What is your experience of mental health?

[Chindie]

Hoping to get some clarity today on what's going on with work. Failed to get in again this morning. I'm not going to sit here waiting another fortnight for the gallows with no idea what they're planning though, I need to start making arrangements and calls now if they're going to bin me.

[NurembergVillan]

1 hour ago, Chindie said:

Hoping to get some clarity today on what's going on with work. Failed to get in again this morning. I'm not going to sit here waiting another fortnight for the gallows with no idea what they're planning though, I need to start making arrangements and calls now if they're going to bin me.

Does the stomach drive the anxiety or does the anxiety drive the stomach?

[Jon]

12 minutes ago, NurembergVillan said:

Does the stomach drive the anxiety or does the anxiety drive the stomach?

I think Morrrisey sang about this back in the day.  

[Chindie]

27 minutes ago, NurembergVillan said:

Does the stomach drive the anxiety or does the anxiety drive the stomach?

Seemingly both. Vicious cycle.

[Xela]

On 16/03/2019 at 12:45, Chindie said:

I'm coming to the end of my tether I think.

I've mentioned before I have a debilitating and severe stomach/anxiety issue. It's ruined my life since it started, but I was very good at hiding it, and I was able to do whatever I needed to do. 18 months ago it started to get increasingly worse. It reached a head at Christmas 2017 when I had to cover the office over the break for a day and had a complete nightmare and near breakdown. It took me 5 hours to get to work. I'd get so far into the journey, my stomach would play up, I had to turn home, I'd then try again, and so on. For 5 hours. After that I ended up working from home for 3 months, ended up in hospital with a pulmonary embolism, was told to be signed off, and that's where I am now. Except I've not been paid since the New Year and I'm running out of money. I was door to speak to HR yesterday about things and for a call to say they would get back to me in a fortnight. They wouldn't say what was being discussed but I'm assuming the extra time is them getting legal opinion on dismissal. I've said I'm keen to work from home again temporarily, even if on reduced pay and reduced responsibilities, but that isn't going to happen.

I'm currently having CBT. I struggled to get to the main place this is offered but was lucky to find someone free nearby. I still struggle to get there, I drive like a maniac for the 5 minutes to get there and prior to that I'm going through 'prep' to leave, going back and forth to the loo for 2 hours, not eating beforehand, being careful what I eat the day before, etc. The issue is severe enough I had to agree additional sessions as it's clear I'm not going to be better at the end of the sessions I've got booked.

I'm taking sertraline which I'm not sure does much. 

I'm currently putting together stuff I can sell to keep me going. How much that'll help I've no idea, but I feel like I'm coming to the end of the road soon or later.

So sorry to hear this mate. As someone who suffers from a chronic bowel condition I really feel for you. Luckily I know what mine is and my situation is generally ok enough for me to carry out my daily life, with only a few compromises unless I have a major flare up and it then leaves me housebound. Reading your post I know exactly what you mean when you said you have to 'prep' yourself before a journey. People don't realise how tiring it can be. 

I cant offer any direct advice but I found my situation vastly improved when I gave up coffee. As arbitrary as that sounds, cutting it out has given me a 25% instant improvement. Controlling my blood pressure was another factor that helped.

You can't carry on as you are, so has the Doctor mentioned any extreme solutions? A stoma/colostomy/ileostomy? I know its a big thing to consider but it could help massively and enable you to have a normal life again. Plenty of stuff out there on the internet about it. 

Thinking of you bud. 

 

[Chindie]

13 minutes ago, Xela said:

So sorry to hear this mate. As someone who suffers from a chronic bowel condition I really feel for you. Luckily I know what mine is and my situation is generally ok enough for me to carry out my daily life, with only a few compromises unless I have a major flare up and it then leaves me housebound. Reading your post I know exactly what you mean when you said you have to 'prep' yourself before a journey. People don't realise how tiring it can be. 

I cant offer any direct advice but I found my situation vastly improved when I gave up coffee. As arbitrary as that sounds, cutting it out has given me a 25% instant improvement. Controlling my blood pressure was another factor that helped.

You can't carry on as you are, so has the Doctor mentioned any extreme solutions? A stoma/colostomy/ileostomy? I know its a big thing to consider but it could help massively and enable you to have a normal life again. Plenty of stuff out there on the internet about it. 

Thinking of you bud. 

 

Thanks. It's good to know there's other people or there that can understand. It completely dominates my life, but prior to 2017 I was coping with it and nobody would know any different really. Now I'm staring down the barrel.

There's apparently nothing physically wrong with me. Which means you get saddled with the IBS label (effectively short hand for 'something ain't right but **** if we know what it is') which is maddening. And then the mental side of things combines with it in a vicious cycle until I'm now crippled by it. I doubt any extreme intervention would be on offer or even particularly helpful at this point unfortunately.

I eventually managed to speak with HR today. I have a sneaking suspicion my calls were being ignored as I only got through using a different line to my usual one. Didn't get much from them but I think they could tell I was not in the mood to be fobbed off so they've said they'll let me know what the situation is likely to be tomorrow. It's going to be dismissal, mind.

I've spoken with ACAS and the takeaways from that were basically I may be considered disabled, but also chances are they would dismiss me.

So I've spent the last couple of days shoving stuff on eBay and listing stuff in various other places. Signing up for sales groups etc. I'm moving on a bunch of collectible stuff, high end things, rare stuff. Hopefully that'll come good.

Appreciate the thoughts.

Edited March 18, 2019 by Chindie

[NurembergVillan]

2 hours ago, Chindie said:

Thanks. It's good to know there's other people or there that can understand. It completely dominates my life, but prior to 2017 I was coping with it and nobody would know any different really. Now I'm staring down the barrel.

There's apparently nothing physically wrong with me. Which means you get saddled with the IBS label (effectively short hand for 'something ain't right but **** if we know what it is') which is maddening. And then the mental side of things combines with it in a vicious cycle until I'm now crippled by it. I doubt any extreme intervention would be on offer or even particularly helpful at this point unfortunately.

I eventually managed to speak with HR today. I have a sneaking suspicion my calls were being ignored as I only got through using a different line to my usual one. Didn't get much from them but I think they could tell I was not in the mood to be fobbed off so they've said they'll let me know what the situation is likely to be tomorrow. It's going to be dismissal, mind.

I've spoken with ACAS and the takeaways from that were basically I may be considered disabled, but also chances are they would dismiss me.

So I've spent the last couple of days shoving stuff on eBay and listing stuff in various other places. Signing up for sales groups etc. I'm moving on a bunch of collectible stuff, high end things, rare stuff. Hopefully that'll come good.

Appreciate the thoughts.

I've had the IBS diagnosis and have been on Omeprazole for about 8 or 9 years now to control my acid.

I've always had a stomach-based reaction to stress and it's easily triggered too.  In hindsight, I'd had bought shares in whoever owns the patent for Imodium back when I was diagnosed.

You've mentioned the financial situation a couple of times now.  Is there no alternative?  Is there anything your friends on VT can do to help?  I get the impression you're a proud guy (in a good sense) but if there was a GoFundMe sort of opportunity I'd be only too happy to help - even if it only keeps the wolves from the door for a little while longer.

I hate the thought of you having to sell your collectables and rarities.  Can you pawn any of it so you'd have a chance of getting it back if things straighten out within a period of time?

Don't be afraid to reach out, mate.  We'll all do what we can...

[snowychap]

21 minutes ago, NurembergVillan said:

I hate the thought of you having to sell your collectables and rarities.  Can you pawn any of it so you'd have a chance of getting it back if things straighten out within a period of time?

Yes, that sounds like an awful way of having to deal with any financial issues and, perhaps, may just add to the issues in the long run.

@Chindie, is there not any other way of addressing the finances? Is there any use in going to someone like the Money Advice Service, for example?

 

Edited March 18, 2019 by snowychap

[peterms]

3 hours ago, Chindie said:

I've spoken with ACAS and the takeaways from that were basically I may be considered disabled, but also chances are they would dismiss me. 

I would suggest checking this angle more thoroughly.

If you were regarded as disabled, which I think you may very well be, then the employer is going to treat the case differently, and more cautiously.  They may delay dismissal, meaning more pay.  They may enter a discussion about "reasonable adjustments" to allow you to continue working, possibly on a reduced basis.  If you are dismissed, you may have some more influence over the terms of dismissal, and future references.  You may have enhanced grounds for a claim of wrongful dismissal. 

But from the employer's point of view, you have to make them aware that there are special circumstances and that disability may come into play, or else they can't so easily be faulted for not considering it.  So early advice is an issue.

The person you spoke to in ACAS may or may not know much about the disability angle.  Find something like a Centre for Independent Living, or a specialist disability adviser recommended by CAB or another advice agency.

[Chindie]

12 hours ago, NurembergVillan said:

I've had the IBS diagnosis and have been on Omeprazole for about 8 or 9 years now to control my acid.

I've always had a stomach-based reaction to stress and it's easily triggered too.  In hindsight, I'd had bought shares in whoever owns the patent for Imodium back when I was diagnosed.

You've mentioned the financial situation a couple of times now.  Is there no alternative?  Is there anything your friends on VT can do to help?  I get the impression you're a proud guy (in a good sense) but if there was a GoFundMe sort of opportunity I'd be only too happy to help - even if it only keeps the wolves from the door for a little while longer.

I hate the thought of you having to sell your collectables and rarities.  Can you pawn any of it so you'd have a chance of getting it back if things straighten out within a period of time?

Don't be afraid to reach out, mate.  We'll all do what we can...

That's one I've not heard of... Something else to mention to whoever I see next time I'm at the doctors. I walk around with immodium, codeine, propranolol, etc etc.

As for the money situation. I'm not in a good place. I've been unpaid for 3 months. As a result I've dropped down my outgoings significantly, living off stuff in the freezer etc. Depending on the outcome of the call from HR again today/tomorrow, I'll be calling the mortgage company to see what I can do on that front.

The stuff I'm selling so far is either things I'd earmarked to move on anyway (or had actually bought with that in mind for a rainy day - I own a seemingly incredibly rare Dredd figure which was bought with a view to selling one day for instance. Unfortunately it's so rare I actually don't know if it's worth much, there's no record of one being sold. I've tried to sign up to specialist groups to find out). Ultimately other stuff I've more attachment to will go as well. If it came to it a family friend has said he would effectively 'pawn' some stuff for me, lend me cash in return for ownership of the item (my dad had done the same for him a few years ago, and when he died I wrote off any 'debt' as as far as I was concerned the deal was between friends helping each other out and ended with my dad dying), but he's not exactly flush either so I can't rely on that. I'm hoping the money from selling stuff will tide me over until I can get better.

I appreciate the thought of the crowd funding but I couldn't accept that. There's far more deserving causes if people want to help the world be a better place. I'd be ashamed to beg for cash in this scenario. I'll be in the ground before I start a GoFundme or the like. But I do absolutely, genuinely, appreciate the thought.

[Mandy Lifeboats]

@Chindie You might be entitled to Employment Support Allowance, Universal Credit or Personal Independence Payments. I'm no expert but Citizen Advice and gov.uk both have information. Check them out. Don't assume you are not entitled. The only thing you stand to lose is the time it takes to make the claim.

[Chindie]

13 hours ago, snowychap said:

Yes, that sounds like an awful way of having to deal with any financial issues and, perhaps, may just add to the issues in the long run.

@Chindie, is there not any other way of addressing the finances? Is there any use in going to someone like the Money Advice Service, for example?

 

Perhaps, but it's the one advantage I have I guess. I've spent a few years collecting stuff, it's effectively a store of cash. I've also trying to move on some gaming stuff that ultimately is just sat around. And there's things like my dad's trainset stuff from the 60s. Obviously long term is not a solution but hopefully it'll be enough to keep things going. The stress probably won't help but I can deal with that.

I'm going to be looking into further advice services once I know where I stand, so I'll have a look at the Money Advice Service, thanks. I've also discovered a family friend knows a senior employment law advisor so hopefully can have a chat with them in the hope they've got some advice.

[Chindie]

13 hours ago, peterms said:

I would suggest checking this angle more thoroughly.

If you were regarded as disabled, which I think you may very well be, then the employer is going to treat the case differently, and more cautiously.  They may delay dismissal, meaning more pay.  They may enter a discussion about "reasonable adjustments" to allow you to continue working, possibly on a reduced basis.  If you are dismissed, you may have some more influence over the terms of dismissal, and future references.  You may have enhanced grounds for a claim of wrongful dismissal. 

But from the employer's point of view, you have to make them aware that there are special circumstances and that disability may come into play, or else they can't so easily be faulted for not considering it.  So early advice is an issue.

The person you spoke to in ACAS may or may not know much about the disability angle.  Find something like a Centre for Independent Living, or a specialist disability adviser recommended by CAB or another advice agency.

Yes it's something I'll have to look into. I wouldn't have thought of myself as disabled but seemingly there is an argument I might be, so I guess I should look into it. I'll be making some inquiries this afternoon.

[Chindie]

23 minutes ago, Mandy Lifeboats said:

@Chindie You might be entitled to Employment Support Allowance, Universal Credit or Personal Independence Payments. I'm no expert but Citizen Advice and gov.uk both have information. Check them out. Don't assume you are not entitled. The only thing you stand to lose is the time it takes to make the claim.

Thanks. I'll be following these avenues today I think.

Thanks again.

[snowychap]

8 minutes ago, Chindie said:

Perhaps, but it's the one advantage I have I guess. I've spent a few years collecting stuff, it's effectively a store of cash. I've also trying to move on some gaming stuff that ultimately is just sat around. And there's things like my dad's trainset stuff from the 60s. Obviously long term is not a solution but hopefully it'll be enough to keep things going. The stress probably won't help but I can deal with that.

I'm going to be looking into further advice services once I know where I stand, so I'll have a look at the Money Advice Service, thanks. I've also discovered a family friend knows a senior employment law advisor so hopefully can have a chat with them in the hope they've got some advice.

Yes, I've read your reply early to NV as well and it sounds less drastic than perhaps he and I otherwise envisaged in the respect that these were partly safeguards (against financial issues) rather than things that are going to cause you major regret if you part with them.

The advisor via a family friend thing sounds good. I do very much recommend the idea of consulting a professional on something like employment law as it's quite a speciality and sound, considered advice on the subject can really help. I pushed my brother towards that when he was having some difficulties a few years ago and a recommendation from a solicitor friend with whom he played football meant that he left his previous employment in a much better situation than he thought he'd have to and his employer was convinced should be the case (though it was still quite unpleasant and a bit of to and fro for a month or so). That's obviously not to say the same thing will happen (the circumstances are very different) but if you can get some initial advice without having to incur much if any of an outlay then at least you'll know better where you are.

 

[Rodders]

21 minutes ago, Chindie said:

Yes it's something I'll have to look into. I wouldn't have thought of myself as disabled but seemingly there is an argument I might be, so I guess I should look into it. I'll be making some inquiries this afternoon.

Only going based off what you have said, the condition / situation seems pretty disabling to you being able to function the way you wish. I've had friends who've been struck down with an anxiety that immoblised them from working, and they claim benefit support. Disability encompasses a very broad spectrum of what it is to be disabled, so definitely don't let any preconceptions you have over any perceived arbitrary limits stop you investigating.

Good luck.

[Chindie]

3 minutes ago, snowychap said:

Yes, I've read your reply early to NV as well and it sounds less drastic than perhaps he and I otherwise envisaged in the respect that these were partly safeguards (against financial issues) rather than things that are going to cause you major regret if you part with them.

The advisor via a family friend thing sounds good. I do very much recommend the idea of consulting a professional on something like employment law as it's quite a speciality and sound, considered advice on the subject can really help. I pushed my brother towards that when he was having some difficulties a few years ago and a recommendation from a solicitor friend with whom he played football meant that he left his previous employment in a much better situation than he thought he'd have to and his employer was convinced should be the case (though it was still quite unpleasant and a bit of to and fro for a month or so). That's obviously not to say the same thing will happen (the circumstances are very different) but if you can get some initial advice without having to incur much if any of an outlay then at least you'll know better where you are.

 

I probably should have been clearer I guess. I've got some collectable stuff I had stored which I could sell. Mostly these are items I've not got much attachment to, with a couple that are rare enough they would have some value above what they would otherwise (hopefully). This is a handful of things. The rest of the stuff I have varying degrees of attachment to and would rather not sell but needs must and will have to go even if I'd rather they didn't.

I have about £800 in cash as things stand. All being well the stuff I've already advertised could raise that to closer to £2000, and I might be able to dig out some other stuff to bump that up. Of course this assumes things being sold. It's not a great position.

Hopefully the family friend can come good. I'd feel better having more concrete advice than ACAS' general points of law.

[Chindie]

Call tomorrow to determine my fate. Gallows ahoy.

Not sure what to expect or what to look out for, bear in mind, etc really. Not something I have experience of really.

[snowychap]

22 minutes ago, Chindie said:

Call tomorrow to determine my fate. Gallows ahoy.

Not sure what to expect or what to look out for, bear in mind, etc really. Not something I have experience of really.

Best of luck.

[villakram]

On 17/03/2019 at 05:39, Dr_Pangloss said:

Jordan Peterson advocates a zero carb diet. Here's a study published in The Lancet, it's a very board meta-analysis and demonstrates that diets where carbohydrates are less than 40% or more than 70% of your energy confer an increased risk of mortality:

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667(18)30135-X/fulltext 

So yeah, I wouldn't take Jordan Peterson's advice on this, he knows nothing about biochemistry, nutrition science and the like.

 

 

 

He does that because his daughter has suffered from all sorts of immune related issues and found that a meat dominated diet helped immensely. He himself has also suffered from similar issues at a lower level and based on seeing the improvements in his daughter also found relief from this diet. At all times I have heard or read his thoughts on this, he is very clear in this sense. It works for him or at least has thus far. Surely the opinion of an ill individual who has found some relief has some value regardless of their political views.

 

Oh... and you referenced a meta-analysis. It doesn't matter where that is published, but meta-analyses are bunk science.

Edited March 24, 2019 by villakram