limpid Posted April 8, 2023 Administrator Share Posted April 8, 2023 11 hours ago, villaajax said: Haha, I've just had the Jehovah Witnesses round too. Never seen so many in the street! They asked me who I think controls the world, God or Satan? My favourite encounter was when I answered the door and the lady looked at me, looked at the picture of Jesus on her leaflet, then back at me, then at the leaflet Always fun to ask them how they worked out God is the good one, given the stories in the Bible. Even just using the first few sentences, where God lies and the serpent tells the truth. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HKP90 Posted April 8, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted April 8, 2023 55 minutes ago, limpid said: Always fun to ask them how they worked out God is the good one, given the stories in the Bible. Even just using the first few sentences, where God lies and the serpent tells the truth. When I was a college student in the 90's, I was sleeping off a heavy night before, when I heard a knock at the door. It was about midday. I schlepped downstairs and opened the door, dressed only in my underpants. I heard the word 'Jesus' uttered as the door swung open, but as the majesty of my bepanted figure greeted the two well dressed gentlemen on my doorstep, the talking stopped. We stood there in complete silence regarding each other for 30 seconds. No one said a word. Then at the same time, they turned and walked away, and I closed the door. They literally thought I was beyond redemption. And in fairness, they were right. I really wished later on that I'd said 'can I have a pamphlet'. Would have been a good kiss-off line. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart_75 Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 6 hours ago, HKP90 said: When I was a college student in the 90's, I was sleeping off a heavy night before, when I heard a knock at the door. It was about midday. I schlepped downstairs and opened the door, dressed only in my underpants. I heard the word 'Jesus' uttered as the door swung open, but as the majesty of my bepanted figure greeted the two well dressed gentlemen on my doorstep, the talking stopped. We stood there in complete silence regarding each other for 30 seconds. No one said a word. Then at the same time, they turned and walked away, and I closed the door. They literally thought I was beyond redemption. And in fairness, they were right. I really wished later on that I'd said 'can I have a pamphlet'. Would have been a good kiss-off line. Are you sure you didn't have a morning boner poking out of your pants as you greeted them on the doorstep? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 2 hours ago, stuart_75 said: Are you sure you didn't have a morning boner poking out of your pants as you greeted them on the doorstep? or a little wet patch from your unfocused wee. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post HKP90 Posted April 9, 2023 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2023 2 hours ago, stuart_75 said: Are you sure you didn't have a morning boner poking out of your pants as you greeted them on the doorstep? 5 minutes ago, Genie said: or a little wet patch from your unfocused wee. Both were distinct possibilities. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VILLAMARV Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 21 hours ago, Genie said: We haven’t had any for years but we do get letters from one that lives nearby a couple of times a year. Not sure if she’s rich or lazy but she gets Royal Mail to deliver her leaflets. Not a fan of the letters much. MrsVMs grandma received one a while back and a subtle blend of it being printed in blue in a handwritten font and being sent from 'Emily' and a bit of 90years old dementia/confusedness for good luck, meant she ended up quite distressed. Wondering why her other granddaughter (really Emily) had jacked in university and joined a cult. It's all a bit like the conservatives hiding their logo or omitting to tell people they're on the blue team on their electioneering leaflets etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HKP90 Posted April 9, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted April 9, 2023 8 minutes ago, VILLAMARV said: Not a fan of the letters much. MrsVMs grandma received one a while back and a subtle blend of it being printed in blue in a handwritten font and being sent from 'Emily' and a bit of 90years old dementia/confusedness for good luck, meant she ended up quite distressed. Wondering why her other granddaughter (really Emily) had jacked in university and joined a cult. It's all a bit like the conservatives hiding their logo or omitting to tell people they're on the blue team on their electioneering leaflets etc. That's why they never start a conversation with 'Hello, we're Jehova's Witnesses'. It's always a sentence (usually a question) that no right minded human could disagree with, like 'Would you like to live a perfect life and live forever?' Sorry to hear about your Grandma in law, btw. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 A JW who is also a militant vegan. That would be some formidable doorstep combination. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted April 9, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted April 9, 2023 34 minutes ago, mottaloo said: A JW who is also a militant vegan. That would be some formidable doorstep combination. God provided those animals for us to eat. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 8 hours ago, mjmooney said: God provided those animals for us to eat. If he didn’t want us to eat pigs why did he make them taste like bacon? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limpid Posted April 9, 2023 Administrator Share Posted April 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Genie said: If he didn’t want us to eat pigs why did he make them taste like bacon? He said you aren't allowed to eat pigs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted April 9, 2023 Moderator Share Posted April 9, 2023 2 minutes ago, limpid said: He said you aren't allowed to eat pigs. And pork products taste all the better for it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 8 minutes ago, limpid said: He said you aren't allowed to eat pigs. The lord moves in mysterious ways, he probably meant the opposite. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted April 9, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted April 9, 2023 I still get a small spark of pride when I see the Jehovah's on the prowl and they skip my house. The last one was very nearly crying after talking to me and they've skipped over since. I've occasionally got the ridiculous little letters where they fill absolutely every micron of the paper with absurd God babble still though. Looks like the kind of thing you'd find in a serial killers beside table. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VILLAMARV Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 52 minutes ago, limpid said: He said you aren't allowed to eat pigs. I knew it wasn't my thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 2 hours ago, Chindie said: The last one was very nearly crying after talking to me and they've skipped over since. And that was before you even got onto the subject of religion 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreveryoung Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 Went to Coventry air museum today, which was a good day out, me and the lad. On the way back stopped at the petrol station for a snack and drink and thought I would use the charger there as the EV car I am using was showing 30 miles. Now I know there are chargers being installed at most petrol stations now, but who's gonna use them really. Waiting around for 30 minutes (not fully charged) while at a petrol station was just mind numbing, who is going to do that. It's okay in the city or at the services where you can have a walk around, but at a petrol station, I doubt it'll catch on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limpid Posted April 10, 2023 Administrator Share Posted April 10, 2023 16 minutes ago, foreveryoung said: Went to Coventry air museum today, which was a good day out, me and the lad. On the way back stopped at the petrol station for a snack and drink and thought I would use the charger there as the EV car I am using was showing 30 miles. Now I know there are chargers being installed at most petrol stations now, but who's gonna use them really. Waiting around for 30 minutes (not fully charged) while at a petrol station was just mind numbing, who is going to do that. It's okay in the city or at the services where you can have a walk around, but at a petrol station, I doubt it'll catch on. Agreed. Did you have more than 30 miles to go? Did you have anything better to do in that 30 minutes? Perhaps they should install an arcade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fightoffyour Posted April 11, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted April 11, 2023 18 hours ago, limpid said: Agreed. Did you have more than 30 miles to go? Did you have anything better to do in that 30 minutes? Perhaps they should install an arcade. Wetherspoons at every petrol station is the solution 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 27 minutes ago, fightoffyour said: Wetherspoons at every petrol station is the solution Or a lap dancing club Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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