8pints Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Came of the bike on cobbles outside the Dukes Head in Putney, which, as usual for Summer days was packed with beautiful Putney people. Lost a fair bit of skin. That night I met up with a girl that would become my girlfriend for the following 6 years. Her bed the next day was caked in blood crust. One back for the guys Stevo showed me the magic of this gif 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) I was walking high up on some hills when I looked at the long path then I looked down the side of the hill and thought I knew which way would be quicker, so I went off the path and down the side of the hill trouble was that it was too steep so I ended up gaining loads of momentum and I couldn't stop myself charging down at full speed with my arms flailing pretty hysterically and I was heading for a stream, I tried to use the speed I built up to jump over it I nearly cleared it but end up half in the stream and half smacked against the bank.. There was a group of elderly people at a picnic, they didn't say a thing. Edited February 21, 2014 by useless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I walked into a lamppost once in front of all my friends. Had a big bruise on my head for a week or so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric Avenue Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Electrocuted myself and survived Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post colhint Posted February 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 21, 2014 I have a couple, First back in late 70's . On our way back from Sunday morning football at Billesley common. We had to drop some lads off at the wheatsheaf in Sheldon. I was in the front passenger seat of a clapped out old Allegro. So we were approaching the lights in the middle lane. The lights turned red and the guy in front breaked sharpish. Our driver reacted well and stopped, but the guy behind didn't. It was a fair bump, not really a crash. My mate the driver, who was a bit hot headed, went to get out to speak to the bloke. The thing was, the bump had just done enough to the car to push part of the body forward a third of an inch or so. He couldn't open the door. He was very angry now. He asked me to try the passenger door. It was stuck also, but not as much as the drivers side. So he got me to lean back and tried to boot it open. It worked the door opened. Unfortunately the lights had changed and the traffic started moving. a car took the door right off. He clambered over me to speak to the bloke who hit us. His blood was up now. After a minute or so the 2 drivers agreed to pull up in a spot just after the lights. Mick, the driver, tried his door from the outside, and after a good yank, got it open. He got back in, but the door wouldn't shut properly. Anyway we started to move slowly, but the door swung open. Only to be hit by a car on the other side, taking it right off as well. I didn't laugh until he cooled down. The other one was a bit of diy A few years back mom and dad went to South Africa for a long holiday, they asked me if I would decorate the living room and the spare bedroom, as there seemed to be a water stain on the wall paper. Anyway they were going to be away for 6 weeks. I put it off, I mean, I could do it easy in a week, what could possibly go wrong. So I started the week before they came back. Now mom had always had a decorator in to do the wall papering, she had it done every other year. She had anaglypta the last time, so that hat to come off. All was going well until I tackled the last wall. This was the wall which was always the contrast wall for those who can remember them. Anyway I went at this wall, and realised the bloody decorator had never removed any paper at all, I could see all the wallpapers I remembered from my childhood. Bloody hell I thought. So I went at it with gusto, when all of a sudden a great big piece of plaster came off. I mean big, bigger than a subbuteo pitch size. I had to get my mate round to put the browning on and told me to leave it for about a week to dry. Not a chance, I thought, Moms back in 6 days and its got to be done by then. I reckoned I would finish the other walls and come back to this one. That took about a day and a half. So then I went to look at the spare bedroom, not to big, easily done in a day. The problem was moving the furniture on my own. I got the bed out and chest of drawers but there was nowhere to put the wardrobe. So I thought I could work around it. I manoevered it a bit, but the door kept swinging open. So I locked it. Anyway I stripped the wall paper off, that bit was easy. Then I could see the watermark was in the plaster, obvious a tiny leak somewhere. I got into the loft and found the leak, The valve on the tank just need tightening. So I got up to get my tools, missed my footing and went straight through the roof. I reckon the leak had really weakend the plaster board. The thing was I went straight through the roof, and straight through the top of the bleeding wardrobe, with a crash bang wallop. I couldn't bloody move, I was in the wardrobe up to my shoulders with 1 arm in and 1 out. I was stuck fast, and there was no one else in the house. After a few moments of panic and about 10 minutes of ooohhh shiiite, I figured the only way out was to get the wardrobe flat. So about 10 minutes leaning forward then back and using my one free arm to push against the wall the wardrobe was rocking. Eventually it went, falling forward, me screaming, I never thought about the consequences until it was too late. So now I'm lying face down inside the wardrobe aching like hell. Fortunately the lock came apart in the fall. I was able with the one arm in the wardrobe, to push down to raise the wardrobe a bit, then a bit more, until eventually I could scramble out. I looked at the damage, it was like something out of some mothers do have 'em. I got straight on the phone to my mate who came round. I tried to explain what had happened, but he was to busy laughing his cock off. Anyway he fixed the ceiling with a bit of plasterboard and skim. I cleaned up the mess. I now had three days days till mom got back. So I was there at 6 every morning doing a bit and straight from work doing a bit. All the time I had to wait for the plaster to dry back in the living room. I finally got it finished at 4 in the morning on the last day, about 6 hours before mom got back. She said, "It looks nice Col, any problems?" "No mom it was easy really" 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Staggered out of the O2 Academy, when it was at Dale End, straight into the road and got run over. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I remember somehow managing to run into a taut clothesline the once I'd threw my head back running at full tilt then suddenly sprang backwards like a plank of wood and ended up on my back, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danwichmann Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Banjo twang gave hours of amusement to my flatmates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I couldn't think of anything embarrassing, but then I remembered breaking my wrist on one of those punch bags you get in pubs. 4 weeks off work though, I'd do it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hycus-flange Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I decided that a normal door on my bathroom was taking up too musch space when it was open so I replaces it with a quality argos plastic folding consetina door. The new door was about 2 inches too tall for the frame so it needed cutting down to size, a normal person would of fetched a hacksaw and done the job with no problems, but me just out of the army had kept hold of my issue survival type knife, a big heavy brute as sharp as a razor, I fetched that and started to trim the bottom 2 inches off of the door with it, anyway long story short, at some point I slipped and 80% severed my index finger, just a bit of flesh and skin holding it on, 4 tee towels full of blood and some ruined timberland jeans later and the hospital go it sewed back on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Timely thread, I slipped on ice in my driveway on Tuesday and landed square on my tailbone. I'm walking like a penguin right now. Sucks. If it's still real sore tomorrow, I might get it X-Rayed. My scariest crash was when I was painting a house and standing 4 rungs from the top of a 40 ft ladder and the bottom kicked out. I was saved by thick shrubbery. If that stuff wasn't there, I'd have probably broken my back at best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoony Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 i was happily boarding in the back country one day. I felt an odd rumbling sensation. Spin round. Smacked by a snowmobile. Didnt sue the driver 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoony Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I remember somehow managing to run into a taut clothesline the once I'd threw my head back running at full tilt then suddenly sprang backwards like a plank of wood and ended up on my back, I can match that. I was once swinging a cricket bat around in my garden (I'm from Oxford, ok) and it was dark, so I didn't see the clothes line that I promptly swung the bat into which then sprung back, whacked me on the head and left me concussed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I remember somehow managing to run into a taut clothesline the once I'd threw my head back running at full tilt then suddenly sprang backwards like a plank of wood and ended up on my back, I can match that. I was once swinging a cricket bat around in my garden (I'm from Oxford, ok) and it was dark, so I didn't see the clothes line that I promptly swung the bat into which then sprung back, whacked me on the head and left me concussed. Mine was in broad daylight, although I imagine the clothesline was see-through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonno_2004 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I electrocuted myself pretty badly trying to force open the dishwasher. I'd have deserved a Darwin award for that. (I actually knew someone who got a Darwin award, ironically via electrocution too). Worst injury would probably be being kneed via snowboard in the back of the head after Kitzbuhel fogged over and we couldn't see our way down the mountain, so when I fell over the Swedish fella behind came racing down into my stricken head. Safe to say I got the cable car down the mountain ASAP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AValon Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Stuck my mates Triumph Tiger through a fence at speed, slicing my arm wide open, but missed the rather startled looking cat! Last summer was mowing the lawn, stood upright under the extended branch of our cherry tree and sparked myself good and proper. The missus spent half hour searching for me as I'd dropped the other side of the rockery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Fell onto a metal spiked fence railing topper thingy after falling from a tree (you know when you hang there?). Impaled my leg, really hurt. Will happily show anyone the relatively small scar if they see me at the Villa. Getting accidentally stabbed in the side of the ribs with an icicle was probably the most weird/daft one I've sustained, as well as accidentally permanently scalding my hands aged 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knoppy1987 Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Playing football on the school playground > slipped > kerb > body and one leg slid over kerb > one leg stopped by kerb > body weight still going over kerb > snap > pain . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Skiing fall in January 2012.. I've no idea what it looked like, but I'm guessing funny. Going down a packed slope weaving between people quite expertly. But there's a massive ice boulder about the size of a rugby ball on the slope. I nick it and lose my balance, but having not fallen for 3/4 days I decide I'm not willing to let my record be tarnished, so I try to stay on my feet. Mistake. One ski ventures out to the side dragging my leg with it. The ski doesn't pop off. I fall, putting all my weight right at the centre of my fully extended right leg. Something has to give. It's everything. Snap. There were no survivors. Torn anterior cruciate ligament, torn medial collateral ligament, damaged lateral meniscus and broken tibia. I lie face down in the snow saying oh ****. And if that wasn't funny enough, rather than try calling for emergency help, I wait for the pain to go down a bit and then stick the skis back on and try heading down the mountain. Turning left is OK. Maybe it'll be ok. Turning right and it feels like my right lower and upper leg have never been introduced. Down I go. Full pain returns. So skiing down is not an option. I'm only about 2km from the top. I can walk that. Uphill. Carrying my skis. So I start. Again the same sensation. My knee feeling like the end of a game of jenga. I get maybe half a metre and give up. A girl I know has stopped and lets me use her phone to call the man. He skis me down the mountain behind him in a body bag. What a caper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baselayers Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Skiing fall in January 2012.. I've no idea what it looked like, but I'm guessing funny. Going down a packed slope weaving between people quite expertly. But there's a massive ice boulder about the size of a rugby ball on the slope. I nick it and lose my balance, but having not fallen for 3/4 days I decide I'm not willing to let my record be tarnished, so I try to stay on my feet. Mistake. One ski ventures out to the side dragging my leg with it. The ski doesn't pop off. I fall, putting all my weight right at the centre of my fully extended right leg. Something has to give. It's everything. Snap. There were no survivors. Torn anterior cruciate ligament, torn medial collateral ligament, damaged lateral meniscus and broken tibia. I lie face down in the snow saying oh ****. And if that wasn't funny enough, rather than try calling for emergency help, I wait for the pain to go down a bit and then stick the skis back on and try heading down the mountain. Turning left is OK. Maybe it'll be ok. Turning right and it feels like my right lower and upper leg have never been introduced. Down I go. Full pain returns. So skiing down is not an option. I'm only about 2km from the top. I can walk that. Uphill. Carrying my skis. So I start. Again the same sensation. My knee feeling like the end of a game of jenga. I get maybe half a metre and give up. A girl I know has stopped and lets me use her phone to call the man. He skis me down the mountain behind him in a body bag. What a caper You have my sympathy..well the skiing aside Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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