5 months ago, i could honestly say i didn't want kids for at least another 5 years, now i can't wait fo the little one to arrive. Your life does change, maybe others see it as for the worst but to yourself its the best thing ever. I'm actually looking forward to having an 'excuse' to not go out every weekend and get hammered. Don't get me wrong i love nights out with my mates but can't wait to the nights in. I know i'll be driving home that little bit faster every night after work. As someone said you can't spend your life getting drunk every weekend, life moves on. Give me a holiday away with my gf any day of the week over one with my mates. I will hope to find a mix between family and friends when the little one arrives, whether i can is another matter. I do think some people are over the top, i know someone that put a new photo on facebook when they were pregant every month, now they put at least 30 photos a month on of their child, i've stoppedf this person from appearing on my newsfeed but i wouldnt call them sad.