Ingram85 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Don't **** apologise maqroll, what exactly are you apologising for? We know what you meant, the tone was clear and nothing could be misinterpreted. There was an air of superiority to the posts, but not yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Rev Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Draw a line under the bickering lads, it's going way off topic. Going back to the point at hand, I grew up on a pretty rough estate and there were lots of drugs around. I never reached the point of addiction but some of the people I grew up did (heroin, mostly) and it seemed a successful way of getting off that shite was moving away from it. Getting out of the area and away from those circles. Dunno if this is an option for RV or not but it's definitely worth consideration, even if it's just moving over to the other side of town to put some physical distance between you and your old haunts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Draw a line under the bickering lads, it's going way off topic. Going back to the point at hand, I grew up on a pretty rough estate and there were lots of drugs around. I never reached the point of addiction but some of the people I grew up did (heroin, mostly) and it seemed a successful way of getting off that shite was moving away from it. Getting out of the area and away from those circles. Dunno if this is an option for RV or not but it's definitely worth consideration, even if it's just moving over to the other side of town to put some physical distance between you and your old haunts. yeah that's a very good call as much as it might look like copping out or selling out, unfortunately just plain moving to somewhere 'nicer'* can be the simplest way of giving yourself and your kids a chance * nicer is not automatically and completely tied in with private and more expensive, just, nicer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troon_villan Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Might sound drastic but why not give your missus more control of your finances? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 (edited) Cheers, guys. I think maybe snowy thought I was bigging myself up by saying that I've been substance-free for a while. I was just trying to let Ruge know that it can be done, it had nothing to do with stroking my own ego. I also was not trying to sound superior to anyone who chooses to use whatever they want to use.And I think that's all fair enough (and helpful).I didn't think you were bigging yourself up but I did think (as I tried to say earlier) that some of the responses in this thread (including the part that I subsequently posted from yours - not the rest) and the framing of the discussion (where it's about 'doing the right thing' and so on - go back another page or so and 'dealers ought to be treated like murderers' is in one post) annoy me immensely because of what strikes me as their puritanical/temperance nature.I'll repeat (as it seems to have been ignored by the other posters) that I think the advice giving was fine (actually more than fine, it was great and it was what was requested) but that 'there's a worryingly puritanical aspect to a lot of the posts on here'. Edited August 18, 2014 by snowychap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chrisp65 Posted August 18, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 18, 2014 Puritanical levels of abstinence work for some people though. I think you get a whole raft of advice and try and select the piece that will work with your personality. If you can genuinely be a weekend / leisure user and it doesn't adversely affect others, great, fill your boots. If you can't do that, then just stay away from it. Totally. I'd say that was the approach for all drugs, from chocolate, bread, beer to whatever. I think there's room for lots of different approaches. The AA way of doing things has worked for some and not others. But if someone is moaning it's knackering their health and their relationships, that feels like they need to stop, not tweek their use. As mentioned up above somewhere, if you have 'that' personality, try and channel it into something else, use your money to buy a bike and become a middle aged man in lycra or some such. Get sweaty some other way, but still get sweaty. When I was a kid it was aerosol, glue and lager / paracetemol that were the readily accessible naughty pursuits. Some people did it for 6 months and moved on, others stayed on that path and now look 20 years older than the rest of us. It can't be pure coincidence that the guys that got up and left have typical stressed middle aged problems. The guys that stayed on it all have health problems and less rounded life styles. A bit of a leap of cause and affect I'll grant you. But it's an honest observation. In general, those that don't let drugs or other 'vices' bugger up their weekends or their work or their family, tend to get to the age of 40 / 50 / 60 looking a lot more boringly ok than those that go to greater excess more frequently. That's not a judgement, it's an observation of my peers in my town. Might be that this place is freakishly different. Let's not get all puritanical about what advice or experience can be shared. Some people need a cuddle, some people need shouting at. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 ... aerosol, glue and lager... Ha ha ha - Hello Mr racial stereotype. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 ... aerosol, glue and lager... Ha ha ha - Hello Mr racial stereotype. I am nothing, if not a stereotype. We even wore knock off Harrington jackets, burgundy sta prest and monkey boots. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Ruge, become a child of the earth like me, only drink water and eat hummus maan.. it cleanses your soul, y'know? Ignore these bogarts and join the spiritual society and come on a journey of peace and conciousness. When I feel low, I talk to the earth lines via spiritual movements and songs which channel my chi and keep my mind, body and soul at one with mother nature. Only when you feel this energy will you become at peace my child. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 18, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted August 18, 2014 Good luck, Ruge. Hope you sort it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 But I thought if you have a line of coke you either die or go mad and kill loads of people? That's what was always drilled into my head as a child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I definitely think that Ruge would benefit from some counselling. He seems to be stuck in a cycle of transgressive behaviour(s), which probably has some deep roots. I can't see how he can make much progress on this forum because the approval he gets for his every revelation of a transgressive act is more likely to reinforce the cycle rather extinguish it. I am not sure that anyone is likely to be able to lead him towards some insight into his own behaviour because this is definitely not a 'safe' place. Everyone brings their own shit to the table, which is very interesting but not really helpful. He might in fact, not really want to give up his coke habit but just wish every experience was a good one. He probably needs to find this out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 (edited) It's like anything, some people can handle their booze, some can have a couple bottles of beer (on the wall) and not feel the need to drink the entire crate.. It's the same with a lot of drugs, some can use coke/MDMA every so often and not use it for another 6 months. The difference is one is demonised by society and the other isn't. Do what works best for you, everyone is different. Don't judge.. Good luck Ruge! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMUiwTubYu0 x Edited August 18, 2014 by AVFCforever1991 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 It's like anything, some people can handle their booze, some can have a couple bottles of beer (on the wall) and not feel the need to drink the entire crate.. It's the same with a lot of drugs, some can use coke/estasy every so often and not use it for another 6 months. The difference is one is demonised by society and the other isn't. Do what works best for you, everyone is different. Don't judge.. Good luck Ruge! https://www.you.tube.com/watch?v=iMUiwTubYu0 x To attempt to make a moral judgement is wrong and unproductive but we can still make the judgement call as to whether one choice is better than another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 But I thought if you have a line of coke you either die or go mad and kill loads of people? That's what was always drilled into my head as a child. It's an expensive way of turning yourself into a gobshite for a couple of hours. The hangover, comprising of a spell of depression, sometimes doesn't arrive for a couple of days, but can sometimes last for a couple of days. Washing it up just makes the whole package more intense. Sustain the input and all sorts weird stuff can happen, mood swings, lengthy spells of depression, 'colds' that last forever and misfiring neurons - One of my mates freaked out badly in a cab once, convinced there was mouse running loose in his trousers. More commonly it feels like insects crawling all over (or under!) the skin. Never really understood the appeal, but some people really like it and Ruge is one of those by the looks of it. On the positive side, a couple of my mates came back from the edge after having kids - It's a real reason for knocking it all on the head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 To attempt to make a moral judgement is wrong and unproductive but we can still make the judgement call as to whether one choice is better than another. For my benefit, what's the difference between making a moral judgement and making a judgement call? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Well at least I've learned what 'puritanical' means today. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 it's like that garden place in Brum innit?... with the Peacocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 To attempt to make a moral judgement is wrong and unproductive but we can still make the judgement call as to whether one choice is better than another. For my benefit, what's the difference between making a moral judgement and making a judgement call? It would be the difference between saying that having unprotected sex with a heroin-using hooker is wrong because it is immoral and a judgement call as to whether you thought it was an unwise choice to make, or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 To attempt to make a moral judgement is wrong and unproductive but we can still make the judgement call as to whether one choice is better than another. For my benefit, what's the difference between making a moral judgement and making a judgement call? It would be the difference between saying that having unprotected sex with a heroin-using hooker is wrong because it is immoral and a judgement call as to whether you thought it was an unwise choice to make, or not. I'm still stuck. Is it the word 'moral' that's a problem? Or considering consequences beyond one's self? As in considering whether the other person is acting out of free will? I'd happily say it's very likely immoral to get with a junky prostitute, for instance if she was likely doing it out of unwilling necessity and doom laden back story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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