Chindie Posted March 26, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Mandy Lifeboats said: The problem with mental illness is that you try to resolve your problems but your illness stops you making the best decisions. If I had a broken leg I wouldn't ask to be treated by a doctor who was under stress, worried about the future and anxious. Yet someone with a mental illness will try to self help and/or self medicate. Get help. Get help with your finances. Get help with your underlying condition. Get help with your stress. All the best @Chindie. You are not "mental". You are ill/injured and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Been there.....done that......denied I needed help......reached crisis.....swallowed my pride and got help. My only regret is not getting help sooner. The dumb thing is I think clearly. I know what I need to do. I'm doing CBT again. Nothing seems to help. I actually tried to get help as things got worse and ended up having things get derailed even more (the original run of CBT was curtailed as I was considered a suicide risk). I'm trying to do things, and every one of them is a struggle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted March 26, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Xela said: Really sorry to hear of this mate. What was the trigger for the anxiety today? Was it because you were worried about needing the toilet or was it just the thought of crowds/other people? Usual story. Stomach starts playing up, etc etc. It's **** pathetic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted March 26, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, snowychap said: What was the outcome of this? Did it have anything to do with the anxiety you were obviously feeling in the PO? I'm not consciously aware of that playing a role today. I can't say much more than that unfortunately. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted March 26, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, PompeyVillan said: It sounds like anxiety to me. Which everyone suffers from. To be obviously so anxious and still achieve what you set out to do is amazing. It's also brave to share your experiences of anxiety. It's so easy to be hard on yourself. I became aware of a book a while ago called The Chimp Paradox. I bought it for my wife, who is a worrier. She didn't apply it chapter and verse but it was a good tool for understanding anxiety and worry. She called her chimp Bepe Anxiety is certainly a part of it, if not the entirety of it, and it's extremely severe. As said before I don't really see getting to a post office a minute away as an achievement, and especially when even that was nearly completely aborted at the first hurdle and had me acting like a lunatic. Or shady as ****. I'm not sure I really care anymore about hiding it. I've had this trouble for the entire I've posted here. I've nodded towards it over the years but never really discussed it until this has got to the extent of full on life ruining. It already had affected my life severely, but nobody would have been able to see it really until recently and it didn't prevent me doing things. And then it just got worse and worse. At this point I don't care about hiding it. My life has been ****. **** it. I've always been hard on myself. Even colleagues knew that. I beat myself up about stuff. I do it about things that happened years ago. That is also being addressed with CBT I understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, Chindie said: I'm not consciously aware of that playing a role today. I can't say much more than that unfortunately. No problem. No desire to push. I'll just echo other people's comments about your self-flagellation whilst adding that I can understand why you're taking that line. I don't think it's right, though. It wouldn't be pathetic if your actions were so curtailed by your health issues that you weren't able to complete what would be, to people without those issues, simple tasks - it is certainly not pathetic that you have completed that task. I'm sorry that I can't offer any more other than a genuine hope that things improve. I don't doubt that all of us on here are on your side in your seeking that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 @Chindie question, but what (in your eyes) is "happiness" or "success"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted March 26, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted March 26, 2019 6 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: @Chindie question, but what (in your eyes) is "happiness" or "success"? I don't really know what I'd define happiness as. Success... Being comfortable I guess. I used to joke in interviews that I aspired to be middle class. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted March 26, 2019 Moderator Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Chindie said: I understand this, but then I think I'm a 30 year old man who struggled to post 6 parcels because he has a problem toddlers don't have. Going to the post office isn't an achievement, and to think it is is pathetic. It really isn’t - given the difficulty of the task. Sure you’re right in the context of what people perceive society might expect, but you achieved a thing that was really hard for you on this day in this year. You’ve done a thing, overcome a thing, that was **** difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 4 hours ago, Chindie said: I've always been hard on myself. Even colleagues knew that. I beat myself up about stuff. I do it about things that happened years ago. That is also being addressed with CBT I understand. I do the same thing. I relive decades old social interactions. It sometimes does my head in. "I could have done this, should have said that, why did they say that, why did they act that way towards me", etc. It's usually around something negative, something angsty. I've been slightly paranoid as long as I can remember, so that plays into it. It can be insidious. keep looking for ways to get a handle on your issue, Chindie, i know you can do it. It just sounds like you are in a deep funk but you can manage with help. I'm taking a small dose of Lexapro daily and I also take Neurontin when I feel like I need augmentation. It's a very effective drug with multiple uses. I should really try CBT as well, I'm sure it will help. i just hate talking about it, so I need to get over that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vive_La_Villa Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 8 hours ago, Chindie said: I've tried various medications and continue to take the latest one that's been prescribed. Nothing helps. Those few close to me would argue I've got worse on them. Have you tried Setraline? I know everyone’s body acts differently to medication but its helped me a lot in the past. It normally takes a month or so to start working though and you can feel a lot worse before you feel better in that time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Dodgyknees Posted March 31, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted March 31, 2019 (edited) Past 12 months have really tested my ability to cope! Relationship ended (she had a miscarriage and it tore us apart) Made redundant I do self employed work, and somebody I was contracted to do work for ran off with clients money, Inc mine. Dad almost died. Failed a medical for a job (I've got a bad foot injury) Following that I dislocated my shoulder and that's now repairing. **** hell, I've seriously had a lot of shit. I'm getting through it now. Moving away from here for a fresh start. Edited March 31, 2019 by Dick 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaglint Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 (edited) @Chindie VT is always here for you pal. Have you read Johan Hari’s book Lost Connections? Also have you looked into any of the research being done on psychedelics and depression/anxiety? No idea if either will be able to offer the help you need but might be worth a look. Edited March 31, 2019 by villaglint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted March 31, 2019 Moderator Share Posted March 31, 2019 1 hour ago, Dick said: Past 12 months have really tested my ability to cope! Relationship ended (she had a miscarriage and it tore us apart) Made redundant I do self employed work, and somebody I was contracted to do work for ran off with clients money, Inc mine. Dad almost died. Failed a medical for a job (I've got a bad foot injury) Following that I dislocated my shoulder and that's now repairing. **** hell, I've seriously had a lot of shit. I'm getting through it now. Moving away from here for a fresh start. That's some run there, mate. You should be proud you've still got your head above water. We've known each other a long time. Hit me up if you want to talk. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 1 hour ago, NurembergVillan said: That's some run there, mate. You should be proud you've still got your head above water. We've known each other a long time. Hit me up if you want to talk. Thank you mate, that means a lot. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 5 hours ago, Dick said: Past 12 months have really tested my ability to cope! Relationship ended (she had a miscarriage and it tore us apart) Made redundant I do self employed work, and somebody I was contracted to do work for ran off with clients money, Inc mine. Dad almost died. Failed a medical for a job (I've got a bad foot injury) Following that I dislocated my shoulder and that's now repairing. **** hell, I've seriously had a lot of shit. I'm getting through it now. Moving away from here for a fresh start. I'm convinced that while being totally shit, the crises we face are elemental to life. If we can find grace in the midst of the madness, even fleetingly, we've come out of it okay. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 5 hours ago, villaglint said: @Chindie VT is always here for you pal. Have you read Johan Hari’s book Lost Connections? Also have you looked into any of the research being done on psychedelics and depression/anxiety? No idea if either will be able to offer the help you need but might be worth a look. Micro doses of psychedelics and MDMA are the future of therapy and maybe everyday life, like vitamins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villakram Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 On 25/03/2019 at 17:14, mikeyp102 said: Never been diagnosed or even tested, but think I may sufffer from Seasonal affective disorder. Been feeling really down and lonely recently, plus found myself snapping at work at stuff that I shouldn’t let bother me. My job isn’t stressful, but I’m getting so annoyed with things there as I don’t get a promotion when I should (been told that’s its due to “office politics” not me). I’m in Lanzorote atm to try and perk myself up, but last night actually felt lower than usual. I’m here on my own, and “holidaying” alone is not like travelling alone. Done the alone thing and the having a pint and food at the end of the night is the worst if you don't get chatting to a few people. Otherwise, get on your bike and go explore, you never know if you'll get the chance to do it again sans needing to take another into account! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted April 1, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted April 1, 2019 20 hours ago, villaglint said: @Chindie VT is always here for you pal. Have you read Johan Hari’s book Lost Connections? Also have you looked into any of the research being done on psychedelics and depression/anxiety? No idea if either will be able to offer the help you need but might be worth a look. Thanks. I'm not sure that would be a rabbit hole I would want to go down. Had to go to the post office again today. Again was a **** nightmare. Thankfully this time I had less to send but at the end of the day I'm so knackered from the hours of getting prepared to go by the time I manage to have done it I've wasted so much of the day and drained by it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 18 hours ago, maqroll said: I'm convinced that while being totally shit, the crises we face are elemental to life. If we can find grace in the midst of the madness, even fleetingly, we've come out of it okay. I agree I've changed. But that's probably a good thing. Even today, I just sat in the sunshine and I felt so good. Blessed by it. Almost missed a meeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 I feel flat. No idea why. Last night I felt like I could burst into tears. And it's affecting every aspect of my life atm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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