villaajax Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Sexcetera followed by Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps was standard post-drink viewing. I think you'd get alcohol poisoning long before you'd get drunk enough to bear watching that 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) While in the formative years of busting a nut into my fist, I found a VHS tape (which must have been my old man's) in the cupboard under the stairs. I don't know how, but I just knew it was Frankie Vaughan, even though it wasn't marked as such in anyway. As I was in the house on my own, I took advantage of the situation and sat down to study my newly found bounty of German scud. From that moment onwards I never missed an opportunity to watch that tape, when in the house on my own. It'd be nowt to boast about these days, but I used to be able to maximize even the shortest amounts of time to give that video a watch, while wearing no pants. Happy times. Edited February 12, 2014 by dAVe80 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I watched it recently enough and thought it was bloody awful. Just goes to show, don't do drugs, or you'll end up dead or laughing at shit comedies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I never used a sock or a 'wank rag', just tissues and I never put them in the bin. You always have to destroy the evidence. That's the third rule of Wank Club. So, you ate them? That's disgusting. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I've just remembered a wank-related story. I was once given a dvd player by my sister's boyfriend, when I plugged it in, there was a blank-looking, silver rewritable dvd in there. I pressed play, and it was a collection of porn. To this day, I don't know whether he put it in there as a.. gift?.. Or whether it was a big mistake. I like to think it's the latter, and that he once spent an afternoon looking for said dvd, until it dawned on him that he gave it to his sister's little brother, and then panic set in. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Was it of him and your sister? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCLaura Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I've just remembered a wank-related story. I was once given a dvd player by my sister's boyfriend, when I plugged it in, there was a blank-looking, silver rewritable dvd in there. I pressed play, and it was a collection of porn. To this day, I don't know whether he put it in there as a.. gift?.. Or whether it was a big mistake. I like to think it's the latter, and that he once spent an afternoon looking for said dvd, until it dawned on him that he gave it to his sister's little brother, and then panic set in. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I've just remembered a wank-related story. I was once given a dvd player by my sister's boyfriend, when I plugged it in, there was a blank-looking, silver rewritable dvd in there. I pressed play, and it was a collection of porn. To this day, I don't know whether he put it in there as a.. gift?.. Or whether it was a big mistake. I like to think it's the latter, and that he once spent an afternoon looking for said dvd, until it dawned on him that he gave it to his sister's little brother, and then panic set in. Hey, he's from Halesowen... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevangrealish Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I've just remembered a wank-related story. I was once given a dvd player by my sister's boyfriend, when I plugged it in, there was a blank-looking, silver rewritable dvd in there. I pressed play, and it was a collection of porn. To this day, I don't know whether he put it in there as a.. gift?.. Or whether it was a big mistake. I like to think it's the latter, and that he once spent an afternoon looking for said dvd, until it dawned on him that he gave it to his sister's little brother, and then panic set in. Hey, he's from Halesowen... O_o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I've just remembered a wank-related story. I was once given a dvd player by my sister's boyfriend, when I plugged it in, there was a blank-looking, silver rewritable dvd in there. I pressed play, and it was a collection of porn. To this day, I don't know whether he put it in there as a.. gift?.. Or whether it was a big mistake. I like to think it's the latter, and that he once spent an afternoon looking for said dvd, until it dawned on him that he gave it to his sister's little brother, and then panic set in. Hey, he's from Halesowen... Oi... Actually, fair enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 No it wasn't of him and my sister, I knew someone would say that! *His girlfriends little brother! Oops.. I read through that a fair few times just, thinking "there's nothing wrong with what I've typed".... Doh. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 My nan found my porn once, she binned it. Then awkwardly lectured me on not leaving my porn around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 My nan found my porn once, she binned it. Then awkwardly lectured me on not leaving my porn around. how embarrassing. I remember once when my grandparents popped out only to return because they had missed the bus to find me completely naked in the living room with a porn film on. felt like crawling up my own arse 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 13, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 13, 2014 That's so rookie. Always have an exit strategy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I remember the days of wanking to Eurotrash on a Friday night. Any glimpse of nipple or if very lucky, minge, and it was like a steel rod. I remember plotting my 'adventures' with a copy of the TV guide my parents got in the paper, if Eurotrash wasn't enough I'd sometimes have to stay awake until 2/3am on Channel 5 to catch anything worthwhile.. and that was on a hand-me-down TV that I think my Gran had owned since the 80s! When I finally discovered 'Laid Bare' on Bravo I often plucked up the courage to ask my parents if I could stay up to watch SkySports. Upon hearing a noise, I would instantly switch over to SkySports to be on the safe-side where it would often be WWF/WWE - I suppose I confirmed to myself at that tender age that I wouldn't be batting for the other team so to speak, as the sight of well-toned, oily men safely killed any 'excitement' as a result of the other channel! Stacey Kiebler versus Torrie Wilson in a bra panties match was worth a stroke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I remember the days of wanking to Eurotrash on a Friday night. Any glimpse of nipple or if very lucky, minge, and it was like a steel rod. I remember plotting my 'adventures' with a copy of the TV guide my parents got in the paper, if Eurotrash wasn't enough I'd sometimes have to stay awake until 2/3am on Channel 5 to catch anything worthwhile.. and that was on a hand-me-down TV that I think my Gran had owned since the 80s! When I finally discovered 'Laid Bare' on Bravo I often plucked up the courage to ask my parents if I could stay up to watch SkySports. Upon hearing a noise, I would instantly switch over to SkySports to be on the safe-side where it would often be WWF/WWE - I suppose I confirmed to myself at that tender age that I wouldn't be batting for the other team so to speak, as the sight of well-toned, oily men safely killed any 'excitement' as a result of the other channel! Stacey Kiebler versus Torrie Wilson in a bra panties match was worth a stroke. I used to do same, id get tv guide and hunt through whatever I could wank off to especially on a fiday night. remember once eagerly settling down to watch confessions of a window cleaner when I was young and lasting 10 mins. anyone remember those programmes on RTL2? they were awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonno_2004 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I caught my old man the once, luckily he was fully clothed and watching that harmless babestation programme but then proceeded to lecture me about it being something 'that every bloke will watch from time to time, even your dad' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 My nan found my porn once, she binned it. Then awkwardly lectured me on not leaving my porn around. how embarrassing. I remember once when my grandparents popped out only to return because they had missed the bus to find me completely naked in the living room with a porn film on. felt like crawling up my own arse You took ALL your clothes off? What about socks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 13, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 13, 2014 I used to get my dad to record WWF for me. Or rather, I'd set the timer, and tell him that when the PPV came on at 1:00 am he had to change the channel for me so that it would record the wrasslin' (this was obviously back in the day of video recorders, when it would record whatever was showing on the cable channel, so you had to have that set to the right one) One day I came down, turned on the video I'd been eagerly awaiting and was greeted with some weird softcore porn film. About 10 minutes in it suddenly changed to the wrestling. I can just imagine my dad's face as he realised it had been recording for 10 minutes without him realising! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I remember the days of wanking to Eurotrash on a Friday night. Any glimpse of nipple or if very lucky, minge, and it was like a steel rod. I remember plotting my 'adventures' with a copy of the TV guide my parents got in the paper, if Eurotrash wasn't enough I'd sometimes have to stay awake until 2/3am on Channel 5 to catch anything worthwhile.. and that was on a hand-me-down TV that I think my Gran had owned since the 80s! When I finally discovered 'Laid Bare' on Bravo I often plucked up the courage to ask my parents if I could stay up to watch SkySports. Upon hearing a noise, I would instantly switch over to SkySports to be on the safe-side where it would often be WWF/WWE - I suppose I confirmed to myself at that tender age that I wouldn't be batting for the other team so to speak, as the sight of well-toned, oily men safely killed any 'excitement' as a result of the other channel! Stacey Kiebler versus Torrie Wilson in a bra panties match was worth a stroke. I used to do same, id get tv guide and hunt through whatever I could wank off to especially on a fiday night. remember once eagerly settling down to watch confessions of a window cleaner when I was young and lasting 10 mins. anyone remember those programmes on RTL2? they were awesome RTL and SAT1 were a goldmine for soft porn. Tutti Frutti was a personal favourite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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