Demitri_C Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 1 hour ago, Mark Albrighton said: Yeah, move on. Be polite enough, friendly enough when the situation warrants it. Don’t go out of your way to speak to her unless it’s necessary, if she wants to speak to you, she will. In my experience, women aren’t too fond of keen men, especially when it’s been established you like them. And if she specifically asks you to bring something back from Holland, I think you can - provided it’s reasonable and with minimal fuss. But don’t bring back extra things you think she’d like. Doing so would just be a reminder that “Hey, here you go - I still like you!”. There is a very good chance you will look back at such displays of eagerness and think “what was I doing?”. I know I think that about a few moments from my past and slightly wince with embarrassment. You know when i began my dating journey i obviously made some mistakes. From my experience when i told the girl i was into them 1st they went cold turkey on me. But then i flipped it and said to myself im not gonna express my intentions just assume she likes me so i dont have to tell her and since then the women always you use to express their feelings to me 1st. Women are so wierd Your point about it being a bit of a turn off when you told them you like them is true in my opinion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyClarke Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 Retroactive jealousy, is this a thing for anyone? Managed to let my mind do some silly things these last few weeks, this after near enough 3 1/2 years of bouncing along without a care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinker Posted April 27, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted April 27, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, AndyClarke said: Retroactive jealousy, is this a thing for anyone? Managed to let my mind do some silly things these last few weeks, this after near enough 3 1/2 years of bouncing along without a care. Yes, tell it to fucX off. Edited April 27, 2023 by tinker 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyClarke Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 12 minutes ago, tinker said: Yes, tell it to fucX off. Trying, sadly she is really not helping! I am keen to work through myself, it feels like a good way to wreck things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinker Posted April 27, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted April 27, 2023 Horrible emotion jealousy, it eats into you and your relationship. It eventually destroyed my first relationship but we were both very young and did foolish things that just added to each others insecurities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyClarke Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 Is it weird someone carrying stuff they use for sex from relationship to relationship? I don't mean sex toys that could have been used on them by someone else but equally could be for their own use. I mean things like outfits, under the mattress tie up kits etc? Stuff they've bought for someone else to enjoy with them. This is primarily what is fuelling my problems at the moment and I've got a horrible feeling it is about to come to a head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 21 minutes ago, AndyClarke said: Is it weird someone carrying stuff they use for sex from relationship to relationship? I don't mean sex toys that could have been used on them by someone else but equally could be for their own use. I mean things like outfits, under the mattress tie up kits etc? Stuff they've bought for someone else to enjoy with them. This is primarily what is fuelling my problems at the moment and I've got a horrible feeling it is about to come to a head. Cost of living crisis 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 1 hour ago, AndyClarke said: I've got a horrible feeling it is about to come to a head. Thats the point of sex outfits In all seriousness though, do you expect people to throw stuff away when they go into different relationships? What about it her ex got her a jumper one christmas. Should she throw it away? Everyone has past relationships, you've just got to accept it and not let it bother you otherwise there is only one alternative. Microwave meals for one! Jealousy is a horrible trait. I know people can't help it, but it really is unattractive. I've been the jealous one before in my younger days - I look back with great regret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyClarke Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Xela said: Thats the point of sex outfits In all seriousness though, do you expect people to throw stuff away when they go into different relationships? What about it her ex got her a jumper one christmas. Should she throw it away? Everyone has past relationships, you've just got to accept it and not let it bother you otherwise there is only one alternative. Microwave meals for one! Jealousy is a horrible trait. I know people can't help it, but it really is unattractive. I've been the jealous one before in my younger days - I look back with great regret. I get that and I dare say there are a number of things in her house that one ex or other have brought in. I'm not talking about random items of clothes, trinkets that I am oblivious to. I'm talking about things she's bought specifically for someone else to get excited over, jizz over for all I know! Trying hard not to be jealous, this is just pissing me off and triggers me into feeling jealous amd creating scenarios I don't want to think about. Edited April 27, 2023 by AndyClarke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomav84 Posted April 27, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted April 27, 2023 (edited) 22 minutes ago, AndyClarke said: I get that and I dare say there are a number of things in her house that one ex or other have brought in. I'm not talking about random items of clothes, trinkets that I am oblivious to. I'm talking about things she's bought specifically for someone else to get excited over, jizz over for all I know! Trying hard not to be jealous, this is just pissing me off and triggers me into feeling jealous amd creating scenarios I don't want to think about. i'm kinda with you. stuff like that is somewhat different from a jumper that an ex bought her just say you don't want her wearing that shit around you but make sure you have some new stuff ready to give to her as a replacement Edited April 27, 2023 by tomav84 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyClarke Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 1 minute ago, tomav84 said: i'm kinda with you. stuff like that is somewhat different from a jumper that an ex bought her just say you don't want her wearing that shit around you but make sure you have some new stuff ready to give to her as a replacement Exactly what I've done, lovehoney had a sale on today and I won £35 on a scratchcard so that bought a couple of bits! Hopefully she gets the message next time she suggests something and I tell her I don't want her second hand crap. I've said it twice this week but not convinced she has got the message. This is why I asked on here, weird to me but I guess not everyone. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 29 minutes ago, AndyClarke said: Exactly what I've done, lovehoney had a sale on today and I won £35 on a scratchcard so that bought a couple of bits! Hopefully she gets the message next time she suggests something and I tell her I don't want her second hand crap. I've said it twice this week but not convinced she has got the message. This is why I asked on here, weird to me but I guess not everyone. Look at the positives, your missus is getting dressed up for sexy time. The glass is half full not half empty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyClarke Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 3 minutes ago, Genie said: Look at the positives, your missus is getting dressed up for sexy time. The glass is half full not half empty! That is a fair point. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 1, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted May 1, 2023 I had a similar thing with an ex. She sent me some dirty pics, which should obviously be great. but I could tell from her hair style in them that they were old pics. When I brought up that they were old pics so must have been some she'd taken for somebody else she didn't see the issue. And it wasn't really an issue, I just didn't find myself particularly turned on by dirty pictures my missus had taken for somebody else. So I get it, and I think it's fair enough to be honest. My advice would be to not frame it as jealousy. Frame it as your inability to really get into it knowing the stuff was meant for somebody else. People don't like jealousy so try and frame it as you being positive 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lapal_fan Posted May 1, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 1, 2023 7 hours ago, Stevo985 said: I had a similar thing with an ex. She sent me some dirty pics, which should obviously be great. but I could tell from her hair style in them that they were old pics. When I brought up that they were old pics so must have been some she'd taken for somebody else she didn't see the issue. And it wasn't really an issue, I just didn't find myself particularly turned on by dirty pictures my missus had taken for somebody else. So I get it, and I think it's fair enough to be honest. My advice would be to not frame it as jealousy. Frame it as your inability to really get into it knowing the stuff was meant for somebody else. People don't like jealousy so try and frame it as you being positive Post them because I want to compare her hair with the ones she sent to me too 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 7 hours ago, Stevo985 said: I had a similar thing with an ex. She sent me some dirty pics, which should obviously be great. but I could tell from her hair style in them that they were old pics. When I brought up that they were old pics so must have been some she'd taken for somebody else she didn't see the issue. And it wasn't really an issue, I just didn't find myself particularly turned on by dirty pictures my missus had taken for somebody else. So I get it, and I think it's fair enough to be honest. My advice would be to not frame it as jealousy. Frame it as your inability to really get into it knowing the stuff was meant for somebody else. People don't like jealousy so try and frame it as you being positive I’ve long had this suspicion that most younger women have a stock of dirty picks on their phones that get unlocked at various checkpoints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 8 minutes ago, Genie said: I’ve long had this suspicion that most younger women have a stock of dirty picks on their phones that get unlocked at various checkpoints. Checkpoint 4 is my fave, when they suddenly realise I have a cock. Mixed reactions, mixed reactions. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 16 minutes ago, chrisp65 said: Checkpoint 4 is my fave, when they suddenly realise I have a cock. Mixed reactions, mixed reactions. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 1 hour ago, chrisp65 said: Checkpoint 4 is my fave, when they suddenly realise I have a cock. Mixed reactions, mixed reactions. Is more like "are you sure that's a cock?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 12 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: Is more like "are you sure that's a cock?" ‘Like a penis, but smaller’ I believe that was the nurse’s official medical opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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