Spoony Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 Post something that has happened in your life but post it without any explanation, expansion or context. Example 1: I once avoided getting robbed by a Bulgarian prostitute by singing about German party huts and dancing. Example 2: Inspector Morse once watched me in silence whilst I danced the twist in slow motion. Example 3: I once had sex with a Finnish girl to Finnish reggae music because I can do a passable impression of Ewan McGreggor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted March 3, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted March 3, 2014 I made my sister cry by showing her the severed head of a kitten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islingtonclaret Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Rhys Ifans (plus two Stringfellows high class hookers) sang Welsh hymns to me and ex in hotel room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I caught a shark with a drop line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponky Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I was tongue kissed by a filthy beggar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 My best mate at the time once asked me to wank him off 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 This is going to be another confession thread isn't it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post hogso Posted March 4, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) These stories don't seem to be very out of context. They just seem short. Let me try. I'll put the context in spoilers Sometimes it just gushes out and sometimes it proper squirts out. I'd say it only goes about 1ft but its better than nothing. Fair play to her she learnt herself how to do it because she knew I loved it. Anyway check cytherea out on the net. She is the queen Edited March 4, 2014 by hogso 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 It is if Rugeley is involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) I helped the old lady next door fill her crack, took me a while but she was pleased. She wants me to go round and sort her back doors next time. Edited March 4, 2014 by dodgyknees 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 One of them complained because the Shere Khan wasn't being read properly. The mother wolf character was really good though. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) I once handed in some biology homework prefaced with a note "Poke my intestines with your creamy dripping phallus" Edited March 4, 2014 by Eames Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted March 4, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted March 4, 2014 After being photographed for the evening mail, Matt yanked the polystyrene ski from under me, I went down, was stuck upside-down and had to be fished out by a lifeguard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I tied a stuffed cat to our front door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adw95 Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I told a girl she had a hairy crack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) I asked to sniff one girls ass after sex yesterday. She said no. Edited March 4, 2014 by Voinjama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjaacckk91 Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) I am about to explode it's all my sisters fault Edited March 4, 2014 by jjaacckk91 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I asked to sniff one girls ass after sex yesterday. She said no. You're doing it wrong. It's stories OUT of context. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 There were twelve of them to begin with but after only twenty seven minutes, only three remained alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I once witnessed a student lose his virginity in front of hundreds of people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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