MCU Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Seem to be stuck in a cycle where I'm angry or upset over something in the relationship, take a few days to get over it, a few days of happiness where I think 'this is great' and then she pisses me off again and the cycle happens again. All the petty little spats are starting to wear me down. I spend half the time thinking I'm really happy and the other half annoyed & wishing things were different. So confusing This is what caused me to end my 3 year relationship. Except the arguing was a little more frequent. Utter shit. Just don't do anything you'll regret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Seem to be stuck in a cycle where I'm angry or upset over something in the relationship, take a few days to get over it, a few days of happiness where I think 'this is great' and then she pisses me off again and the cycle happens again. All the petty little spats are starting to wear me down. I spend half the time thinking I'm really happy and the other half annoyed & wishing things were different. So confusing DHUTWU 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 very wise words from rob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Seem to be stuck in a cycle where I'm angry or upset over something in the relationship, take a few days to get over it, a few days of happiness where I think 'this is great' and then she pisses me off again and the cycle happens again. All the petty little spats are starting to wear me down. I spend half the time thinking I'm really happy and the other half annoyed & wishing things were different. So confusing DHUTWU 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baselayers Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Seem to be stuck in a cycle where I'm angry or upset over something in the relationship, take a few days to get over it, a few days of happiness where I think 'this is great' and then she pisses me off again and the cycle happens again. All the petty little spats are starting to wear me down. I spend half the time thinking I'm really happy and the other half annoyed & wishing things were different. So confusing Would you like a hug? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Seem to be stuck in a cycle where I'm angry or upset over something in the relationship, take a few days to get over it, a few days of happiness where I think 'this is great' and then she pisses me off again and the cycle happens again. All the petty little spats are starting to wear me down. I spend half the time thinking I'm really happy and the other half annoyed & wishing things were different. So confusing Would you like a hug? I think you know the answer to that. Nearly spent the night at my mums last night, instead settled for the edge of the bed. Bit frosty this morning. Will give it a bit of time to see if it works itself out first instead of making any rash decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Was there any particular trigger? Or just a load of little things bubbling up? You talked about it to your missus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 A load of niggly petty things that over the last 10 months have slowly wore me down. We've kind of talked about it all but have differing opinions on it which has just increased the awkwardness. Think we will give it a few months to sort itself out then go from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 A load of niggly petty things that over the last 10 months have slowly wore me down. We've kind of talked about it all but have differing opinions on it which has just increased the awkwardness. Think we will give it a few months to sort itself out then go from there. Yes! Jenny will soon be mine! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baselayers Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Bwahaha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Folski Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 So my girlfriend has told me she needs some space, and doesn't want me to talk to her for the whole of today, she's been really down at times recently and I've felt absolutely helpless about it as nothing I seem to do works. I think a lot of it is down to the fact that she used be so active going to the gym and running but she has these spells where she gets really down, and it's usually on a Sunday night before work the following week, but she'll have basically done nothing all day, and I just think she's in so much better form when she's active and busy. She's my best friend & we talk several times a day, she said it's just one day and it's not a big deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 So my girlfriend has told me she needs some space, and doesn't want me to talk to her for the whole of today, she's been really down at times recently and I've felt absolutely helpless about it as nothing I seem to do works. I think a lot of it is down to the fact that she used be so active going to the gym and running but she has these spells where she gets really down, and it's usually on a Sunday night before work the following week, but she'll have basically done nothing all day, and I just think she's in so much better form when she's active and busy. She's my best friend & we talk several times a day, she said it's just one day and it's not a big deal. Ok, I may have misread the post (hope not I've read it 3 times to be certain) but don't you find this a little odd? "Please absolutely don't speak to me for the whole of today" "Its just one day and not a big deal" is very strange behaviour. I don't want to put ideas in your head or make you look for things that aren't there, but based on what you have said and the information available to me..... are you sure she's not seeing someone else? Seems like a very convenient way to keep someone who regularly contacts you away for a day thus allowing her to do whatever she wants to do without question or the worry of being interrupted? This approach also raises less of a suspicion that she is up to something rather than ignoring/rejecting her calls? My advice? Text/call her. Just once. Tell her that you are there for her if she wants to talk and that she is not going through this alone.... and then leave it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Folski Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 So my girlfriend has told me she needs some space, and doesn't want me to talk to her for the whole of today, she's been really down at times recently and I've felt absolutely helpless about it as nothing I seem to do works. I think a lot of it is down to the fact that she used be so active going to the gym and running but she has these spells where she gets really down, and it's usually on a Sunday night before work the following week, but she'll have basically done nothing all day, and I just think she's in so much better form when she's active and busy. She's my best friend & we talk several times a day, she said it's just one day and it's not a big deal. Ok, I may have misread the post (hope not I've read it 3 times to be certain) but don't you find this a little odd? "Please absolutely don't speak to me for the whole of today" "Its just one day and not a big deal" is very strange behaviour. I don't want to put ideas in your head or make you look for things that aren't there, but based on what you have said and the information available to me..... are you sure she's not seeing someone else? Seems like a very convenient way to keep someone who regularly contacts you away for a day thus allowing her to do whatever she wants to do without question or the worry of being interrupted? This approach also raises less of a suspicion that she is up to something rather than ignoring/rejecting her calls? My advice? Text/call her. Just once. Tell her that you are there for her if she wants to talk and that she is not going through this alone.... and then leave it. 100% Eames buddy, she's just been really sad lately. She's been very cranky with me, extremely, (which I've been taking on the chin) and said she wants to get her head right because it's not fair to me, that she's always being cranky, that she's at me all the time. I met her on way to work and walked her down but too of us were pretty sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarjei Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 I struggle with depression and I often feel like that. I absolutely can't stand being around people at times, and I force the issue as I turn of my phone and don't log in to any email or social sites. If that the case with her, then keep away and be patient. She needs to find the motivation herself, and forcing activities upon her will make her withdraw more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCU Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 (edited) So I've been split with my ex for about 2 months now and I am slowly starting to feel better. I still think about her everyday and I honestly don't expect that to shift anytime soon. We've been going NC too which has been the saviour. However, yesterday she randomly texts saying she's in the area tomorrow so will drop off the rest of my things. I text her this morning to check she was coming still and she said 'no, the house warming party got cancelled'. Anyway a couple of texts later after I suggested meeting half way, she decides she's driving down and will leave the stuff in my letterbox and outside my flat door but was very insistent she didn't want to see me. This was after I did the genuine thing and offered her 'over text' if she'd like to come in for a drink/pee break etc and again she said 'I don't want to see you'. I asked her why and she said 'can you blame me after what you've said to me' which rightly so after we broke up I had an emotional dig at her, as most people probably would, but it was nothing out of the ordinary. I was in pieces. And then her final text was 'don't text me again'. I've been doing so well but today has just knocked me down again. I can totally understand her wishes but I think this has just confirmed I'm probably NEVER going to see/hear from her again which is a bit... weird? She was my first love and I honestly thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this girl. She loved the absolute bones off me. But since we started living together there was too much arguing and I had to cut it off for the best. I know it's hard to give advice in a situation like this, but anyone? Edited May 24, 2014 by Warnock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 time just days, weeks and months on the clock will make it less bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Text back: **** off you self righteous word removed. Go **** yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCU Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Text back: **** off you self righteous word removed. Go **** yourself. Was so tempted man... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Nah, don't resort to childishness. Do some work, occupy the mind and give it time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frobisher Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 (edited) So I've been split with my ex for about 2 months now and I am slowly starting to feel better. I still think about her everyday and I honestly don't expect that to shift anytime soon. We've been going NC too which has been the saviour. However, yesterday she randomly texts saying she's in the area tomorrow so will drop off the rest of my things. I text her this morning to check she was coming still and she said 'no, the house warming party got cancelled'. Anyway a couple of texts later after I suggested meeting half way, she decides she's driving down and will leave the stuff in my letterbox and outside my flat door but was very insistent she didn't want to see me. This was after I did the genuine thing and offered her 'over text' if she'd like to come in for a drink/pee break etc and again she said 'I don't want to see you'. I asked her why and she said 'can you blame me after what you've said to me' which rightly so after we broke up I had an emotional dig at her, as most people probably would, but it was nothing out of the ordinary. I was in pieces. And then her final text was 'don't text me again'. I've been doing so well but today has just knocked me down again. I can totally understand her wishes but I think this has just confirmed I'm probably NEVER going to see/hear from her again which is a bit... weird? She was my first love and I honestly thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this girl. She loved the absolute bones off me. But since we started living together there was too much arguing and I had to cut it off for the best. I know it's hard to give advice in a situation like this, but anyone? It doesn't seem like it, but she is doing you a favour. Seeing her again at this stage will just reawaken a load of old feelings. It's tough but you will get through it; we all do. I went through a very similar scenario with my first love and it took me a very long time to get over. For months and months I clung to the hope we would somehow be reconciled one day, but gradually I realised that this wasn't going to happen and started getting on with life again. I think my main point is, it will be shit for a while but you will be fine, and indeed, stronger for having been through this. Edited May 24, 2014 by stwefano 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts