Xela Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Have I just revealed a teenage wank story in a car thread..? There is a time and a place for wank stories and its not in the middle of a Volkswagen engine and diagnostic faults forum! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Risso Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 I didn't realise there was snow on the road this morning, went to overtake somebody, then realised what a huge and nearly catastrophic mistake this was when I snaked all over the road in my rear wheel drive car. Then had to drive in the snow at 10mph with the car I'd just overtaken right up my backside. Laughing at me and giving me the Nescafe hand signal, no doubt. I was too embarrassed to look in the rear view mirror. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted February 11, 2014 Moderator Share Posted February 11, 2014 I didn't realise there was snow on the road this morning, went to overtake somebody, then realised what a huge and nearly catastrophic mistake this was when I snaked all over the road in my rear wheel drive car. Then had to drive in the snow at 10mph with the car I'd just overtaken right up my backside. Laughing at me and giving me the Nescafe hand signal, no doubt. I was too embarrassed to look in the rear view mirror.Snow doubt its a beamer. I love beamer drivers in the snow, they make me laugh heartily 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mykeyb Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 What colour tarmac do they use round your area Risso Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Risso Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I didn't realise there was snow on the road this morning, went to overtake somebody, then realised what a huge and nearly catastrophic mistake this was when I snaked all over the road in my rear wheel drive car. Then had to drive in the snow at 10mph with the car I'd just overtaken right up my backside. Laughing at me and giving me the Nescafe hand signal, no doubt. I was too embarrassed to look in the rear view mirror. Snow doubt its a beamer. I love beamer drivers in the snow, they make me laugh heartily It is indeed. And you're right, they're worse than useless in the snow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Risso Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 What colour tarmac do they use round your area Risso Fair question and I can see what you're getting at. But in my defence, the road went from no snow to a fair bit of muddy slush in about 100 yards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 12, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 12, 2014 When I first became, erm... Sexually developed, I used to masturbate to "the box" because music videos were the only remotely sexy thing I could find on our TV. Plus, I used to wipe the... Remnants... Down the inside of the chair under the cushion. Then my mom was cleaning one day and found the huge horrible dry patch of man mayonnaise and asked me what it was. I thought, at the time, that I'd successfully convinced her that I'd spilt her moisturiser down there. But I bet she knew... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCLaura Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 When I first became, erm... Sexually developed, I used to masturbate to "the box" because music videos were the only remotely sexy thing I could find on our TV. Plus, I used to wipe the... Remnants... Down the inside of the chair under the cushion. Then my mom was cleaning one day and found the huge horrible dry patch of man mayonnaise and asked me what it was. I thought, at the time, that I'd successfully convinced her that I'd spilt her moisturiser down there. But I bet she knew... I used to fancy you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 12, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 12, 2014 When I first became, erm... Sexually developed, I used to masturbate to "the box" because music videos were the only remotely sexy thing I could find on our TV. Plus, I used to wipe the... Remnants... Down the inside of the chair under the cushion. Then my mom was cleaning one day and found the huge horrible dry patch of man mayonnaise and asked me what it was. I thought, at the time, that I'd successfully convinced her that I'd spilt her moisturiser down there. But I bet she knew... I used to fancy you. This just proves my theory that everyone called Laura fancies me 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 When I first became, erm... Sexually developed, I used to masturbate to "the box" because music videos were the only remotely sexy thing I could find on our TV. Plus, I used to wipe the... Remnants... Down the inside of the chair under the cushion. Then my mom was cleaning one day and found the huge horrible dry patch of man mayonnaise and asked me what it was. I thought, at the time, that I'd successfully convinced her that I'd spilt her moisturiser down there. But I bet she knew... I used to fancy you. The most embarrassing confession I've read in here. /thread 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) Haha nice one Stevo. On a similar note, I used to have a wank rag. An old white t-shirt that I used to clear myself up after nighttime (and morning) J Arthur's. I used to keep it in my bottom desk drawer. It got to a point where it went yellow. One day I went to get it out in preparation of a tommy tank and it was gone. Edited February 12, 2014 by Xela 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 When I was like 15/16, I used to trim my pubes with the kitchen scissors and put all the pubes in a sock. I put that sock back in my sock draw every time for some reason. About a year after I'd stopped doing that, I took my socks off in the lounge and this perfectly rounded ball of pubes appeared on the lounge carpet right in front of my dad. It sat there for like an hour because it was too awkward to do anything. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCLaura Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 This has now turned into the world's most disturbing thread. Have you guys never heard of tissues or bins? Jesus. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 12, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 12, 2014 This has now turned into the world's most disturbing thread. Have you guys never heard of tissues or bins? Jesus. I have now. But when you're like, 12, you do stupid things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 12? I was 27... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 This was a disturbing thread long before tales of cum stained t-shirts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted February 12, 2014 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted February 12, 2014 Cum being in socks as opposed to relatives is, quite frankly, a huge respite 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) Seriously, I don't have anything awesomely weird that I did as a teenager. I was a bit of a strange kid though. When I was about three my parents took me to a speech therapist because I didn't talk. It wasn't that I couldn't, I just refused to. It was just a phase according to the therapist. She was right, just try and shut me up now. But yeah, that's about it. I never used a sock or a 'wank rag', just tissues and I never put them in the bin. You always have to destroy the evidence. That's the third rule of Wank Club. Edited February 12, 2014 by Ginko 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Selective mute? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 When I first became, erm... Sexually developed, I used to masturbate to "the box" Kids nowadays have no idea how lucky they are. But then they'll never get the thrill of finding your Nan's copy of the News of the World unguarded in the dining room. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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