What is your experience of mental health?

[AvfcRigo82]

6 minutes ago, kurtsimonw said:

I know people try to be supportive, but I don't find it helpful when people essentially tell me "You're wrong. You should be perfectly happy this way". My issues do stem from the lack of female companionship, and the mental problems that causes, but what's wrong with me wanting that? It's a real basic human need. It's all the more annoying when I'm told that by someone in a relationship. Either they're happy in the relationship, or know they'd feel worse being single. It's like there's a ready made excuse against me too. If I actively try to meet people on apps or talk to people in real life or go speed dating, it's "Maybe you're trying to hard?". If I do nothing "You're not going to find someone if you don't put yourself out there".

And this is where acceptance has got me. At the weekend I just thought "**** it. If I'm that repellent to the opposite sex, so be it." Monday was shit, I barely got through it. And I've been in bed pretty much since Monday night, and still am. Because what's the point of accepting I'm just going to live out this same, boring, pointless existence of a day over and over again? I literally may as well not be here. That's 2 days of not being paid, which I really can't afford, but I am struggling to see the point.

I have never really opened up on VillaTalk about certain personal circumstances I have ever been through, not through shame but just not really having the energy to go into it all or ever felt the need I suppose.  As for your circumstamces mate, You can only do with what you feel comfortable doing.

I have been reading your posts over the course of the last few months and this female thing is really getting to you isn't it?

Low self esteem with all the other things you have going on too combines it and makes you feel you're at a spaghetti junction in your mind in a way?. - No matter what you do or try it just don't feel like it's happening?

I relate to you as I was/have been in the exact same position in the course of the last 12-14 months.  I had came from a 10yr relationship after being screwed over,  to losing a job, to landing up homeless and a load of other shit in between.

Yeah I had days like you have. All the questions in your mind, whats the point in the life etc etc. Somedays I was waking up and felt like a kick in the bollocks just having to make the effort to get out off the makeshift sofa to try and get a cup of tea. No motivation, No get up and go, my mojo had gone on vacation.   

Okay alot of events had also transpired in my life in the 5 years prior, leading up to 2018 that was to be the candle on the cake. 

In 2014 I was 32 yrs old. In the April I lost my father,  2015 I lost my grandmother (mum's mother) then 4 months later my Mother also passed away too. In that time I also lost a work mate through a drug overdose and also a family friend which was my dad's best friend of over 60yrs also passed away. I lost the business I had built from scratch in 2010 that i'd been running for 4 years only due to dealing with everything outside of it  - My partner of 6 years at this point was as much support as a set of Jelly stilts. To add, My older brother and sister screwed me out of a 3 bed semi detached house 2016 - wiping out £90k of potential assets in the process!

{Villa also relegated somewhere in that time frame of events}

What a box of chocolates I got, still don't recall breaking any mirrors anywhere though.

For years prior to 2010 I had been in and out of counselling for minor depression and anxiety but nothing ever really helped as such, I have tried a few forms of Anti Depressants etc but nothing takes to me and it's worse rather than better, so I have been tackiing everything head on really and never got any proper bereavement counselling for the loss I went through. Still to this day.

I have tried a private counsellor, Mind and also Wellbeing but they have not been very effective and the course is over before the race has even got going with these people.

Have I felt suicidal and questioned bye bye, Hard to believe but yes I have - On more than a few occasions too. I seen no way out, nothing improving, nothing changing, will it ever get better? I was done mentality. I was at the bottom of the well with no light in sight at the top and no ladder to climb to get back up with.

If I am being honest the one drug and medicine that has been the most effective thing though this entire journey is my 8yr old little girl. She is the reason I am still here and she was that light in that dark tunnel - I was just too blinded by my own shit to see it.

One day something in me clicked and I guess I slapped myself in the face, took the bull by the horns and vowed to do something about the shit I had found myself in, all while reminding myself who I am and what I should be all whilst starring at my daughter. 

I took measures and pestered charities, councils, shelters - mostly nothing or not suitable for my daughter. 

Whilst taking 10 mile round bike rides every morning, strolls to the beach (rare when I could get back down there), listening to music, designing shit on a computer, studying/learning, house searching - I just had to keep active and busy and focused - away from the shit my mind was focusing on instead.

Fortunately, through the dog with a bone attitude, I was walking along to town one day in March this year and whilst cutting through this estate I seen the contents of a house being unloaded. Long story short I made a few enquiries, negotiated with the landlord and we struck a deal. I moved in April this year.

The house is private rent - only choice I had given the circumstances and criteria I was in - single man/lone parent and homeless - don't even think of visiting an estate agent.

- I was no longer on any electrol roll and hadn't been for 12 months plus no job, my credit rating was shit and a bit of debt thanks to that glorious ex. - No one would touch me with a banjo with the very limited funds I had and so A hostel was all that was available to an alternative of a house share with 3 recovering drug addicts! 

Okay, So this house had a downside, it was such a shithole that it wasn't fit enough for a Rat to sleep in,  Although to me, it was better than a sofa, a car, a tent, a hostel or a shared tooting gallery.

It was a place I could have my daughter and I seen through the shithole that it was and pictured what I WAS going to make it within 10 minutes of walking round it. The house needed gutted everywhere. 

On a shoe string budget, reclaiming and upcycling where possible I have 85% transformed the house to a liveable standard (whilst going easy as I am only renting after all).

{Villa promoted back to the Premier League in this time frame}

My next stage is to now start the new business (penned and planned while in a dark place but keeping busy) and kick on to the next stage from there. Sustainability for 12 months and build up a new Credit Rating etc.

My overall goal. Maintain what I have so far recovered to build and build everything up where possible gradually. The ultimate goal is to establish the business and look into re-locating back to the coast by next summer.

No room for a woman in sight for me and I am not in the transfer market for one either. A few loans may be in order but I am no longer commiting to anything that cost me a fortune. 

@kurtsimonw I think you need to try and change your mindset if you can and give yourself a motivation a little bit - what can you offer a woman right now? Why is a woman so important? What are you doing to make a woman want you? Why should she choose you over the 1000's of others - give them a reason - but for the right reasons.

Have you ever done/considered an escort to try and help you kick things off on the women esteem front or any other confidence building ideas.  I have learned in some things that it won't come to you but you have to go and get it. 

What do you want? What are you going to do about achieving that? I hope some of that makes sense.

Closing on this I would like to say a big thank you to many VTers who do know what has been going on outside of the VT screen and also thank you to @NurembergVillan for your help advice and support etc. It is very much appreciated.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this if you have got this far, apologies to you if you haven't.   UTV

[Chindie]

9 hours ago, Skruff said:

Sorry for all the question Chindie. I doubt my questions and ranting offers any help. I'm just curious whether you're getting sufficient help for the levels of anxiety you're experiencing right now? Have you had any second opinions? Got in touch with a psychiatrist that specialises in anxiety disorders? 

How did they follow-up when you were experiencing difficulties completing the task they were giving you? 

There's little point in giving you homework to go buy bread. If the main issue is getting out of the house/car. You need to be able to cope with A and B, before you can start tackling problem C?

Regarding the post office. What made you turn back towards your car? Oncoming anxiety attack, or fear of the anxiety attacks themselves? 

When I was talking about acceptance. I was talking in the lines of working with the anxiety, accepting it's there, not running from it. Learn not to fear it. Invite it in, observe and experience. See that it has a start, begging and a end. That you get thru them(the panic attacks). To work on applying coping skills you've learned when you start experiencing the anxiety instead of using avoidance. Gradually increasing the exposure as you improve. That sort of thing. 

Stay strong in there pal. You'll be able to pull yourself out of this rabbit hole eventually. Even if it feels hopeless at the moment, keep your hope up.

Questions are fine, at this point I can't say I'm bothered to hide much.

I've only ever been to my GP about it. I've seen various people at the GP, but they usually just have the same result. I've never seen a psychiatrist.

The therapist basically just reiterated that though I struggled I was often succeeding in doing these things and I needed to just push on and continue. 

At the post office trip I was extremely anxious I guess. The anxiety was building and I basically just kept aborting the trip, even if only for a few seconds. The fear side of things is the being caught short, so there's anxiety about that. Right now for instance, I know on the next couple of hours I'll need to go get my car grin the MOT. It's a couple of minutes walk away. My stomach is a mess and I'm dreading it. 

I've had this for many years and been able up work through out before now. The job I just lost had me in the city every day and often traveling around the country. I struggled, though nobody would know, but I did it. And then 2 years ago it got worse and worse, and then 18 months ago it broke me completely. To the extent as I say I'm having pretty much daily considerations of topping myself eventually.

[kurtsimonw]

11 hours ago, AvfcRigo82 said:

I know you've mentioned some of those things to me before, and it's shit. You've been through a lot, and well done for having the strength to come through it all, and the focus and positivity to help you along the way. 

This is where I always feel shit. People have far more reason to be depressed, far more shit going on. 

 

11 hours ago, AvfcRigo82 said:

@kurtsimonw I think you need to try and change your mindset if you can and give yourself a motivation a little bit - what can you offer a woman right now? Why is a woman so important? What are you doing to make a woman want you? Why should she choose you over the 1000's of others - give them a reason - but for the right reasons.

I've been depressed since about 15/16 years old. At that point it's never about money, or a career, it's social. I struggled with friends, and even moreso with girls. 

Fast forward 15 years, and to have still not had a girlfriend is not normal. Yes, I did have a girl like me, but she ran so far the other way I hardly feel good about it. These last 15 years have just shown me that I'm ugly, boring and unlikeable. So no, I don't really have anything to offer anyone. Put me in a room with just one other guy, forget a thousand, and the other guy would likely have more to offer. 

But, the happiest I've ever been was with my ex. And it's not just a case of being a bit happier. Absolutely every aspect of my life was immeasurably better. The quality of sleep, the general contentment, how much I enjoyed going to work knowing I was building something for us, for her. I was just happy, every day was so easy. 

Now I've spent the last 50 hours in bed. Can't eat. Can't sleep. Can't work. People do tell me relationships aren't everything. But most of those people are in relationships. The ones that aren't are actively trying to find out. There's a reason for that. 

As for an escort, no thanks. If anything it'll make things worse. I want to be wanted. I don't want to have to pay for attention. 

[AvfcRigo82]

46 minutes ago, kurtsimonw said:

I've been depressed since about 15/16 years old. At that point it's never about money, or a career, it's social. I struggled with friends, and even moreso with girls. 

These last 15 years have just shown me that I'm ugly, boring and unlikeable. So no, I don't really have anything to offer anyone. Put me in a room with just one other guy, forget a thousand, and the other guy would likely have more to offer. 

But, the happiest I've ever been was with my ex. And it's not just a case of being a bit happier. Absolutely every aspect of my life was immeasurably better. The quality of sleep, the general contentment, how much I enjoyed going to work knowing I was building something for us, for her. I was just happy, every day was so easy. 

As for an escort, no thanks. If anything it'll make things worse. I want to be wanted.

I know you mentioned speed dating and sorry if I have missed this but what about the other end of the scale and try dating apps/sites. (-Not Sinder!).

E-harmony, Match, Elite Singles etc. are more in the direction you need to take. After a quick search those 3 claim to be the best in the direction you could take if you chose to give that a try?.

They appear to be more on the compassionate scale rather than just a case of swipe, f***, see ya around!. That wouldn't do your already dented perception of intimacy within women any good.

Give those 3 a browse, see what you think, see how you feel. What is there to lose if you haven't tried already?

 

[Xela]

On 10/07/2019 at 11:24, AvfcRigo82 said:

I have never really opened up on VillaTalk about certain personal circumstances I have ever been through, not through shame but just not really having the energy to go into it all or ever felt the need I suppose.  As for your circumstamces mate, You can only do with what you feel comfortable doing.

I have been reading your posts over the course of the last few months and this female thing is really getting to you isn't it?

Low self esteem with all the other things you have going on too combines it and makes you feel you're at a spaghetti junction in your mind in a way?. - No matter what you do or try it just don't feel like it's happening?

I relate to you as I was/have been in the exact same position in the course of the last 12-14 months.  I had came from a 10yr relationship after being screwed over,  to losing a job, to landing up homeless and a load of other shit in between.

Yeah I had days like you have. All the questions in your mind, whats the point in the life etc etc. Somedays I was waking up and felt like a kick in the bollocks just having to make the effort to get out off the makeshift sofa to try and get a cup of tea. No motivation, No get up and go, my mojo had gone on vacation.   

Okay alot of events had also transpired in my life in the 5 years prior, leading up to 2018 that was to be the candle on the cake. 

In 2014 I was 32 yrs old. In the April I lost my father,  2015 I lost my grandmother (mum's mother) then 4 months later my Mother also passed away too. In that time I also lost a work mate through a drug overdose and also a family friend which was my dad's best friend of over 60yrs also passed away. I lost the business I had built from scratch in 2010 that i'd been running for 4 years only due to dealing with everything outside of it  - My partner of 6 years at this point was as much support as a set of Jelly stilts. To add, My older brother and sister screwed me out of a 3 bed semi detached house 2016 - wiping out £90k of potential assets in the process!

{Villa also relegated somewhere in that time frame of events}

What a box of chocolates I got, still don't recall breaking any mirrors anywhere though.

For years prior to 2010 I had been in and out of counselling for minor depression and anxiety but nothing ever really helped as such, I have tried a few forms of Anti Depressants etc but nothing takes to me and it's worse rather than better, so I have been tackiing everything head on really and never got any proper bereavement counselling for the loss I went through. Still to this day.

I have tried a private counsellor, Mind and also Wellbeing but they have not been very effective and the course is over before the race has even got going with these people.

Have I felt suicidal and questioned bye bye, Hard to believe but yes I have - On more than a few occasions too. I seen no way out, nothing improving, nothing changing, will it ever get better? I was done mentality. I was at the bottom of the well with no light in sight at the top and no ladder to climb to get back up with.

If I am being honest the one drug and medicine that has been the most effective thing though this entire journey is my 8yr old little girl. She is the reason I am still here and she was that light in that dark tunnel - I was just too blinded by my own shit to see it.

One day something in me clicked and I guess I slapped myself in the face, took the bull by the horns and vowed to do something about the shit I had found myself in, all while reminding myself who I am and what I should be all whilst starring at my daughter. 

I took measures and pestered charities, councils, shelters - mostly nothing or not suitable for my daughter. 

Whilst taking 10 mile round bike rides every morning, strolls to the beach (rare when I could get back down there), listening to music, designing shit on a computer, studying/learning, house searching - I just had to keep active and busy and focused - away from the shit my mind was focusing on instead.

Fortunately, through the dog with a bone attitude, I was walking along to town one day in March this year and whilst cutting through this estate I seen the contents of a house being unloaded. Long story short I made a few enquiries, negotiated with the landlord and we struck a deal. I moved in April this year.

The house is private rent - only choice I had given the circumstances and criteria I was in - single man/lone parent and homeless - don't even think of visiting an estate agent.

- I was no longer on any electrol roll and hadn't been for 12 months plus no job, my credit rating was shit and a bit of debt thanks to that glorious ex. - No one would touch me with a banjo with the very limited funds I had and so A hostel was all that was available to an alternative of a house share with 3 recovering drug addicts! 

Okay, So this house had a downside, it was such a shithole that it wasn't fit enough for a Rat to sleep in,  Although to me, it was better than a sofa, a car, a tent, a hostel or a shared tooting gallery.

It was a place I could have my daughter and I seen through the shithole that it was and pictured what I WAS going to make it within 10 minutes of walking round it. The house needed gutted everywhere. 

On a shoe string budget, reclaiming and upcycling where possible I have 85% transformed the house to a liveable standard (whilst going easy as I am only renting after all).

{Villa promoted back to the Premier League in this time frame}

My next stage is to now start the new business (penned and planned while in a dark place but keeping busy) and kick on to the next stage from there. Sustainability for 12 months and build up a new Credit Rating etc.

My overall goal. Maintain what I have so far recovered to build and build everything up where possible gradually. The ultimate goal is to establish the business and look into re-locating back to the coast by next summer.

No room for a woman in sight for me and I am not in the transfer market for one either. A few loans may be in order but I am no longer commiting to anything that cost me a fortune. 

@kurtsimonw I think you need to try and change your mindset if you can and give yourself a motivation a little bit - what can you offer a woman right now? Why is a woman so important? What are you doing to make a woman want you? Why should she choose you over the 1000's of others - give them a reason - but for the right reasons.

Have you ever done/considered an escort to try and help you kick things off on the women esteem front or any other confidence building ideas.  I have learned in some things that it won't come to you but you have to go and get it. 

What do you want? What are you going to do about achieving that? I hope some of that makes sense.

Closing on this I would like to say a big thank you to many VTers who do know what has been going on outside of the VT screen and also thank you to @NurembergVillan for your help advice and support etc. It is very much appreciated.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this if you have got this far, apologies to you if you haven't.   UTV

 

Seriously though mate, well done for getting through it all. You're a stronger man than I would have been. I can't imagine facing the things you have been through in the last few years. 

Keep fighting the good fight 

[Chindie]

I have been referred to a psychiatrist. Cool.

[villakram]

5 hours ago, Chindie said:

I have been referred to a psychiatrist. Cool.

That word just makes me think of the ancient aliens guy now... OT, I know. Hope it helps mate!

[Chindie]

As a bit of a commitment to myself, if I don't make it to the cinema tonight I may just give up entirely.

[Xela]

On 17/07/2019 at 18:31, Chindie said:

As a bit of a commitment to myself, if I don't make it to the cinema tonight I may just give up entirely.

Glad you made it mate! 

[Chindie]

4 minutes ago, Xela said:

Glad you made it mate! 

As am I. Wasn't easy, but did it, and felt better for it even if the entire experience was uncomfortable.

[Dodgyknees]

Well, here we go.

I mentioned that 2017-2018/beginning of 19 was an awful time for me. I stepped back for a while - but the playoff win sort of spurred me on. I've just been offered the chance to do comms for a charity - they had no plan, I will also manage socials etc.

And I had been building a new business - marketing and comms. I finished the website 3 weeks ago but can't bring myself to post it. Pathetic really, as I am so happy, but I still keep wondering what might go wrong. I'm sat here deliberately adding things to the site/changing things, just procrastinating cos I have lost a bit of confidence in actually making it work. Nobody has even seen it and I know I need to get it up and running. God damn all the shit for putting seeds of self doubt in my head.

[dAVe80]

I've been been having quite a few down days of late. No particular reason, although I have just had a lot of stress moving house, so really been at a loss to why. Monday was possibly the worst I've been. Couple of occasions I was feeling like I was going to start crying. Daftest thing seems to set me off. My friend had got me a kitten, and because I've only just got my new house sorted, I'd not been able to have him. In the mean time her daughter had totally fell in love with him. Made total sense for me to agree to let her keep him, but I was genuinely upset at agreeing to it. 

I've never really suffered with mental health issues in the past. This is something completely new to me. I'm not even sure if I can call it a mental health issue, as it almost seems silly. I have been really quite down though at times. Then at the other end of the spectrum, I've felt really chipper today. I'm just in a bit of a weird head space at the moment. 

[mottaloo]

This is the strange and sometimes unexplainable part of mental health that frustrates me, which is highlighted (for me) like this :

i was faced with redundancy in march when our IT team were being outsourced to india, after 21 years of service. After 3 months of prepping for interviews and getting knocked back i finally secured a position by mid june in the retained organisation BUT i still can't shake off the low moods.....not all the time but they occur probably once every 2 or 3 days. I'm not on the dole but I often feel crap, as if the last 3 months have took a hold deep down in my head and refuse to leave. Makes no sense. 

Ah well....

[chrisp65]

22 minutes ago, mottaloo said:

This is the strange and sometimes unexplainable part of mental health that frustrates me, which is highlighted (for me) like this :

i was faced with redundancy in march when our IT team were being outsourced to india, after 21 years of service. After 3 months of prepping for interviews and getting knocked back i finally secured a position by mid june in the retained organisation BUT i still can't shake off the low moods.....not all the time but they occur probably once every 2 or 3 days. I'm not on the dole but I often feel crap, as if the last 3 months have took a hold deep down in my head and refuse to leave. Makes no sense. 

Ah well....

If you've worked in the same place for 21 years you've built up a lot of relationships, some good, some less good. But they'll be people and routines you know.

If Kevin in the warehouse is an absolute bellend you deal with every day, something out of your control breaking that up is going to have an impact on you.

You'll possibly feel betrayed or defeated and this won't completely go away 'just' because you survived it. You'll still play it over in your head and feel something integral to your life was out of your control.

That's my random musings on it anyway. Having been in an NHS job I loved that was closed down by the bastard tories so their mates could supply an inferior service at twice the cost.

[dAVe80]

2 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

If you've worked in the same place for 21 years you've built up a lot of relationships, some good, some less good. But they'll be people and routines you know.

If Kevin in the warehouse is an absolute bellend you deal with every day, something out of your control breaking that up is going to have an impact on you.

You'll possibly feel betrayed or defeated and this won't completely go away 'just' because you survived it. You'll still play it over in your head and feel something integral to your life was out of your control.

That's my random musings on it anyway. Having been in an NHS job I loved that was closed down by the bastard tories so their mates could supply an inferior service at twice the cost.

This maybe rings true with me a little. Although I'm not changing jobs, my best friend from work (the same lass who got me a kitten) is leaving soon. I'd not really thought about it, but I've pretty much spent every break and lunch with her for the past 18 months. We've got each other through some shit during that time. It did occur to me the other day how odd it's gonna be when she goes. 

[mottaloo]

15 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

If you've worked in the same place for 21 years you've built up a lot of relationships, some good, some less good. But they'll be people and routines you know.

If Kevin in the warehouse is an absolute bellend you deal with every day, something out of your control breaking that up is going to have an impact on you.

You'll possibly feel betrayed or defeated and this won't completely go away 'just' because you survived it. You'll still play it over in your head and feel something integral to your life was out of your control.

That's my random musings on it anyway. Having been in an NHS job I loved that was closed down by the bastard tories so their mates could supply an inferior service at twice the cost.

Thanks. That pretty much nails how i felt and still do at times. Am getting back in to park run and the gym more now. Exercise is a great help.

[kurtsimonw]

12 hours ago, mottaloo said:

This is the strange and sometimes unexplainable part of mental health that frustrates me, which is highlighted (for me) like this :

i was faced with redundancy in march when our IT team were being outsourced to india, after 21 years of service. After 3 months of prepping for interviews and getting knocked back i finally secured a position by mid june in the retained organisation BUT i still can't shake off the low moods.....not all the time but they occur probably once every 2 or 3 days. I'm not on the dole but I often feel crap, as if the last 3 months have took a hold deep down in my head and refuse to leave. Makes no sense. 

Ah well....

I'd echo what @chrisp65 regarding your subconscious feelings towards the company. Having worked there for so long, I'm guessing you felt quite positively towards them, but something like this can change your views on them and you may not even like the idea of still working for them.

I recently started to feel different about my company when, through random luck, someone else got a job role that I wanted - and wasn't given a chance to apply for - because someone else wanted a job in accounts, and that department was now too overcrowded. I'm still doing exactly the same job, yet my views have changed on how I perceive the company.

[Chindie]

On 16/07/2019 at 11:31, Chindie said:

I have been referred to a psychiatrist. Cool.

Got the referral letter today.

Choice of 3 places. 2 in Derby, 1 in Nottingham.

I struggle to get to a cinema a 15 minute journey away. Of course I can get to Derby or Nottingham. Of course.

Waste of time. I'll have to somehow do this on my own.

[peterms]

26 minutes ago, Chindie said:

Got the referral letter today.

Choice of 3 places. 2 in Derby, 1 in Nottingham.

I struggle to get to a cinema a 15 minute journey away. Of course I can get to Derby or Nottingham. Of course.

Waste of time. I'll have to somehow do this on my own.

Perhaps the thing to do is to contact them, explain the problem in attending, and ask what can be done.  I can't imagine they would tell for example agoraphobics that if they can't travel, they can't be seen.  There will be obvious practical problems for them, with little spare capacity to arrange appointments all over the place, but at the same time it must be an issue they face now and again, and there must be some kind of arrangement they make in such cases.

[peterms]

On 24/07/2019 at 20:55, mottaloo said:

This is the strange and sometimes unexplainable part of mental health that frustrates me, which is highlighted (for me) like this :

i was faced with redundancy in march when our IT team were being outsourced to india, after 21 years of service. After 3 months of prepping for interviews and getting knocked back i finally secured a position by mid june in the retained organisation BUT i still can't shake off the low moods.....not all the time but they occur probably once every 2 or 3 days. I'm not on the dole but I often feel crap, as if the last 3 months have took a hold deep down in my head and refuse to leave. Makes no sense. 

Ah well....

It makes perfect sense.

If you think about it in terms of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the situation you faced was threatening on several levels.  And that's just in terms of loss of employment, without considering things like the situation being largely or entirely out of your control (which makes it worse), feelings of betrayal and loss of trust and so on.  It's not like being told you will need to change your electricity supplier or your phone contract, it's acutely personally threatening on many different levels.

This is why politicians fail so completely in their duty when they fail to appreciate the importance of these things on people, and the impact they have, and the need for public policy to be framed accordingly, but that's another point.