Rugeley Villa Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 26 minutes ago, MNVillan said: Mrs MNVillan & I have been trying to get pregnant for a couple years without success. We weren’t sure it was even possible due to some intense chemotherapy she went through back in 2019. We finally achieved pregnancy, but on Friday went in for an 8 week ultrasound and they could not detect a heartbeat. Needless to say, it has been a crushing blow to us. However, I do take a little solace in the fact that now we know getting pregnant is a possibility. That’s shit mate. As you say at least you know it’s a possibility now so good luck with that. My missus must have had 5/6 miscarriages before we got any success all in the first few weeks, so keep banging away mate. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VILLAMARV Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 My heart goes out to you both MNV. It's one of those things that's not supposed to be in the script. That it is a fairly common occurrence and has no bearing neccessarily on whether you can conceive again and have healthy babies are good things to keep in mind. Still a massive kick in the hopes though. Help her through it like I'm sure you will, but also don't ignore your own grief. Big Hugs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 1 hour ago, MNVillan said: She’s devastated but not showing any signs of troubling behavior (our doctor gave us a booklet on what to look out for). The first thing we were told is “neither of you are at fault, nothing you did caused this to happen.” It’s easy to ask what happened and get frustrated when the doctors don’t have an answer, but I think we both realize that this is part of life and honestly a fairly common occurrence. unfortunately it is and what comes next if not already is absolutely horrible for your wife one day you'll sit there with the baby you've got wondering if the one that you don't would be completely different all id say is don't be ashamed to get the help further down the road, not sure what its like in the states with the drs etc but honest now you know it is possible go get whatever they can give you. me and my wife did (twice - we actually lost the baby in between that we didn't plan or try for) again its one of those things that when you start talking about it and open up the can of worm you realise that its really hard despite the years of being told how dangerous unprotected sex is, when you actually want one is a right bastard to get it all to work 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rds1983 Posted October 16, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted October 16, 2023 2 hours ago, MNVillan said: She’s devastated but not showing any signs of troubling behavior (our doctor gave us a booklet on what to look out for). The first thing we were told is “neither of you are at fault, nothing you did caused this to happen.” It’s easy to ask what happened and get frustrated when the doctors don’t have an answer, but I think we both realize that this is part of life and honestly a fairly common occurrence. From what I've seen with my wife and friend's/family, women take stuff like this really hard and don't always show just how much it affects them. They can see it as a personal failure that their body isn't doing the one thing that it's designed for. As the responses here have already shown, it's much more common a problem than people think and it's nobody's fault. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rds1983 Posted October 16, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted October 16, 2023 2 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: keep banging away mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted October 16, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted October 16, 2023 We've had our first dose of sleep regression over the past week and it's a pain in the arse. Jack woke up one night screaming, don't know if it was a nightmare or what, but now he just categorically will not go to sleep in his cot. He screams like I've never heard him scream before, sweating, banging his fists and head on the crib. We've managed to get through by setting a bed up on the floor for him (for some reason he loved that!) or by having him in one of our beds, but that's not sustainable. And at the moment he just will not settle unless one of us is with him. Again not sustainable. So we're probably going to have to have a night where we just let him cry it out. Which will be horrible, but I'm not sure how else we can tackle it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 31 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: We've had our first dose of sleep regression over the past week and it's a pain in the arse. Jack woke up one night screaming, don't know if it was a nightmare or what, but now he just categorically will not go to sleep in his cot. He screams like I've never heard him scream before, sweating, banging his fists and head on the crib. We've managed to get through by setting a bed up on the floor for him (for some reason he loved that!) or by having him in one of our beds, but that's not sustainable. And at the moment he just will not settle unless one of us is with him. Again not sustainable. So we're probably going to have to have a night where we just let him cry it out. Which will be horrible, but I'm not sure how else we can tackle it. It’s brutal but writing a couple of nights off is the only way. If you know they are not hungry or poorly then you have to take the issue head on. My daughter (when she was 2 or 3) went through a stage of crying uncontrollably when we’d check on her just before we went to bed. She was asleep so couldn’t really communicate what was upsetting her. It turned out she needed the toilet but being asleep and confused couldn’t articulate it, even if we asked her if she needed the toilet. We’d just carefully take her to the toilet and put her on and she’d go. Then back to sleep no problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 1 hour ago, Stevo985 said: We've had our first dose of sleep regression over the past week and it's a pain in the arse. Jack woke up one night screaming, don't know if it was a nightmare or what, but now he just categorically will not go to sleep in his cot. He screams like I've never heard him scream before, sweating, banging his fists and head on the crib. We've managed to get through by setting a bed up on the floor for him (for some reason he loved that!) or by having him in one of our beds, but that's not sustainable. And at the moment he just will not settle unless one of us is with him. Again not sustainable. So we're probably going to have to have a night where we just let him cry it out. Which will be horrible, but I'm not sure how else we can tackle it. 3 and a half years later.....what's not sustainable? we're trying the crying out thing at the moment with our 1 year old because he's a breast milk fiend, my wife is weak willed though and keeps giving in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted October 16, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted October 16, 2023 53 minutes ago, villa4europe said: 3 and a half years later.....what's not sustainable? we're trying the crying out thing at the moment with our 1 year old because he's a breast milk fiend, my wife is weak willed though and keeps giving in I thought I was strong willed. But seeing him crying and screaming "Dada" and patting the place on the pillow where I was lying next to him while he fell asleep was too much for me. I've read about something called Twilight Interruptus which I think I'll try. Basically a variation on the sleep training we used when he first slept in his cot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 25 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: I thought I was strong willed. But seeing him crying and screaming "Dada" and patting the place on the pillow where I was lying next to him while he fell asleep was too much for me. I've read about something called Twilight Interruptus which I think I'll try. Basically a variation on the sleep training we used when he first slept in his cot i had no choice cos the wife went to a festival for a night, it was rough but my 3.5 year old i still sleep in her bed 5/7 nights at various times, last night she woke up at 4am, laziness kicks in, its easier to just get in to her bed rather than spend 10 minutes getting her to go back to sleep and getting back in to my own 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 Promised my lad a month ago that I’d get him the new Villa tracksuit today. Mum now saying no because he had a ten pound note yesterday and was meant to give his mum a fiver back but spent it all but said he lost the fiver(he may well have done) . I agree I think he’s spent it not lost it, but just broke the news to him and he’s a bit upset saying “Dad you promised me”. I feel bad about it but I’m not going to overrule his mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 4 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: Promised my lad a month ago that I’d get him the new Villa tracksuit today. Mum now saying no because he had a ten pound note yesterday and was meant to give his mum a fiver back but spent it all but said he lost the fiver(he may well have done) . I agree I think he’s spent it not lost it, but just broke the news to him and he’s a bit upset saying “Dad you promised me”. I feel bad about it but I’m not going to overrule his mum. You still together? Depends on the mom and knowing my wife I woupd face her wrath for a few weeks But I would My brother plays the "your mom said no" game with his kids and his ex, I'm not doing that My mom would buy the stuff for the kids and just keep it at her house, thats her general rule anyway, doesn't let his ex get any of the good clothes or toys etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 22 minutes ago, villa4europe said: You still together? Depends on the mom and knowing my wife I woupd face her wrath for a few weeks But I would My brother plays the "your mom said no" game with his kids and his ex, I'm not doing that My mom would buy the stuff for the kids and just keep it at her house, thats her general rule anyway, doesn't let his ex get any of the good clothes or toys etc We are still together . If we weren’t I’d buy it him. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted October 22, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2023 1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said: but I’m not going to overrule his mum. Good, one of the first rules is a united front. Kids are masters of using the weak points between parents 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 59 minutes ago, Tegis said: Good, one of the first rules is a united front. Kids are masters of using the weak points between parents They certainly are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 Mums gave in providing he does some chores and does all his homework before he goes to game 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 1 hour ago, Tegis said: Good, one of the first rules is a united front. Kids are masters of using the weak points between parents Would agree but if my wife knew that I'd promised one of my kids something and used me not being able to follow through on that promise to my kid as a punishment I'd be pissed Plus it'd be one of those things that I'm guessing ruge is buzzing for his kid getting some villa gear too so it's punishing both of them The United front for me would be pick something else For example I took my daughter to the cinema for the first time last weekend, just me and her, it's a special thing for me too, if she'd have been naughty and my wife had said no then I'm getting punished as well which would give me a right to be annoyed, pick your own treat to withdraw not mine 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted October 22, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2023 2 minutes ago, villa4europe said: The United front for me would be pick something else Yep, the terms are negotiable and the me saying "rule" is more of a guideline to follow really. Sensible decisions decided for each situations. And negotiate away from the kids if the terms are not up to everyones liking . Then united front! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreveryoung Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 The new Villa kit has been on hold for my lad, we told hm he needs tighten up on getting his homework done, he's getting a bit lazy with it lately, Roblox more interesting apparently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 4 minutes ago, foreveryoung said: The new Villa kit has been on hold for my lad, we told hm he needs tighten up on getting his homework done, he's getting a bit lazy with it lately, Roblox more interesting apparently. Roblox with my grandson as well. If he isn't playing it, he is talking about Rainbow Friends. It's bloody constant. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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