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Things You Don't "Get"


CrackpotForeigner

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When colleagues complain they've been doing work for the boss all night after receiving an email at 9pm.

Don't read the fecking email then!!!

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Marriage.

Having kids.

And before the proud parents or smug newly/long term weds pile in to explain it to me. I know, I know: having kids/being married is the absolute best thing in the world. Ever, ever.

I just don't personally get it and that's the whole point of this thread. Thank you. Bye.

x

This is actually the perfect subject for this thread. Impossible to imagine, then suddenly completely natural.
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Sight reading music. That shit is **** ing voodoo.

I understand the theory. I can decode sheet music, laboriously, one note at a time. Then translate that - painfully slowly - to the guitar, counting the frets... try and remember it, then start again with the next note.

But there seem to be any number of alien freaks who can do it all in real time...

Witchcraft.

Edited by mjmooney
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Marriage.

Having kids.

And before the proud parents or smug newly/long term weds pile in to explain it to me. I know, I know: having kids/being married is the absolute best thing in the world. Ever, ever.

I just don't personally get it and that's the whole point of this thread. Thank you. Bye.

x

Obviously there are no correct answers to the OP but gun to my head this one would be it.
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elvis

vinyl

converse shoes

cardigans

magaluf

nightclubs

carling

tennants

darts

pukka pies

red sauce

mumford & sons

necklaces

bracelets

tattoos

pumpkin spice latte

cold soup

ice tea

chip shop curry

calvin harris

eastenders

james corden

the football league show

radio plays

cricket

ufc

wrestling

kelly brook

parks and recreation

roller coasters

candy floss

milk chocolate

turtleneck sweaters

the 70s

cream leather

vauxhall corsas

studio ghibli

banter

hardback books

velcro

dancing

bass guitars

socialising as a hobby

damien hirst

channel 5

sushi

24/7 news

selfies

pc gaming

religion

alfred, lord tennyson

mini mars bars

televised award ceremonies

tabloid news

world of warcraft

alain de botton

monday night football

online dating

skrillex

live streaming of video games

people who don't like reading

midsomer murders

helicopters

trampolines

chris kamara

clothes

chilled red wine

well done steak

grammar nazis

opera

shaved heads

bluetooth headsets

blogs

the queen

cars

dubbed films

michael bay

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Negative bores. Yea, you're not cool or original, you're the same as everyone else minus the fun.

Men's men. "Alright son!?" "How's it going son!?" - you're 12 years younger than me, **** off.

People who have too many friends, you're probably more lonely than the people with a few close friends, your huge group photos mean nothing.

Chavs who actually think they must look cool. Anyone past 14 should not, I repeat not, go out wearing jogging bottoms and a snap back cap with their favourite American sports team.

HP sauce. It's nice, but do the people who prefer it over other sauces have to declare their superiority EVERY **** TIME?

Big car drivers.

Small car drivers.

People who like driving.

People who - within reason - won't try new things. It's part of life, TRY IT OUT!

Old people who win the lottery, ypu have 5 years of living left with little mental or physical ability, stop buying the tickets or donate the money to someone younger than 50.

Most TV shows, people who think playing video games is somehow childish and beneath them, but love quizzes akd competition, video games are about as competitive as anything you can do, if its a multiplayer game.

People who don't get marriage and kids, good job your parents wasted their time, energy and spunk on you ay? You're going to die alone, well done.

Clubbing and dancing in general. Some dance moves are purposefully created to mimic other items or animals, your body isn't meant to look like that, you div.

Amatuer dramatics, mym mom did it, I hate most things at the theatre now because of it. Thanks mom.

Ignorant people. I can walk in my office and say "morning" 2 of the 10 people will say it back. Its rude man.

That list I've just made, it should go in the things that piss you off thread, not here ffs.

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I have this incessant need to try and explain why they should 'get' the ****ing Mighty Boosh.

 

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Stop twisting my words, Mr Pints. You're not big, clever or hard. Actually, you're all three of those things to some extent.

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