BOF Posted March 1, 2017 Moderator Share Posted March 1, 2017 3 minutes ago, Davkaus said: You'd get away with disgusting food you could plausibly be eating yourself. If it's deemed a 'trap' though, you'd be in some trouble. Your 'secret sauce' idea is probably a no too It hasn't been mentioned here, it's just that when this topic comes up people tend to suggest laxatives and stuff, which is definitely a bad idea. Yeah you're no doubt right, and if we were to look at an absolute best case scenario on the part of the thief, then it might be someone who cannot afford to feed themselves properly. Highly unlikely, but possible. Far more likely that it's someone who gets a kick out of getting away with something illicit or getting something for nothing. In the latter case I'd have absolutely no problem trapping them with disgusting food, but obviously not with dangerous food. Peanuts anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 A surströmming and durian sandwich ought to do the trick. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted March 1, 2017 Author VT Supporter Share Posted March 1, 2017 40 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: Food dye is the way to go. They'll eat it, it's relatively bland and they won't know they've eaten it, it gives you who dun it straight away. Best added to leaves so it doesn't soak into bread etc. That's perfect. The pots have beetroot in them so you wouldn't even notice if the dye was a similar colour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted March 1, 2017 Author VT Supporter Share Posted March 1, 2017 4 minutes ago, BOF said: Yeah you're no doubt right, and if we were to look at an absolute best case scenario on the part of the thief, then it might be someone who cannot afford to feed themselves properly. Highly unlikely, but possible. Far more likely that it's someone who gets a kick out of getting away with something illicit or getting something for nothing. In the latter case I'd have absolutely no problem trapping them with disgusting food, but obviously not with dangerous food. Peanuts anyone? I can guarantee there's nobody in my GF's office who can't afford to feed themselves. It's probably some fatty on a diet so they don't bring any food in but then can't resist the munchies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mandy Lifeboats Posted March 1, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted March 1, 2017 A colleague of mine once made a chocolate cake with a couple of bars of Ex-Lax chocolate. The thief was soon apparent to all. He tried to claim he'd been "poisoned". It was pointed out that if someone was constipated they can take the relevant medication in any way they wish. He left shortly afterwards. It's still talked about fondly as "Code Brown". 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 1 hour ago, Davkaus said: FWIW, even though they're stealing, if you put food in the fridge that makes someone ill, you're potentially comitting a criminal act. I'd say I actually like the taste of cat food. Prove I don't ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 1, 2017 Moderator Share Posted March 1, 2017 3 minutes ago, Demitri_C said: I'd say I actually like the taste of cat food. Prove I don't ! I'm sure you've eaten a hotdog at some point. Or a Findus lasagne 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 49 minutes ago, BOF said: I'm sure you've eaten a hotdog at some point. Or a Findus lasagne I have to admit I am not a fan of either but I do think I may have eaten dog or cat at a Chinese restaurant in Cyprus before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted March 1, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted March 1, 2017 On 28/02/2017 at 14:44, lapal_fan said: Probably one for the confessions thread, but I once masturbated to pornography depicting to fully consenting adults in the missionary position.. Crazy 2 minutes that was. hashtagsoftcoreforthewinningoftheinternet Dirty perve. Have you got the link? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted March 1, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) 6 hours ago, Demitri_C said: Anyone had an episode where someone was eating other people's lunch at work? I used to bring my own milk in because I hated the free long life crap they used to provide. I used to mark it very clearly with black marker but it always used to get nicked even when I sent round snotty emails about it. Caught a guy using it once and when confronted him he swore it was the first time. It annoyed me because I was spending my own money, little as it was. If you want real milk go buy your own like I took the time to do which was what pissed me off more. It used to get me exactly through the week so when people nicked it I had to make another journey to the shops, so it was the inconvenience more than anything. But yes, casual theft from "your own" is a heinous crime. Edited March 1, 2017 by sidcow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 A colleague once went to get his lunch from the fridge, opened it up and someone had taken a bite of it and put it back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) As far as I'm concerned trapping a thief with a PLJCF (Poo, Lettuce, Jizz, Cat Food) sandwich is absolutely fitting. From a legal perspective I understand, but morally I find it perfectly acceptable, nay, imperative. Cant stand behaviour like that and the dirty thieves would get what they deserved. Edited March 1, 2017 by Ginko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 2 hours ago, Xela said: A colleague once went to get his lunch from the fridge, opened it up and someone had taken a bite of it and put it back! See that's even worse, not only am I am gonna take a bite out of your lunch I am going to demonstrate to you I didn't like it either. Some people 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Someone from my office is leaving on Friday, I'll be really sad to see them go. They used to have the best sandwiches. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rob182 Posted March 2, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted March 2, 2017 I've been off VT for a while, but I'd just like to bring up the dick slapping/ farting/ clapping conversation briefly, as I feel I could shed light on a few things! 1) I was the person who 'overheard' the conversation (as I sit next to the accused dick-slapper). 2) I've never seen him do it (as in, I've never looked directly at IT), but I often travel with him up and down the country for work, so many a time I've been stood at the urinal, heard a noise and though "is that... slapping!?" 3) Our work place is one of those casual, often boys-club-like, places where shit and piss can be the subject of the conversation, so asking the accused wouldn't usually be out of place. 4) The guy in question is about 7ft tall and 2ft wide, so maybe its common place in the giant world to whack a giant penis off your giant leg, as a normal shake just won't do? 5) Lapalfan.... He is on the list that I gave you for my stag do, so you might get to witness it first hand (I suppose it depends on how drunk you get) 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 1 hour ago, Rob182 said: I've been off VT for a while, but I'd just like to bring up the dick slapping/ farting/ clapping conversation briefly, as I feel I could shed light on a few things! 1) I was the person who 'overheard' the conversation (as I sit next to the accused dick-slapper). 2) I've never seen him do it (as in, I've never looked directly at IT), but I often travel with him up and down the country for work, so many a time I've been stood at the urinal, heard a noise and though "is that... slapping!?" 3) Our work place is one of those casual, often boys-club-like, places where shit and piss can be the subject of the conversation, so asking the accused wouldn't usually be out of place. 4) The guy in question is about 7ft tall and 2ft wide, so maybe its common place in the giant world to whack a giant penis off your giant leg, as a normal shake just won't do? 5) Lapalfan.... He is on the list that I gave you for my stag do, so you might get to witness it first hand (I suppose it depends on how drunk you get) lapal_fan is your best man!? They say a man can be judged by the company he keeps, you know? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) I believe Paddywhack runs in that circle too, which only serves to reinforce your point Edited March 2, 2017 by Ginko 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 1 hour ago, Rob182 said: 5) Lapalfan.... He is on the list that I gave you for my stag do, so you might get to witness it first hand (I suppose it depends on how drunk you get) I shall make sure I go to the bathroom with him. Don't worry VT, I will upload video footage and debunk this myth.. For you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Unfortunately, dickslapper is unable to attend the stag do. But it's not a myth, it's a real beast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 1 hour ago, Rob182 said: 1) I was the person who 'overheard' the conversation (as I sit next to the accused dick-slapper). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts