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Stevo985

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A comment I read in response to the above was "...meanwhile, the Germans were practicing penalties".  Probably goes in the 'funny but probably true' camp :)

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On 6/1/2017 at 09:22, Stevo985 said:

I'm kermitted to this treatment

 

or was it "what's in the news toad-ay?"

"Dead woman gives birth to Man"

"Yeah and you know, erm yeah found out some news. There was a woman right, no girl, no woman she was about 47 or maybe 22.  I dunno but she looked well rough but I think the picture was right after they got it out,  with a rope. But yeah that's it, she had a heaviest baby ever or close to it,   ever. I just read the headline but I sort of looked at the rest as well,  not reading it though. where was I, oh yeah, she like had a heavy baby and that.  She died by the way,  or the doctor did or something,  I think the baby fell on them is what i heard."

"It's got to have like a special super strength wheelchair now from China,  no i mean pushchair, you know what birds push kids into the road first with and that."

"Not heavy like normal though but heavier bone mass and he's like getting heavier every day and that but he's well fat,  the doctors said it was the baby right.  He was staying up at night in his mom's belly and grabbing crisps and sweets as it went past him from the mam eating.  That's not right is it,  he was like almost one years old when he came out as well.  It was a while back I think, no, no that not right, I read it in the window of the Newsagents waiting for the bus.  A week last Wednesday,  or Friday."

Same info exactly in the link below but in less depth. No need to read that to be honest.  

It's mostly copied and pasted if I am honest it's that accurate.

 

To Mirror "Fat Baby, Fat Baby and that"

 

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21 minutes ago, AVFCDAN said:

Fat baby on telly, fat baby on telly, tell me about the fat baby.

She was a woman, well, she was a man.

WAS IT A MAN OR A WOMAN?!

It was a woman.... well....

OH FOR F-

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1 hour ago, Paddywhack said:

Anything Pilkington is a guaranteed like from me.

No doubt this is confusing to 99.9% of the forum but I don't know anyone else mad enough to listen to 15 year old radio shows, and some of it is comedy gold!

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45 minutes ago, AVFCDAN said:

No doubt this is confusing to 99.9% of the forum but I don't know anyone else mad enough to listen to 15 year old radio shows, and some of it is comedy gold!

Not only listen to them, but listen to them over and over again. I reckon I'm on at least my 5th cycle.

 

STOP. TALKING. SHIT!.

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Having trouble getting my head around an Excel thing, but I'm not sure whether it's a formula I need or I can't grasp the numbers.

I'm running a performance metric regarding email.

It's weighted 70% for volume of emails taken and 30% for quality of emails processed.

If both values were out of 100% then it would be an easy case of weighting it:

Quote

=(G2*0.7)+(H2*0,3)

To get the value.

However, here's my issue (or not an issue, I don't know)

The volume of emails metric isn't out of 100%. It's calculated by adding all of the emails processed together, and divided by everyone's shifts to get an average 'number of emails process per shift per agent'. Then we get the total emails processed by a specific agent, divided by his shifts to get his personal 'volume of emails' value.

The agent's own emails per shift value is divided by the average emails per agent per shift to get a % score. Obviously if the agent's value is above the average then this is a percentage above 100%.

I have one agent who has 113.56% for volume which is a very good score and 92% for the quality of emails, again very good.

But using the weighting model of:

Quote

=(G2*0.7)+(H2*0,3)

It just drags down his 113.56% rather than reflect his two very high scores.

               

I can't work out whether I'm being stupid (due to election related sleep deprivation) is whether this is a tricky thing to crack.

Any bods, help!

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Just now, StefanAVFC said:

Working with polish excel, , is . over here

Yes but my confusion was that the 0.7 was a fullstop and the 0,3 was not.

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I had mine on Thursday. Hotels, and entrance to Alton Towers paid for, free food, and an open bar until 3am. It was my turn to drive, and it turns out that I really, really, **** hate rides, and only went on one. :( 

On the bright side, I was tucked in to bed with a complementary bottle of wine watching the election coverage by midnight. I've had worse nights.

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Chris Martin of Coldplay has gone up in my estimations in recent times. He seems like a bloody nice bloke. 

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22 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said:

update on this.

fell asleep on my bus home at 4am, walked 3 miles home :(

Bet it sobered you up a bit though :)

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