Rugeley Villa Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 P.s if your partner had done some of the things that mine has done to me, then you would have to be a saint not to have some hatred. But we don't bring it up now and we try and put it behind us as best as we can. And I'm not on about cheating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 40k is a very nice wage for the year. I think it is the bare minimum for what i'd describe as living a decent standard of life. I guess it is subjective though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 P.s if your partner had done some of the things that mine has done to me, then you would have to be a saint not to have some hatred. But we don't bring it up now and we try and put it behind us as best as we can. And I'm not on about cheating. Not knocking you mate, but you've obviously been through a lot with your missus, so why did you decide to have a second child with her? Was it planned? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I'm really sorry ginko, I thought you were ha. Sorry mate I do apologise. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 40k is a very nice wage for the year. I think it is the bare minimum for what i'd describe as living a decent standard of life. I guess it is subjective though. yeah I'd go with that to a degree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 P.s if your partner had done some of the things that mine has done to me, then you would have to be a saint not to have some hatred. But we don't bring it up now and we try and put it behind us as best as we can. And I'm not on about cheating. Not knocking you mate, but you've obviously been through a lot with your missus, so why did you decide to have a second child with her? Was it planned? its a long complicated story which I'll explain later when I have more time. I'm surprised I ay been in this thread a lot more than I have. Been a very rocky relationship which I've played my part in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I'm really sorry ginko, I thought you were ha. Sorry mate I do apologise. Ha, s'all good mate, no worries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hogso Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 (edited) First thing's first, nobody's made the guy the victim or the woman shrew apart from you. I'm not saying the guy hasn't agreed, just that he appears to have made his life miserable as a result. The way it sounds (from him) is that he has no say. She makes the decisions. The baby thing. Unless he's lying (why would you about that?) she decided they were having a baby so came off the pill without consulting him. That's weird. He's also told my gf on more than one occasion that he's jealous of me because my girlfriend and I don't particularly care what each other do. (I don't think that's a bragging point. It's just trust, and he appears to be afforded none by his wife) None of your explanations above explained the apparent fact that he's not allowed to even know other females. I'm not necessarily blaming the woman, I'm blaming him for being scared of her. If that was my relationship, I'd end it. That is probably the most salient factor. It seems likely that you might have missed the point your missus was actually making, which I did too. It seems likely that she told you about this guy to vicariously remind you and herself what a really great relationship you have and how lucky you are to have each other. ... :-/ ... Edited June 3, 2014 by hogso Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 40k is a very nice wage for the year. I think it is the bare minimum for what i'd describe as living a decent standard of life. I guess it is subjective though. You must have high standards. I'm on no where near that and feel I have a good standard of life. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 40k is a very nice wage for the year. I think it is the bare minimum for what i'd describe as living a decent standard of life. I guess it is subjective though. At the risk of taking things off topic, but seriously? I'm on no where near that. I guess I need to up my game. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 40k is a very nice wage for the year. I think it is the bare minimum for what i'd describe as living a decent standard of life. I guess it is subjective though. At the risk of taking things off topic, but seriously? I'm on no where near that. I guess I need to up my game. A single person earning £40k is in the top 20% of earners in the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted June 3, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted June 3, 2014 I assumed he was talking about a household income, and with dependants. Fwiw I'd agree with him. I'm on more than that but if I had to support a wife and a kid with no extra money I'd have to seriously cut back, and I don't exactly have a flash lifestyle now!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Folski Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 40k is a very nice wage for the year. I think it is the bare minimum for what i'd describe as living a decent standard of life. I guess it is subjective though. At the risk of taking things off topic, but seriously? I'm on no where near that. I guess I need to up my game. He did say for a household, so I'd imagine 20k each was what he meant? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corcaigh Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Was in here around Christmas talking about my friend who lets his girlfriend walk all over him, she'd kissed a lot of fellas behind his back but he'd get depressed shrug it off and take her back. I haven't seen him in months mainly due to him being glued to this girl, who has a child that isn't his. He's 24, she's 21, the kid is 5. That child's father wants nothing to do with it really, and my friend is going out with the girl just under 2 years and is basically her step dad. He's constantly giving her money, money that he doesn't have. He owes one of our friends, who has no job at the moment but is too nice to ask for it, about 200 quid since last September, but if she rings he'll sort something for her, be it off one of his sisters or his dad. Anyway, he just text me 20mins ago saying she cheated on him last night, and slept with someone, (first time she's done that or at least told him she's done it) I asked him what he's going to do & he said he doesn't know. I really think he needs to come to the understanding that she's a heartless bitch by himself or should I be pushing him in the right direction? What's wrong with this buddy of yours? why's he such a wet blanket? Surely Family & Friends have sat him down and laid it out to him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rugeley Villa Posted June 3, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted June 3, 2014 right then im a bit nervous about opening myself up like this, but here it goes. before me and my mrs got together we knew of each other, I was 26 when I got with her and she was 21. we had fancied the arse off each other for years and I always wished I could get with her, but that's all it was in my eyes just a wish because she was and still is absolutely stunning. id never think she would look at me because I thought she was out of my league. im just a normal looking bloke, some women liked me and some didn't, everypne fancied my partner though. anyway we ended up getting together, at the time I was desperate to be in a relationship because id had enough of being single, id done a lot of drugs,drank a lot of booze and slept with a lot of women. but I was sick of that lifestyle and wanted to settle down . my partner had not long come out of a relationship, she was one of those people that had to be with someone. she hated being single, where I had been single for a bit. anyway I was known as a bit of a wild one and I hung around with riff raff. id been in trouble with the law and been to prison, a lot of my mates were the same. my mrs knew I was a bit of a lad but she liked it, she was a drinker and drug user at the time although she wernt addicted like me, and we used to binge a lot . its fair to say I could not handle being in a relationship with her at the start, I started drinking more to impress her and started playing the mad man to try and impress her because that's what I thought she expected. I had zero confidence without booze and drugs and could not see why she was with me, I did not have any love for myself what so ever. now I had a bad temper in my teens up until my mid 20s, I was a terrible drunk and things started getting out of control. things started getting violent between us and I was the one being violent, its fair to say when I was drunk she was scared of me. I would break down in tears after id hit her and would be a mess, I just could not deal with being in a relationship. plus id got a few issues from my childhood that were unanswered and still are to this day. no excuse I know but im just being as honest as I can. my drug use was escalating to a point which was bothering my partner so I did stop doing a few things I was doing at the time, I was heavily involved in injecting cocaine. I was really bad at one point, ive never touched heroin, cocaine was my drug. anyway a month into the relationship I stop injecting and im glad to say ive been clean from that ever since. I still crave it now and again but I know I cant go back down that road. even through all this we were in love and she ended up proposing, from when we got engaged to when we got un engaged we split up that many times it was unreal, mainly down to my drinking and being a clearing in the woods. fast forward a bit and now my partner was putting a ban on me going out or even drinking, imo she took it to far and she admits it. those few months were miserable as sin and in the end I ended up going on an all dayer which then turned into me cheating on her that night, she forgave me a week later and we got back together. fast forward a bit more and she cheated on me as payback because yet again id gone awol on a bender and she thought I was with another girl. I forgave her straight away and we tried to put all this shit behind us, the violence had stopped early in our relationship and ive never laid another finger on her since and never will again. sometimes she has attacked me in the past but I managed to control myself, id like to point out that I have gone to great lenghs to sorting out my temper and im a much better person now, don't get me wrong I still can be violent if someone pushes me to far but as a whole im very laid back now. anyway we decided we wanted kids and after 5 miscarriages which happened early in the pregnancy we eventually got lucky and had our little boy lenny, he means the world to us and is without doubt the best thing that has ever happened to us. we are both good parents I think, we have made mistakes especially me but he has a good life and upbringing. unfortunately my drug use still continued on and off and still does to this day, I only snort coke remember, I stopped injecting years ago. I admit there has been times when ive put drink and drugs infront of my family, this one time it happened my partner gpt this big blown up picture of me and my gran and ripped it up infront of me and my granddad. she purposely came up to where we were and ripped it up. she regreted it but that's the one thing I still to this day have trouble dealing with. me and my gran were very close, we were each others world. she died of a long battle with cancer 3 years ago. my partner was that angry at me she went to those lenghs to hurt me, and it did. fast forward even further and it came out that my partner had cheated again when I went off on another bender. yet again I forgave her because I loved her and still believed in us. fast forward to the last year and we have calmed down a lot and have tried to put all this behind us, the pregnancy this time was an accident but we decided to keep it and were happy about it. I hope you don't judge me or my partner for our mistakes, I haven't gone into detail about everything and I aint told everything purely because id be here all night. we have put up with a lot off each other but were still standing, we love each other and we love our family. shes helped me with my drinking and drug use and one or two other things which have happened in my life. she a caring person who adores me. I have changed a lot , I don't use drugs as much or drink as much nowadays and my temper is at a normal level. yeah we still scream and shout sometimes but that's normal. ive damaged the whole set up of my brain from heavy cocaine use. I struggle with my sex drive,emotional connection and depression at times from it. we believe we will be together forever and raise our family with a lot of love. we still have a lot of work to do to get where we want to be but im sure we will get there. ive been a bad person at times in the past but even in those bad times I wernt that bad as a person I just got messed up sometimes, I think im a much better person now and I think my partner is. sorry about the long post, just thought it would give a inside view of a turbulent relationship like ours. very nervous about peoples reactions but I wernt going to lie. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Sounds like you two have been through a lot, RV. Hopefully you two have been through the worst of it and things just keep getting better and better from here on in. I'm sure having kids involved now has put things even more into perspective for you and I hope it gives you that extra push to kick the occasional drug use or drinking binge. I'm not going to pretend I know anything about addiction, I'm fortunate to not have experienced anything like that, but I know it's a very difficult thing to deal with. It sounds like you and your lady are headed in the right direction though. Thanks for sharing anyway, that took guts to get that off your chest. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Wall of bloody text!!!!!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted June 3, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted June 3, 2014 R.I.P Paragraphs. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villarule123 Posted June 3, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted June 3, 2014 There's no way in hell I'm reading that. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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