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tarjei

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  1. Back on page 15 in this thread I made a post. Logging on today I was reminded of it as someone had hit the reaction button on it. Coincidentally it's exactly a year ago today. It feels like forever ago. So much has happened! Back then I had hit rock-bottom, and I had just recently made an effort to make some needed changes. I had stopped drinking, gone to the doctor, the employment agency, started exercising, etc. Since then it's been one step after another in the right direction. It's a bit difficult to remember what I came from, it feels so distant. First off I started exercising, walking, hiking, and in general being active and getting lots of sunlight and fresh air each day. I needed something to entertain myself on my long walks so I started listening to audio books and podcasts. I came across Dr Robert Glover's No More Mr Nice Guy, and it was a revelation to me. It explained so much. My absent father and lack of male role models and subsequent adorning of females, my people-pleasing personality, my debilitating fear of rejection, and on and on. I think the most crucial aspect of it, was cluing me in to how afraid I have been all my life, and how I have let anxiety limit my life to the point where really, depression was inevitable. I started listening to podcasts by a lifecoach-type guy from New Zealand that delved deeper into the same subjects as the book, and the way he turned my perspective around, however subtle, was life changing. (they are freely available, so if anyone's interest is peaked let me know) Instead of running in the opposite direction as soon as I felt anxious or fearful, stressed or nervous, I started seeing those feelings as a compass of where I could go next to improve myself, grow, learn and gain confidence. I got in to a work program, a 80% position at the local paper. First as a photographer. The editor wanted me to try writing, and although my whole body resisted, I was writing stories within a couple weeks. Fast forward a few months and I had broken records at the paper on the amount of time people spent reading a story, as I had written a long portrait about a drug addict with bipolar disorder, and I wrote a piece where I tracked the recycling and garbage from our small city, out into the world. Now I'm so much more clued into the workings of our city and have gotten a large amount of good relationships in all areas of business and education through the work I've done. I feel like I am a part of something, not separate from it. I started dating. I took a leap of faith and traveled to Hungary to stay with a girl I had only been to a couple of dates with. We had a great long weekend. In the end it didn't work out, but it was fun and exhilarating. I got a girlfriend later on, and for the first time ever I felt like there was an "us". I've been in relationships before, but I don't think I've ever opened up properly. Whereas before I thought I was devoid of feelings and unable to connect, now I saw that I was filled to the brim; I had just repressed it because of fear. The relationship ended a couple of months ago, but truly, it was the best experience I've had and I'm thankful for it. Every autumn and winter since I was a teenager I have gotten heavily depressed. This year, after the relationship ended, I started feeling like I was about to dive into that black hole again. It was hard to fall asleep at night, work became a drain on my energy. It went on for a few weeks, getting progressively harder to go on. I started doing indoor sports climbing back in April. I signed up to a course by myself, and made a point of talking to and getting to know everyone at the course, for the simple reason that speaking to strangers have always terrified me. Turns out it was easy and most people there were relieved and happy to get to know new people. We became a close-knit group of complete strangers that went climbing 2-3 days a week, but as I could feel the seasonal depression coming on, I lost the will to go there, progression stalled, and I started feeling fear when I was climbing. In a moment of clarity I decided I would go all-in and focus everything on making progressions as a climber. Eating, sleeping and cardio, strength and mobility exercising was now all about becoming a better climber. I think that made a big difference. The stress that had built up and my need for isolation vanished, as I focused my all on one thing that made me happy. I think that will be an important thing to remember for me going forward. I recently read Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and I wholeheartedly agree that it's important to chose a limited amount of things in your life that you care about, and then let go of the rest, and especially, to let go of the things you can't control, and shake the negative feelings they bring - to stop that feedback loop of where you tell yourself all the things you need to be great at, and then punish yourself every time you diverge from the plan of becoming this perfect being that can do everything. Focusing in on climbing, I could put my head on the pillow at night and retrace my last session, plan my next day, and think of the problems I could solve in the future, and feel asleep before I got that far. When work felt hard, I could look at my hands and my calluses and blisters, feel the strain the last session had on my forearm tendons, and the stress would melt away in doing so. Going forward the work program will end in March, but it looks like it will be extended to June. I've gotten an offer of a 40% position at a new startup firm that profiles and does content marketing for local food producers (and is expanding in to other areas of business). I will combine it with my work at the paper. I'm also working with a local beer brewery here and a firm that does closed water heating- and cooling systems, and it might just be that I'm working full time by the time the work program is completed. Exciting times! Anti-depressive drugs never had an effect on me. And I think that's important to realize that depression is usually the symptom of something else. It's easy to think "I am this way", or "I am prone to this", and that's how it is. But I think often people are stuck in a pattern of thinking and behaving that limits them, and that they can't recognize or get out of themselves. I was lucky to find literature that helped me. Others might need a psychologist to find that outside perspective. I've learned a lot about myself since this last year. I think the most important thing is that I need to approach anxiety like it's a tool for growth. I need to express my feeling, and not let them simmer inside of me and morph into something else. I also need to be okay with my imperfections and take ownership of my life situation and all the ways that I'm vulnerable. Nobody is prefect, and people don't like those that try to be, or those that attempt to hide in plain sight. I have a long way to go still, but I look at myself now and I laugh a bit, because I'm weird and it's funny and that's okay.
  2. I've been looking at day traders though various media for a while now, and the charts they draw up are very often spot on and predictions are often good. Reading and understanding the graphs and then applying the correct tools I find very difficult though. I did the same with Flixxo, using a FIB retracement, and it shows it will rise to just below 8k satoshi before a small dip, then a big jump to 10.5k satoshi. At current price of BTC that means the correction will be around $1.50-$1.60 I'm just writing this down to see I'm reading it correctly, or how wrong I am
  3. I'm trying to look at charts and draw my own to see if I can make good decisions. I'm very new to this, so do no take this serious. So here it looks to be at the bottom of an Elliott wave. And that it will go up from here. Dunno if I'm talking nonsense though Candles are 4 hours
  4. Consensus seems to be that today's dip was caused by Coin Market Cap removing Korean exchanges from their calculations. Prices fell a bit, people panicked/saw opportunity, and prices fell a whole lot more. DBC didn't drop that much. Even made it to top 100 today. It will be listed on Huobi this week, I think it's reasonable to expect it to rise. Red Pulse (RPX) will be listed there tomorrow, so I'll be following that to see what happens. Edit: RPX-listing was earlier today actually. It's up nearly 40% since then.
  5. Flixxo looked very interesting. I got in just now at this latest mini-dip at $0.75. Traded with ETH when it was at all time high. I also took a punt on DBC yesterday on KuCoin.
  6. I've been buying on the way down. I started at $16k, bought more at $15k and now bought a little bit at $13.5k. I keep thinking it has hit it's low. In the long run I guess it doesn't make a big difference
  7. Bitcoin is approaching $20k, surely the intrest in it will peak again as it reaches the news?
  8. This was mentioned in a couple of posts I saw yesterday. Google trends graph for the search words "buy bitcoin with credit card"
  9. Up 45% in less than 20 hours! When they were at its lowest during the weekend I made myself a promise of following the news and looking at the charts for at least week before I got involved. I've been compulsively looking at the prices now and seeing all that potential profit go by. Still, I get the impression that this simply is not a good time to invest. It can't possibly go on like this?
  10. If you are using the phone app you could try, going to settings and then identity verification. There you can submit new verification by hitting the + This also took care of a stalled Gdax verification for me.
  11. I guess that is up to everyone to decide for themselves. I'm just looking at the numbers with my very limited understanding. Since it's massive rise yesterday it's been going down at a steady rate. Many sitting on the fence until monday maybe? If BTC goes down, is it likely that there will be a rise with the other currencies?
  12. I want to get into this, but I feel like now that everything is up, I should wait for it to go down a bit. Maybe tomorrow or monday will be a big day? I signed up to coinbase, but in the process of getting verified on Gdax as I'm told there is less transaction fees on it. Oh, and I tried ethereum mining. I made about 0.04 USD worth of it in 2 hours!
  13. Jumping Reach is how high the player can reach in the air. It's both height and jumping in one stat. Heading is a technical attribute and has no bearing on whether the player wins headers, only his ability to head the ball. I've taken a long break from FM. I keep getting an itch to start back up again though. However I keep booting up the game, starting a new career, having a look at the squad of whatever team that has tickled my fancy... and then I realize this is gonna take forever and I just can't be bothered running this slow race. Am I cured, guys?
  14. tarjei

    Gym Routine

    @JBI watched a couple of videos with Alan Aragon. Got any recommendation of what to look at or read? From the interview I saw I don't disagree with him at all. He basically talked about carbs being important for high intensity training and athletes. He said weight loss were equal if you took into account the protein intake. Now, not considering Taubes in this as he takes it a bit far, Aragon doesn't really talk about people struggling with obesity, are pre-diabetic, etc. He's talking about people who have their diet in order and need to fine tune it for best results. That's the first impression anyway. I don't really see a problem in accepting that both diets have their benefits and drawbacks for different situations.
  15. tarjei

    Gym Routine

    Yes, I think we can all agree on that. I didn't realize it would spark a debate, really, and I regret mentioning it as it triggered my anxiety a bit. Couldn't get much sleep as my mind was occupied by ruminating thoughts. For a very easy introduction there is a documentary on the subject freely available on youtube called CarbLoaded if you are interested. I guess with JB's perspective in mind and the fact a few of the names he mentions makes an appearance, skepticism is probably a good friend when watching it. It's not about ketogenic diets specifically but deals with how the current nutritional beliefs came about, the effects it has had on society and there is a lot of info on how the body responds to foods, but explained in a very simplistic manner.
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