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Things that piss you off that shouldn't


theunderstudy

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I was in Greggs yesterday, getting lunch, and a woman just shoved a pushchair over my foot. Not a word said, nothing. Then the woman on the till called if anyone was waiting, which I was, so I had scramble around the pram, accidentally nudging a woman looking at the sandwiches (Such a small nudge I didn't even know I had) leading her to indignantly proclaim 'Excuse me...!'.

This all pissed me off, and today I'm not going to Greggs.

This is one of my all time, biggest, rage-inducing pet peeves. Pram c*nt mothers (leemondesque rant incoming)...

Because you are hurtling a pram and/or pushchair around town, this apparently precludes you from engaging in the sort of base-level courtesy that even chimpanzees enjoy. Someone's standing in your way? No need for a quick "excuse me", either stand there and tut audibly or better yet force your way through with your child-laden bulldozer blade.

Of course, as someone who is graced with the enviable ability to copulate, you should naturally be awarded with 'pavement parking immunity' and as such are permitted, nay, empowered to leave your kiddie-APC wherever the chuff you like. And if someone dares to request that you yourself move? Well by Christ they must be Jimmy Savile, Gary Glitter and Adolf Hitler incarnate as they're clearly there to rape and then eat your child and you should damn well treat them as such.

My worst experience came in an express checkout queue in Sainsbury's; the line stretched far back, somewhat blocking the pre-till 'runway' area when along came an urchin-wielding Cro-Magnon who proceeded to dump her four-wheeled menace as close to said queue as physically possible, and (without a single utterance) mime a "pushing out the way" motion. When the patrons eventually parted way for her, she barged right on through whilst exclaiming to her sub-human partner that "**** rude arseholes, move when you see a pram!". It is the closest I've ever come to hitting a woman.

**** pram c*nt mothers. **** 'em all.

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I've said before, but in Stevo's Britain there would either be designated lanes for prams They'd share a lane with the walking slower than a glacier people and the window shoppers), or designated hours for prams.

You want to go into a shopping centre with a pram? Sure, go for it. But if you're caught in one between the hours of 10am and 4pm when all the non-words removed come to shop, you'll be shot.

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.....how much of this cold has escaped through my nostrils this afternoon. Seriously, a human nose shouldn't be able to contain so much snot. Haven't been through this many Kleenex since Cherie Lunghi was the manageress.

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Back on cricket, just had 2 weeks of constant updates on who is better, england v India, now were getting even more updates on england v india via they decided two weeks isn't long enough to decide who's better so now there playing 20/20. Seriously what's the feckin point.

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The fact women on Pointless always get their way in the final round when partnered with a bloke.

Much rather trust a man on the subject of Football Managers than the topic of Soul Divas. **** women.

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Cracking rants from Leemond and Gareth :)

We only have music on in the office over the Xmas period... and only Christmas songs allowed! I must have heard Roy Wood and Noddy Holder 12 times each today!

My annoyance today... fat **** getting a disabled blue badge for their cars just because they are gluttonous losers!

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Having to work on a project for an American corporation that involves mood wheels and asking people how they feel about certain scenarios as they eat a variety of products

made all the more irritating by the fact that vast amounts of the UK population appear to dense to know the difference between contempt and content

poxy project has taken up the last 10 days of my life and no end in sight just yet !!!

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scenario 1 - eating a bacon and egg sandwich

you-so how do you feel about life at this exact moment

exhibit A-I feel pretty **** good about it, I am getting free food

scenario 2- eating a sandwich with a beer shit filling

you-so how do you feel about life at this exact moment

exhibit B - pretty shit to be honest

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Christmas charity adverts.....

**** OFF. No you're not having my £2 to provide water for Africa when the corrupt bastard running the Country cruises round in a Rolls and filling his Swiss Bank Account with international development aid.

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