Things that piss you off that shouldn't

[Xela]

My bladder.

Ok, probably foolish to have a couple of cups of coffee before driving to my folks on Saturday, but I can usually make it there without needing a piss. Not yesterday though. The journey is about an hour, but extra traffic yesterday due to motorway traffic diverted to the A5, added 10-15 mins to my commute. I was in agony after about 50 minutes driving, but stuck in crawling traffic. Luckily I managed to turn off into a country lane, drove 100 yards, jumped out and had a slash in a hedge. The relief! My exhales of joy complimented by Meat Loaf blasting out from my car.

I am now looking at buying an emergency piss bottle/funnel for my car. It happens far too often. I can't do any long commute without a couple of stops anymore. I never used to be that bad. 

 

[rjw63]

2 hours ago, Seat68 said:

You people must not be married if there is talk of that much sex in a year. 

Really? You are joking? 

I mean I'm no youngster any more but four times a week is normal I'd say. 

I did a poll about ten years ago on vt members nookie habits, perhaps I should do another one? 

[Designer1]

2 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

Really? You are joking? 

I mean I'm no youngster any more but four times a week is normal I'd say. 

I did a poll about ten years ago on vt members nookie habits, perhaps I should do another one? 

[rjw63]

20 minutes ago, Xela said:

My bladder.

Ok, probably foolish to have a couple of cups of coffee before driving to my folks on Saturday, but I can usually make it there without needing a piss. Not yesterday though. The journey is about an hour, but extra traffic yesterday due to motorway traffic diverted to the A5, added 10-15 mins to my commute. I was in agony after about 50 minutes driving, but stuck in crawling traffic. Luckily I managed to turn off into a country lane, drove 100 yards, jumped out and had a slash in a hedge. The relief! My exhales of joy complimented by Meat Loaf blasting out from my car.

I am now looking at buying an emergency piss bottle/funnel for my car. It happens far too often. I can't do any long commute without a couple of stops anymore. I never used to be that bad. 

 

Wow, bowels AND bladder problems? 

Unlucky Alf lives on VT

[Xela]

1 minute ago, rjw63 said:

Wow, bowels AND bladder problems? 

Unlucky Alf lives on VT

Its only when i'm driving! It's fine any other time. I can sit at home working and be like a camel and not go all day. Get into a car and I need a piss. 

I guess that means it's a mental issue!  

 

[Stevo985]

11 hours ago, StefanAVFC said:

Oh and then I was accused of being problematic 

??????

setting a time to do something that was agreed with. Silently doing something on my own out of the way of everybody and being ready to go at the time we agreed 

problematic 

????!!

Classic that. 
 

“We’re leaving in an hour”

”and? It takes me like 5 minutes to get ready”

 

Just because it Takes you an hour to get ready doesn’t mean I have to spend that hour getting ready too. Takes me 5 minutes. I’ll play Nintendo until then thanks

[Genie]

I’m surprised there isn’t a thread dedicated to the women in our lives.

I mentioned at Christmas my wife discovered Fortnite which is really random as she has never played plays video games. 
The problem is when playing duos or trios with me and/kids whatever the scenario leading to her death is it’s my fault.

She got herself killed before me: It’s because she had to take the lead because I’m shit.

She got herself killed after me: It’s because I’m shit and died so she had to do it herself.

She died and we were nowhere near each other on the map: My fault for not being nearer to help or I went to a bad part of the map to start.

She is genuinely terrible at the game but oblivious to this fact. 
It used to be Monopoly that used to tear family’s apart, it’s now Fortnite here.

[Seat68]

My wife is alright. It's too late for her to train a new one so I am sorted. 

[foreveryoung]

Get that wife, girlfriend topic set up, we need to let of steam now and again, best on here than at the Mrs

[kidlewis]

News websites which turn public individuals tweets into news articles.

and by public I don’t mean celebrity individuals…. Or members of the public with their own reasonable following….  I mean random members of the public who are just tweeting…

the worst one this week was Birmingham mail: “United are set transfer demands for McGinn”…..

turns out its a random tweet by a fan saying £100m….. are you actually serious?

[bickster]

24 minutes ago, kidlewis said:

the worst one this week was Birmingham mail

Its the same across all local media owned by Reach PLC (which must be about 65% market share at least these days)

It's just a clickbait website these days, in every town and city where they have a title (that'll be all of them)

[BOF]

20 hours ago, foreveryoung said:

Looks like it's crazy week for the wifes/gfs. 

So while were at it......  I bought and put some blinds up in the front facing rooms, the blinds she's wanted for ages, a good deed I thought, an they wasn't cheap. They looked good, so suggested we have a spring clean today and clean the whole house, throw some stuff away, you know as you do, get the place looking nice. Well, I asked this morning shall we start and apparently if I think the house is not clean I should do it myself, as I make all the mess, even though I spend most of my time in the home office and tend to be a little OCD on keeping the place tidy.  I said it's okay, just needs a tidy, mostly due to having a 6 year old who has toys in every room. She has now resorted to the "I'm doing nothing for you anymore, clean and wash up your own mess, since you never do anything yourself!

Another thing while I'm on rant. My Mrs works nights so when I do clean it's when she is in bed or out the house, but apparently she has never seen me clean so I never do anything???

If you're being accused of something that isn't true, just make it true. If she thinks you don't clean, then stop cleaning. But let her know this is what's happening.

That's today's advice sorted.

[sharkyvilla]

14 hours ago, Xela said:

Its only when i'm driving! It's fine any other time. I can sit at home working and be like a camel and not go all day. Get into a car and I need a piss. 

I guess that means it's a mental issue!  

 

I'm exactly the same.  I've had to give up coffee before journeys as it just goes straight through me.  It's not so bad if I'm driving on my own, I'll just stop anywhere and take a piss, it's more embarrassing if I'm with others and have to ask us to stop like a 6 year old.  The problem is I think I'm addicted to caffeine and get withdrawal headaches sometimes instead.

[bickster]

40 minutes ago, BOF said:

That's today's divorce sorted.

FTFY 

[Seat68]

18 hours ago, rjw63 said:

Really? You are joking? 

I mean I'm no youngster any more but four times a week is normal I'd say. 

I did a poll about ten years ago on vt members nookie habits, perhaps I should do another one? 

Aren't you technically still in the honeymoon period? I have this distant memory of you getting married in the last 5 years. Which would make you a newly wed still. 

[Xela]

4 hours ago, kidlewis said:

News websites which turn public individuals tweets into news articles.

and by public I don’t mean celebrity individuals…. Or members of the public with their own reasonable following….  I mean random members of the public who are just tweeting…

the worst one this week was Birmingham mail: “United are set transfer demands for McGinn”…..

turns out its a random tweet by a fan saying £100m….. are you actually serious?

Thats most news websites now. 

Some z-lister does a TikTok and its a headline in the Sun or Daily Mail. 

[villa4europe]

Work sent me to the UK for 2 weeks, I said yeah OK get me a car, so they booked me a car... 

The words removed didn't pay for it! They just booked it, I had to pay a grand for it and then when I get back I'll have to claim it on expenses which will be taxed and then in a year's time when I do my tax return I'll have to claim the difference, I was absolutely fuming I'm just about calming down now 4 hours later 

Also sixt "like a VW golf" is not a **** piccanto you robbing bastards 

[bickster]

29 minutes ago, villa4europe said:

Work sent me to the UK for 2 weeks, I said yeah OK get me a car, so they booked me a car... 

The words removed didn't pay for it! They just booked it, I had to pay a grand for it and then when I get back I'll have to claim it on expenses which will be taxed and then in a year's time when I do my tax return I'll have to claim the difference, I was absolutely fuming I'm just about calming down now 4 hours later 

Also sixt "like a VW golf" is not a **** piccanto you robbing bastards 

Isn't a grand for a 2 week hire bordering on theft?

[blandy]

33 minutes ago, villa4europe said:

I'll have to claim it on expenses which will be taxed and then in a year's time when I do my tax return I'll have to claim the difference

That's a weird system for exes. Is that common over there?

Over here it's (for me) a case of either use corporate card to pay for that kind of stuff, then fill in a form and the company pays the bill from the card company, or if it's done from my money, then fill in a form and the company re-imburses direct into my bank - not as income but as debt owed, kind of thing. No tax impact on me at all.

[Xela]

1 minute ago, blandy said:

That's a weird system for exes. Is that common over there?

Over here it's (for me) a case of either use corporate card to pay for that kind of stuff, then fill in a form and the company pays the bill from the card company, or if it's done from my money, then fill in a form and the company re-imburses direct into my bank - not as income but as debt owed, kind of thing. No tax impact on me at all.

Same as my place. Pay for it on my own credit card (for reward points) and then claim it back straight away. To be fair to my place, it's back in my account in a day or so.