Popular Post Dodgyknees Posted January 6 Popular Post Share Posted January 6 Hello all This is the first time I’ve been able to get back online (it’s been hellish to say the least), My boy was born in December, he’s wonderful. Sadly he has a really bad chest and some other issues, but he will be fine His name, our number 6, 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 Can’t add a photo cos the size is too big x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 1 hour ago, Dodgyknees said: Can’t add a photo cos the size is too big x Chuck it on imgur if you want to share Glad it's all going well mate 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 On 02/01/2024 at 10:29, Stevo985 said: It's taken 3 full months but I THINK we're nearing the end of this regression. For a whole week now he has slept until at least 6am. Since this original post he'd been waking regularly in the night and getting up for the day around 4am. It's been absolutely brutal. We still have to sit next to him while he goes to sleep but we've gone from full on screaming tantrums when we put him down to complete acceptance that it's bed time. He still gets upset if we leaves but if we stay he just goes to sleep fairly quickly. This is making me feel as negligent as ****, because my little goblin will sit and chat for **** hours, and we've got to the point where we read her a story, say goodnight, shut the door, and turn the TV up. My record was sitting with her from her bedtime (7ish) until 01:30 and admitting defeat. Keeping her company just doesn't work, she'll keep eye contact, grin and babble away, she needs to just be left to shout it out, until she's exhausted and falls asleep, but it breaks my heart every single day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 16 minutes ago, Davkaus said: Chuck it on imgur if you want to share Glad it's all going well mate I’ll do this soon. Life is a bit mental but he’s perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Dodgyknees Posted January 6 Popular Post Share Posted January 6 I love him so much it actually hurts my soul when I’m away from him 19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 6 VT Supporter Share Posted January 6 (edited) 24 minutes ago, Davkaus said: This is making me feel as negligent as ****, because my little goblin will sit and chat for **** hours, and we've got to the point where we read her a story, say goodnight, shut the door, and turn the TV up. My record was sitting with her from her bedtime (7ish) until 01:30 and admitting defeat. Keeping her company just doesn't work, she'll keep eye contact, grin and babble away, she needs to just be left to shout it out, until she's exhausted and falls asleep, but it breaks my heart every single day. Everyone is different. That works with some, doesn’t with others. I only sit with him because he will not go to sleep any other way. And if it was taking 3 or 4 hours I wouldn’t do it. Sometimes it takes 90 minutes but most nights he’s asleep in about half an hour. everyone says let him cry it out. But we had two days where we just left him and after nearly 4 hours both times I gave up. He was sweating, distressed, he’d thrown everything out of his cot, screaming. It just didn’t work. All kids are different I think. You’ve just got to find something that works and go with it Edited January 6 by Stevo985 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 1 minute ago, Stevo985 said: Everyone is different. That works with some, doesn’t with others. I only sit with him because he will not go to sleep any other way. everyone says let him cry it out. But we had two days where we just left him and after nearly 4 hours both times I gave up. He was sweating, distressed, he’d thrown everything out of his cot, screaming. It just didn’t work. All kids are different I think. You’ve just got to find something that works and go with it Yeah I get it, we've had some nights where after a couple of hours I give up and go in, and the poor little thing is just soaked through from sweat, but I just can't sit there for hours every single night. I don't think we've ever managed to get her to sleep in less than an hour, it's a constant struggle. Definitely wasn't meant as a criticism at all, bedtime is the most stressful time of the day and I'm losing the **** plot. Have you got any tips? I tried just cuddling her until she sleeps, but she's too clever for her own good and knows what triggers me. I used to just put her down, close the door, and use the baby monitor and my headphones to keep and eye on her, but she's started pretending to choke and vomit the second I put her down because she knows it scares me and gets me to rush in. Then she grins at me. The kid is an arsehole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 6 VT Supporter Share Posted January 6 30 minutes ago, Davkaus said: Yeah I get it, we've had some nights where after a couple of hours I give up and go in, and the poor little thing is just soaked through from sweat, but I just can't sit there for hours every single night. I don't think we've ever managed to get her to sleep in less than an hour, it's a constant struggle. Definitely wasn't meant as a criticism at all, bedtime is the most stressful time of the day and I'm losing the **** plot. Have you got any tips? I tried just cuddling her until she sleeps, but she's too clever for her own good and knows what triggers me. I used to just put her down, close the door, and use the baby monitor and my headphones to keep and eye on her, but she's started pretending to choke and vomit the second I put her down because she knows it scares me and gets me to rush in. Then she grins at me. The kid is an arsehole. I’ve shortened it by being quite firm with him. If he’s **** around, which he absolutely does do, then I threaten that I’m going to leave. If that doesn’t work then I do leave, let him cry for 5 minutes and then go back in. Then he’ll put his head down and try to sleep. Sometimes I have to do that a couple of times. Once he’s settled and lying down though I have no tips that bit can take ages. And now that he’s sleeping to a reasonable time in the morning he’s less tired at night so it’s slower to get him to sleep 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 6 VT Supporter Share Posted January 6 Just now, Stevo985 said: I’ve shortened it by being quite firm with him. If he’s **** around, which he absolutely does do, then I threaten that I’m going to leave. If that doesn’t work then I do leave, let him cry for 5 minutes and then go back in. Then he’ll put his head down and try to sleep. Sometimes I have to do that a couple of times. I’m sure this doesn’t drive the right behaviours by the way. The reward shouldn’t be me being there or it’ll just encourage him to only sleep with me there. But I can’t find any other way to get him to go to sleep 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 Bringing up kids is a bit like prison. Everything works on someone, nothing works on everyone. Our first kid, we pretty much had it nailed, feeding, bedtime, general happy demeanour. We were convinced we were just natural good parents. Second one came along, and we were educated that lots of it is utterly **** random luck. Y’all just got to stick with it and take the joy where you find it. Nobody has raised your particular kid before, so what do they know. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 Our current touch point is about 45 minutes, but I feel like a proper word removed 3 or 4 nights a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobzy Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 FWIW, we did the whole "controlled crying" thing. Worked with both eventually, but there's a long period of, essentially, listening to crying which is obviously torture. Basically increase the gap of going in by a period (I think 6 minutes?) at a time. Leave room, they cry for 6 minutes. Back in room to settle. Leave room, they cry for 12 minutes. Back in room to settle. etc. Maybe it's the getting used to being alone, who knows. The only thing I would say is be as consistent as possible with what you're doing. They're (apparently) all about routine so doing the same things at night time, same little order of things, read a book, whatever. Just do it the same as possible as much as possible... ...but, y'know, a load of it is chance. Our eldest has slept through since 8 months old or something. Youngest since she was about 2 and a half Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 6 VT Supporter Share Posted January 6 1 hour ago, bobzy said: FWIW, we did the whole "controlled crying" thing. Worked with both eventually, but there's a long period of, essentially, listening to crying which is obviously torture. Basically increase the gap of going in by a period (I think 6 minutes?) at a time. Leave room, they cry for 6 minutes. Back in room to settle. Leave room, they cry for 12 minutes. Back in room to settle. etc. Maybe it's the getting used to being alone, who knows. The only thing I would say is be as consistent as possible with what you're doing. They're (apparently) all about routine so doing the same things at night time, same little order of things, read a book, whatever. Just do it the same as possible as much as possible... ...but, y'know, a load of it is chance. Our eldest has slept through since 8 months old or something. Youngest since she was about 2 and a half That worked for us when we were first sleep training him but doesn’t seem to work now at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted January 7 VT Supporter Share Posted January 7 The only rule is that there are no rules. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 Ours has slept pretty well since he was born. Up until 3 weeks ago from probably 1 month old he slept 7-8 hours in his first go from around 7-2 every night then every 1.5 hours until 6/7 and then he was up for the day recently though (4 months old) he doesn’t stay down. Max 4 hours first sleep and then every hour and I’m aware it’ll probably get worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 7 VT Supporter Share Posted January 7 27 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said: Ours has slept pretty well since he was born. Up until 3 weeks ago from probably 1 month old he slept 7-8 hours in his first go from around 7-2 every night then every 1.5 hours until 6/7 and then he was up for the day recently though (4 months old) he doesn’t stay down. Max 4 hours first sleep and then every hour and I’m aware it’ll probably get worse It’ll get worse. Then it’ll get better. Then it’ll get worse again. Then it’ll be better than it’s ever been. Then it’ll be the worst it’s ever been. Then it’ll get better again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 With both of ours we went with the 2 nights of hell and let them cry out (if we knew they weren’t hungry, cold, poorly) and then it was plain sailing ever since. If it needed a third or fourth night we’d have pushed ahead. Short term pain for long term gain, and it’s in the little one’s interest too to sleep well, at night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreveryoung Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 We have pretty much got away without drama with our lad, from day one no problem. Even now 8 years later, we have no real issues, bit of a fussy eater, that's about it. It was actually part of the reason we (or maybe I) didn't want to have another, always thought the next would be hard work that we wouldn't be used to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Follyfoot Posted January 7 VT Supporter Share Posted January 7 20 hours ago, Dodgyknees said: Can’t add a photo cos the size is too big x sounds like my tinder profile 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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