The VT Baby club

[BOF]

I do think some people just arent made to do it though.

A 10 minute walk through your average shopping mall would confirm that. I wonder why some people have kids if it's only to ignore them, shout at them or alternate between the 2. It's a f**king human. Treat it like one and it might behave like one.

[mjmooney]

I will be checking back on this thread over the next few years.

[cheltenham_villa]

I do think some people just arent made to do it though.

A 10 minute walk through your average shopping mall would confirm that. I wonder why some people have kids if it's only to ignore them, shout at them or alternate between the 2. It's a f**king human. Treat it like one and it might behave like one.

its not just these people though. A woman who works in my office spent years trying to have a child IVF etc. Eventually managed to and has regretted it every day since (child is now 5). Shes well educated and professional but has no idea about discipline and so has been walked over by her child since day 1. Shes admitted that her and husband will be divorced as soon as the child is off to uni as the child has driven to big a wedge between them. Some days she turns up in her husbands car, purely becuase her child told her she had to use that car and she couldnt put up with another tantrum.

[AVFCLaura]

Haha Mike. I am sure my day will come, but I just can't imagine it to be when I don't expect it, I hope it will be fully planned and at a time when I feel I am ready, willing and able. Otherwise, I will be honest in saying I'll be gutted.

I just don't forsee that being any time at all soon. I am just currently the complete opposite of maternal. I'm sure that will come with age and I fully understand how it's different when it's your own etc. etc. So we shall see. It's a firm 'no thank you' for me in the kids bracket currently.

At least you'll be able to get a lift to the Christening with your bus pass Mike

[mjmooney]

At least you'll be able to get a lift to the Christening with your bus pass Mike

I'll take that as an invitation then.

[AVFCLaura]

At least you'll be able to get a lift to the Christening with your bus pass Mike

I'll take that as an invitation then.

Of course.

[claret75]

I do think some people just arent made to do it though.

A 10 minute walk through your average shopping mall would confirm that. I wonder why some people have kids if it's only to ignore them, shout at them or alternate between the 2. It's a f**king human. Treat it like one and it might behave like one.

This is very true. It's sad for the kids involved, but some people have kids to improve their benefits. Selfish beyond belief.

[wiggyrichard]

I do think some people just arent made to do it though.

A 10 minute walk through your average shopping mall would confirm that. I wonder why some people have kids if it's only to ignore them, shout at them or alternate between the 2. It's a f**king human. Treat it like one and it might behave like one.

This is very true. It's sad for the kids involved, but some people have kids to improve their benefits. Selfish beyond belief.

A lot (not all) of young young mothers ie. under 18 IMO have kids as some sort of fashion accessory to parade in front of there mates and its great until they cant just leave the baby with their mom while they chav it with their pals!

Or am i completely wrong and being very stereotypical?

[TheWalletInspector]

I do think some people just arent made to do it though.

A 10 minute walk through your average shopping mall would confirm that. I wonder why some people have kids if it's only to ignore them, shout at them or alternate between the 2. It's a f**king human. Treat it like one and it might behave like one.

This is very true. It's sad for the kids involved, but some people have kids to improve their benefits. Selfish beyond belief.

A lot (not all) of young young mothers ie. under 18 IMO have kids as some sort of fashion accessory to parade in front of there mates and its great until they cant just leave the baby with their mom while they chav it with their pals!

Or am i completely wrong and being very stereotypical?

Sounds like you're being very stereotypical tbh.

[kidlewis]

I do think some people just arent made to do it though.

A 10 minute walk through your average shopping mall would confirm that. I wonder why some people have kids if it's only to ignore them, shout at them or alternate between the 2. It's a f**king human. Treat it like one and it might behave like one.

This is very true. It's sad for the kids involved, but some people have kids to improve their benefits. Selfish beyond belief.

A lot (not all) of young young mothers ie. under 18 IMO have kids as some sort of fashion accessory to parade in front of there mates and its great until they cant just leave the baby with their mom while they chav it with their pals!

Or am i completely wrong and being very stereotypical?

Sounds like you're being very stereotypical tbh.

well any comment like that is stereotypical. Walk through Coventry between 11am and 4pm on a weekday and it's basically fact.

[wiggyrichard]

I do think some people just arent made to do it though.

A 10 minute walk through your average shopping mall would confirm that. I wonder why some people have kids if it's only to ignore them, shout at them or alternate between the 2. It's a f**king human. Treat it like one and it might behave like one.

This is very true. It's sad for the kids involved, but some people have kids to improve their benefits. Selfish beyond belief.

A lot (not all) of young young mothers ie. under 18 IMO have kids as some sort of fashion accessory to parade in front of there mates and its great until they cant just leave the baby with their mom while they chav it with their pals!

Or am i completely wrong and being very stereotypical?

Sounds like you're being very stereotypical tbh.

Fair enough...i read back what i wrote and thought to myself ''thats a bit harsh to be fair Rich!''

My bad :oops:

Its just that at that age i dont feel anyone is mentally ready to look after a child. IMO of course.

[Chindie]

I will be checking back on this thread over the next few years.

I hope you're intending to be waiting for a while Mike, in my case especially! Going on Laura's 35 rule, it'll be 14 years... Hopefully more. Lots more. Like indefinitely.

But yeah I more or less agree exactly with what Laura said. It's just something I can see myself wanting to do. I don't like kids, I've never been a kid person, and my patience frankly isn't long enough I don't think to manage being a dad. Everyone that knows me knows this. My parents have said it's lucky my sister had kids because my brother is unlikely to have any and if I do they'll be shocked.

And it does turn people, in my experience, into more or less shells of who they were. Someone I knew from school recently had a baby and every time I log into Facebook it's 50 more hateful pictures of her offspring doing nothing more than being there, followed by a few statuses that may as well amount to 'OMG! Jacks breathing on his own!... OMG! Jack just gurgled!... OMG Jack just had a shit!' It's just... eurgh. Wheres the dignity gone? Wheres the independance? Wheres what made her her, gone?

Thankfully I'm only 21 so I've got years before I even have to contemplate it, and perhaps it'd be even weirder if at this age I actually actively wanted to have children - after all my life's ahead of me. But I can't quite see it myself - I suppose it's easier to do when you're single.

[Condimentalist]

I will be checking back on this thread over the next few years.

I hope you're intending to be waiting for a while Mike, in my case especially! Going on Laura's 35 rule, it'll be 14 years... Hopefully more. Lots more. Like indefinitely.

But yeah I more or less agree exactly with what Laura said. It's just something I can see myself wanting to do. I don't like kids, I've never been a kid person, and my patience frankly isn't long enough I don't think to manage being a dad. Everyone that knows me knows this. My parents have said it's lucky my sister had kids because my brother is unlikely to have any and if I do they'll be shocked.

And it does turn people, in my experience, into more or less shells of who they were. Someone I knew from school recently had a baby and every time I log into Facebook it's 50 more hateful pictures of her offspring doing nothing more than being there, followed by a few statuses that may as well amount to 'OMG! Jacks breathing on his own!... OMG! Jack just gurgled!... OMG Jack just had a shit!' It's just... eurgh. Wheres the dignity gone? Wheres the independance? Wheres what made her her, gone?

Thankfully I'm only 21 so I've got years before I even have to contemplate it, and perhaps it'd be even weirder if at this age I actually actively wanted to have children - after all my life's ahead of me. But I can't quite see it myself - I suppose it's easier to do when you're single.

Interesting Chindie.

I can definitely see myself wanting kinds in the future, but not for another 10-15 years (I'm the same age as you).

Perhaps this is an unfair comment, and maybe the parents on here can tell us, but it seems to me like as soon as you have kids, you stop living for yourself and start living for them. It's quite a change, and certainly not one I could consider at this age. If I'm settled by my mid-thirties though, I may feel differently, because I do see a life-enriching capacity there too.

For the forseeable future I'd rather focus on what I'm going to do, which can be difficult enough, but at least I'm free to make the choices.

[wiggyrichard]

And it does turn people, in my experience, into more or less shells of who they were. Someone I knew from school recently had a baby and every time I log into Facebook it's 50 more hateful pictures of her offspring doing nothing more than being there, followed by a few statuses that may as well amount to 'OMG! Jacks breathing on his own!... OMG! Jack just gurgled!... OMG Jack just had a shit!' It's just... eurgh. Wheres the dignity gone? Wheres the independance? Wheres what made her her, gone?

.

Its just being proud of your child mate, ive got just over 8 weeks to wait till the missis drops and i cant wait. Im not saying im going to plaster my facebook page with 100's pictures and status updates about my child soiling its nappy and such like, but i will be extremely proud about becoming a father, in truth i cant wait and even the thought of it puts a huge smile on my face. You think its 'eurgh' because you dont like kids which you have admitted. I will still be me, only a father.

In response to Pat, im 27 as is my missis. And i agree everyone should live their life to the full and not have children until they can give that child their undivided attention and be there and support that child with whatever it needs.

Ive lived my life and done everything ive wanted to do and more (trust me ive enjoyed myself 8) ) so im ready now.

[AVFCLaura]

And it does turn people, in my experience, into more or less shells of who they were.

Wheres the dignity gone? Wheres the independance? Wheres what made her her, gone?

This, this and this.

I am yet to know anyone around me who has had a child and maintained that. If/when I do, I will do my very best not to turn into some glorified robotic babysitter who is totally and utterly unable to talk about anything other than my child, because that has happened to every woman I have known have a child around me, I have no idea where the intelligent, socially aware, bubbly and vivacious women I used to know went.

[wiggyrichard]

And it does turn people, in my experience, into more or less shells of who they were.

Wheres the dignity gone? Wheres the independance? Wheres what made her her, gone?

This, this and this.

I am yet to know anyone around me who has had a child and maintained that. If/when I do, I will do my very best not to turn into some glorified robotic babysitter who is totally and utterly unable to talk about anything other than my child, because that has happened to every woman I have known have a child around me, I have no idea where the intelligent, socially aware, bubbly and vivacious women I used to know went.

Bless you both

[ender4]

shouldnt you be starting on baby rice? ours is 5 months and doing well on his feeding. Started with a small amount of baby rice at 11 every day. After 3 days of successfully finishing his baby rice we started to try different vegetables. Puree everything and freeze in ice cube blocks. He would then have one ice cube block worth of food at 11 (so far tried corguette, peas, carrots, sweet potato) and a bit more baby rice at 6. We've got a really good book that were working through and for us its been amazing. As well as giving you a good eating plan it gives you advice on feeding technique (very important to stop them spitting it off the spoon.)

Ill find the name of the book and let you know. Best tip weve probably had is just to accept that some days he wont be interested and if he gets to a point when hes screaming for food then you havent got a chance. Routine seems the best thing.

he's getting better at eating baby rice & baby porridge.

but anything else, and his face makes the funniest expressions like "what the hell is this grossness you've put inside my mouth!"

we've done what you said & pureed & froze in ice-cubes the food.

so far we have tried carrot, Parsnip, sweet potato, banana and brocolli.

we then mix it with a bit of porridge to help take away the sharpness of the taste.

going to try peas & some other fruits next. (maybe plum?)

[Chindie]

I only know of 1 person it hasn't happened to, and thats my sister. She's had 3 kids, isn't the most mumsy person in the world (which is probably a factor in not turning into the glorified baby sitter Laura says above) and is still pretty much the same person she ever was. She's the kind of person that is so bloody minded and fiercely independant though I don't think anything could make her change.

Everyone else I've known becomes a different person whose life revolves around their kid. Even blokes. It's quite sad, really.

I wouldn't want to give up on my personality and freedom.

[cheltenham_villa]

And it does turn people, in my experience, into more or less shells of who they were.

Wheres the dignity gone? Wheres the independance? Wheres what made her her, gone?

This, this and this.

I am yet to know anyone around me who has had a child and maintained that. If/when I do, I will do my very best not to turn into some glorified robotic babysitter who is totally and utterly unable to talk about anything other than my child, because that has happened to every woman I have known have a child around me, I have no idea where the intelligent, socially aware, bubbly and vivacious women I used to know went.

Its the sacrifice you make to have kids. You become rewarded in many other ways but have to accept that a large part of your life will change. For me it was a simple question, where else are we here if not to give life. I get to watch my son grown a little more every day, ill get to teach him and help him develop into a young man hopefully sharing many experiences along the way. There has to be a bit more to life than simply working 9-5 crashing down in front of the telly a few holidays and waiting to retire. Thats my take on it anyway

[wiggyrichard]

Everyone else I've known becomes a different person whose life revolves around their kid. Even blokes. It's quite sad, really.

I wouldn't want to give up on my personality and freedom.

Its a bit silly labelling it 'sad' mate, just because you dont want kids doesnt mean its 'sad'.

Its a bit 'sad' that you think your personality and freedom is more important than bringing a life into the world and bringing it up. I find THAT 'sad'. Obviously you are not parental in the slightest.

Might just be an age thing i guess.