GarethRDR Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Your own shampoo bottle, I hope! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frobisher Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 "What now, Dad?" "Now we burn the bastard." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Then Doug Ellis said to me "Well Richard, once your as capable with your left foot as you are with your right we will have to see what we can sort out won't we, Bozzy is in the shop, go and say hello". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ender4 Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 And finally, after what seemed like an hour of giggling, I managed to climax into the shampoo bottle. Your own shampoo bottle, I hope! i'd hope not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Then Doug Ellis said to me "Well Richard, once your as capable with your left foot as you are with your right we will have to see what we can sort out won't we, Bozzy is in the shop, go and say hello". I see Doug's grammar is pretty poor 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 I got pepper-sprayed by a forty-something year old Moroccan man. I once considered what lie I was going to tell everyone to avoid going to jail for drowning my girlfriend. I once gave an ad libbed speech to a room full of native Ghanaians with HIV about the importance of wearing suncream. I was once driven into the middle of no where by some Thai men, who demanded money from me. I was extremely stoned at the time. I made a German girl cry because I told her I didn't have a duck in my spacesuit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qwpzxjor1 Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 My friend's mother had her suitcase, containing her dead dog, stolen from her at a London tube station. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 I made a German girl cry because I told her I didn't have a duck in my spacesuit Ihr Raumanzug hatte nicht eine Ente drin?! Lieber Gott. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Back on topic... By this point, I was up to 4 giraffes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Back on topic... By this point, I was up to 4 giraffes. I must interject here. That's not a story. If the thread was called, 'say any old bollocks', that would be more than suitable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 I can attest to the validity of Gareth's statement. I suspect there are three others who can too. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 My friend's mother had her suitcase, containing her dead dog, stolen from her at a London tube station. Excellent. Not have a garden? En route to the taxidermist? Insane? And finally, after what seemed like an hour of giggling, I managed to climax into the shampoo bottle. We know this story, you big bully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 4, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted June 4, 2014 Of course, I was very... very...... drunk. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Then we paid 20 quid for a small block of wood in clingfilm, whilst a naked jesus carrying a cross looked on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qwpzxjor1 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 We blame my brother for the flooding of Passau in 2002. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted June 5, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted June 5, 2014 There was an audible gasp from the 17 assembled Swazi natives as the cork effortlessly popped out of the bottle, then a moment of silence before they all chanted in unison "again, again, again". Imagining me in a pool of my own blood, behind the bush, Paolo gunned the engine, ready for a fast escape while I complimented the Mozambican officer on his excellent English. Both taken from my memoirs, the chapter entitled "African Adventures" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 And as I thought things couldn't get any weirder I noticed Jane Krakowski (Jenna Maroney on 30 Rock) was laughing at me, as the armed policemen frogmarched me , handcuffed, past her in the departure lounge. True story . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrinityRoadSteps Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 I have killed a man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts