villaajax Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Anyone wanked outdoors? I mean, by yourself. I have. Refreshing. Yep. Wanked in a bush outside my Nan's house. Can't remember if it was before or after my visit. Wow, that whole dog thing doesn't seem as bad now. Anyone wanked outdoors? I mean, by yourself. I have. Refreshing. Isn't that illegal & punishable by law? So is driving over the limit, doesn't stop anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darrenm Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Anyone wanked outdoors? I mean, by yourself. I have. Refreshing. Pooped outside once. Thought no one else had ever done it so wouldn't ever admit it to anyone. Turns out every decker does. I was out on a long run and it was either pop in a field or have it down my leg. Amazing liberating experience. Incredible expulsion too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baselayers Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 You know...none of this surprises me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 You know...none of this surprises me! Yes, it really comes to something when this stuff seems tame. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post darrenm Posted February 13, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 13, 2014 Ever 'polished your medal' outside? ;-) 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 When I was about 14 my older brother gave me some porn mags when he moved out. I didn't know where to hide them, so decided to stuff them down the side of my bed and under an old suitcase, for easy access. I thought this was quite a good hiding place. A few months later and after copious amounts of use, the porn mags miraculously disappeared. Until this day, I'm not 100% sure what happened to them. I think my mum found them and threw them away, but equally, my stepdad could have found them...and kept them. Either way, I didn't bring the issue up at the time, and it's not something I feel like mentioning any time soon. 'By the way mum, you didn't happen to stumble across some porn mags under my bed when I was 14?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post darrenm Posted February 13, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 13, 2014 Not exactly a confession, more a funny story. Not sure I can be bothered to type it all out, but hey, I'm a bit bored. When I was 16 I used to stay over my then girlfriend's parents' house. In her room. They turned a blind eye to that sort of thing. So on the Saturday morning her dad (huge fat old bloke) takes her mom to work and the house is empty apart from her younger brother who's still in bed. She decides she'd like to have some action on the (hard wood) lounge floor downstairs. So the deed is actioned, and done. Me in the birthday suit and her with nothing but a t-shirt on. Then the front door starts to open. The dad has somehow come back early and the only route upstairs or out of the lounge is through the hall past the front door. I dive behind a 2 seater settee in front of a bay window and she squirms past her dad by pulling her t-shirt down. So I'm naked on my hands and knees crouched behind this tiny settee that her dad decides to sit down on. I still have my digital watch on and realise that in 45 minutes the alarm will go off. I can't switch it off because that would beep also. I just hope she's got a plan to get me out somehow. So half an hour goes by and then I hear a faint 'ow, ow, my leg' from the back garden. Turns out she's convinced her brother to pretend to have hurt his leg. The old geezer manages to get out the settee and shuffle outside while the GF runs in with some boxer shorts. I try to stand up and didn't realise my legs have gone completely to sleep so fall flat on my face. So I'm desperately trying to get my boxers on, lying on the floor with legs that won't work. I then start dragging myself along with my arms, through the hall and to the bottom of the stairs and disappear from view just as he rounds the corner back from the garden. I managed to drag myself upstairs to her bedroom in the nick of time. Great times. 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 haha! that's great I had a wank in the sea once because some fit birds were topless on the beach... no one suspected a thing.. muhahhaahahaha. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I remember thinking I was so hardcore for going on porn.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 You've masturbated!?!!?!?!?! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Nah, only alphas do that 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 haha! that's great I had a wank in the sea once because some fit birds were topless on the beach... no one suspected a thing.. muhahhaahahaha. Maybe they thought you were trout tickling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 haha! that's great I had a wank in the sea once because some fit birds were topless on the beach... no one suspected a thing.. muhahhaahahaha. Maybe they thought you were trout tickling. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I've had sex in a swimming pool (no one else was there bar us) and in the sea (we were surrounded by quite a lot of people). Memorable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I skim the Daily Mail page every day to see what reactionary nonsense the stupid are bring indoctrinated with. Probably one for the 'Boring Thread' actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samjp26 Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 So many of these masturbation confessions seem to be related to grandmothers some how. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Kazaa! I'd forgotten all about that. Limewire FTW! Back to wank confessions. I once wanked in the bathroom of a hotel room while my parents were not more than 2 feet away, the other side of the door (Portugal family holiday I think) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Napster? I've wanked in a YMCA room, on the top bunk, whilst my brother was on the bottom bunk and my mom and dad were in the bed next to the bunk - they were asleep, and I had one of the first copies of Nuts magazine. Risque no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hogso Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Would've been more risqué if you'd all been in bed together 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villarule123 Posted February 15, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 15, 2014 Not exactly a confession, more a funny story. Not sure I can be bothered to type it all out, but hey, I'm a bit bored. When I was 16 I used to stay over my then girlfriend's parents' house. In her room. They turned a blind eye to that sort of thing. So on the Saturday morning her dad (huge fat old bloke) takes her mom to work and the house is empty apart from her younger brother who's still in bed. She decides she'd like to have some action on the (hard wood) lounge floor downstairs. So the deed is actioned, and done. Me in the birthday suit and her with nothing but a t-shirt on. Then the front door starts to open. The dad has somehow come back early and the only route upstairs or out of the lounge is through the hall past the front door. I dive behind a 2 seater settee in front of a bay window and she squirms past her dad by pulling her t-shirt down. So I'm naked on my hands and knees crouched behind this tiny settee that her dad decides to sit down on. I still have my digital watch on and realise that in 45 minutes the alarm will go off. I can't switch it off because that would beep also. I just hope she's got a plan to get me out somehow. So half an hour goes by and then I hear a faint 'ow, ow, my leg' from the back garden. Turns out she's convinced her brother to pretend to have hurt his leg. The old geezer manages to get out the settee and shuffle outside while the GF runs in with some boxer shorts. I try to stand up and didn't realise my legs have gone completely to sleep so fall flat on my face. So I'm desperately trying to get my boxers on, lying on the floor with legs that won't work. I then start dragging myself along with my arms, through the hall and to the bottom of the stairs and disappear from view just as he rounds the corner back from the garden. I managed to drag myself upstairs to her bedroom in the nick of time. Great times. When I was 17 my girlfriend's (now wife) little brother caught her on top of me stark naked, in the middle of a holiday hotel bathroom. From where he was standing the only thing he would have seen was a cock going up his sister The little shit told their mum, luckily she's one of the good ones and found the whole episode hilarious. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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