CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) EDIT: Can't be arsed Edited October 31, 2013 by StefanAVFC 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StigVillan Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) I once wiped my arse with my hand and then just washed it when we'd run out of toilet paper once... I'm stressing "once." Edited October 31, 2013 by StigVillan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 I did that pissed in blackpool when I went up for the end of season wigan game, im sure the toilet had no seat and no paper, like that was going to stop me! think that was at about 4 in the afternoon... 'kin hell I was smashed that weekend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morpheus Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) Back in the days of black & white TV when i was a nipper in shorts i detested going to Mass. I detested going to Mass because my mother made me take Holy Communion. Holy Communion made me heave every single time i took it and when i got back to my seat i had great difficulty in swallowing it. I kept telling my mother this but she didn't believe me. She thought it was just another rebellion to attract attention. Big, big mistake! One Sunday i was practically shoved out of my seat again by my mother to receive Holy Communion and as always i was standing in front of her so she could keep an eye on me. This particular Sunday the wine in the communion was particularly strong and while walking back down the aisle towards our seat i started to gag with my mother still behind me. As much as i tried i just couldn't swallow and i knew i wasn't going to make it this time. In front of everyone i vomited. I continued to spu through my cupped hands and as i began to stop where my seat was I got an almighty dunt from behind (mother) which made me stumble past everyone else and out of the Chapel. I don't remember much else after that other than i never ever took Holy Communion again and my mother never tried to make me take it again. My fiancee has never known why i like the movie The Exorcist so much. Edited October 31, 2013 by Morpheus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 Holy Communion is hard to swallow? Got to be a joke in there somewhere... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LockStockVilla Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 holy innuendo. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morpheus Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I would love to date Jodie Marsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P3te Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 i used to keep note of all the extra money people didn't bother taking back for their change when i worked in a shop over the course of my shift. then id use it to buy anything i fancied for the price Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vandaq Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Okay so I have nearly busted my dad for watching porn two times now in two weeks. Wtf. It`s hard to explain but he haven`t noticed me and I didn`t see anything either, just from an angle on a mirror and the other time sound and movement(timing). Not gonna do a whole write up and explain every detail but man, it`s pretty **** up. He has been doing it in the living room on the couch when my mother is gone. Lol. What should I do? Would be pretty epic in one way to bust him and just " What the f are you doing" but on the other hand I can`t rewind time and I think actually watching him being mind blown with his c*** in his hand would not lead to great times ahead. I don`t really give a damn that he is doing it but come on man, do you have to do it there and be so ignorant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Leave him a note on his laptop, telling him to watch it in his bedroom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morpheus Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Ignorance is bliss man so I wouldn't say anything. Maybe your mum and dad are experimenting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) That reminds me of my older brother growing up. Back in the day we had one computer and it was in this little alcove at the top of the stairs. I'd be downstairs watching something on TV and need to go to my room for whatever reason and start at the bottom of the stairs and I'd just hear this mad rustling as he tried to put his trousers back on or whatever else the hell he was doing. I made a game of it. When I was downstairs and I knew he was on the computer and no doubt looking at porn (he didn't even delete his internet history for crying out loud), I'd quietly sneak to the bottom step of the stairs (it was a spiral staircase so I couldn't see him or anything) and quickly run up halfway and scare the shit out of him before saying aloud, "Oh, nah it's not up there," and then walk down again. Then about 5 minutes later I'd do it again and say, "I could have sworn it was down here," or words to that effect. Serves the dirty bastard right, we all had to sit in that chair and use that computer. I guess this turned into a confession or fraternal torment. Fun though, and he was a pain in the ass to live with so it was only fair. Edited November 1, 2013 by Ginko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 1, 2013 Moderator Share Posted November 1, 2013 I like that kind of evil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 You call it evil, I call it justice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shillzz Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Okay so I have nearly busted my dad for watching porn two times now in two weeks. Wtf. It`s hard to explain but he haven`t noticed me and I didn`t see anything either, just from an angle on a mirror and the other time sound and movement(timing). Not gonna do a whole write up and explain every detail but man, it`s pretty **** up. He has been doing it in the living room on the couch when my mother is gone. Lol. What should I do? Would be pretty epic in one way to bust him and just " What the f are you doing" but on the other hand I can`t rewind time and I think actually watching him being mind blown with his c*** in his hand would not lead to great times ahead. I don`t really give a damn that he is doing it but come on man, do you have to do it there and be so ignorant. Let him crack on, he's not doing any harm. That's really not a conversation you want to be having with yer aul man. Maybe just take a leaf from Ginko's book and frighten him off with some cleverly timed near-misses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted November 1, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted November 1, 2013 Nobody can accept that their parents have any sexuality at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 1, 2013 Moderator Share Posted November 1, 2013 Fairly sure I was delivered by stork and basket. Y'know, the normal way. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Fairly sure I was delivered by stork and basket. Y'know, the normal way. You're Irish, wouldn't that be 'tha st'ark?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 That my dad watches porn* used to disgust me. It no longer bothers me though, he needs an outlet and he sure isn't going to get it from my increasingly elderly mom. * his fetishes though...Christ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts