Jonesy7211 Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 6 hours ago, mjmooney said: I really hate to say this, buddy, and I really hope I'm wrong, but she could well be seeing somebody else, and she's looking for a smokescreen excuse to split up without owning up to the real reason. Not sure about these early menopause suggestions. I had the opposite experience - my wife had terrible hormonal rages that severely threatened our marriage, but the menopause was the best thing that could have happened - she calmed right down, and we've got along much better ever since. Whatever it is, I hope things work out for you. Thank you for your support, like everyone else offering any advice or care, it's so greatly appreciated. I really hope she's not cheated again. It'd make me so hateful, and that's really not who I ever want to be. When I was young my parents were that way, I'm always determined not to be them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonesy7211 Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 6 hours ago, Genie said: Also the keenness to go to Liverpool, is she close with people up there (aside from her mum)? She is really close to her mum, and she's wanted to go back for a few years. She's close to her sisters and her mates too. We talk about it and always agree where we are is best for the kids for right now. They're doing very well in school and life, and have really good friends. I'm not even against the idea in principle. I feel really selfish because one the major reasons we stay is also for a health condition I have, ulcerative colitis. I have regular visits for infusions, blood tests, cameras, checkups. I'm sure she does hold that against me. I do take her up once every two or three weeks though. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Zen Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Jonesy7211 said: Thank you for your support, like everyone else offering any advice or care, it's so greatly appreciated. I really hope she's not cheated again. It'd make me so hateful, and that's really not who I ever want to be. When I was young my parents were that way, I'm always determined not to be them. Hey, don’t read into my or anyone else’s instincts. I have major trust issues after being treated like absolute dogshit by my ex, and I tend to project them onto others. Follow your gut instinct, but I have to say, at the very least, her reaction is odd. You don’t just ask for a divorce over a disagreement. Even after learning the truth about the evil shit my ex had done to me, it still took me a couple of weeks to decide what to do about it. Edited September 25, 2023 by El Zen 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 All the best @Jonesy7211 and if you need an alibi, I'm sure we can assist Hope Thursday goes well. I'm a fellow UC sufferer, although nowhere near as bad as you in terms of infusions etc. Even my mild case can be debilitating and exhausting. Hate to think what it is like for you. I can't offer much more than what other people have said mate. Concentrate on Thursday first. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 1 minute ago, Xela said: Hate to think what it is like for you. A pain in the arse probably 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xela Posted September 25, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted September 25, 2023 Just now, Genie said: A pain in the arse probably Well, its more of a pain in the stomach, before it sprays out of your arse like a faulty shower-head 1 1 1 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid4ever Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 1 hour ago, Xela said: Well, its more of a pain in the stomach, before it sprays out of your arse like a faulty shower-head Shakespeare couldn’t have described it better. Stealing that for the next consultant appointment. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonesy7211 Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 2 hours ago, Xela said: Well, its more of a pain in the stomach, before it sprays out of your arse like a faulty shower-head This is more true than people realise. I don't think they'll know the relief and happiness you can get when you have a great dump. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonesy7211 Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 41 minutes ago, Sid4ever said: Shakespeare couldn’t have described it better. Stealing that for the next consultant appointment. Poo jokes are the best way to deal with it, the consultant will love it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid4ever Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 1 hour ago, Jonesy7211 said: Poo jokes are the best way to deal with it, the consultant will love it. Indeed, and all the best for Thursday. Unlike @Rds1983 I am still waiting for results, ultrasound showed liver disease hopefully(?) caused by my UC, which would be manageable, 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonesy7211 Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 4 minutes ago, Sid4ever said: Indeed, and all the best for Thursday. Unlike @Rds1983 I am still waiting for results, ultrasound showed liver disease hopefully(?) caused by my UC, which would be manageable, Fingers crossed you get a positive result. I've been on immunosuppressants for 12 years and that has caused me all sorts of problems that had symptoms of other, more serious problems, but manageable once I got to the bottom of them. I hope this is the same for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 12 hours ago, Xela said: Well, its more of a pain in the stomach, before it sprays out of your arse like a faulty shower-head Couldn't leave the 4 bang reactions. There's your set 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 9 hours ago, Jonesy7211 said: I've been on immunosuppressants for 12 years and that has caused me all sorts of problems that had symptoms of other, more serious problems, but manageable once I got to the bottom of them. I hope this is the same for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mandy Lifeboats Posted September 26, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted September 26, 2023 (edited) @Jonesy7211 There has been a lot of advice posted on here. I love being part of a forum that can actually help people even if its a small amount. A couple of things are apparent to me as I look at your situation as a complete outsider. You want to know why she wants a divorce. But does that matter at the moment? It might become apparent in the coming weeks. Even if you work it out correctly you will not know its correct. Put it on one side, In my 5 decades on this planet I have discovered a question that can help in many difficult situations. "Is there anything I could say or do that would change your mind? " Ask her that question in a calm manner once the dust has settled. Tell her you want her to think carefully and give you the answer a week later. Whatever answer she gives will help you move forward. You are worried about your health. But serious illness of a loved one is almost as stressful. No-one makes good decisions in under extreme stress. For the next few weeks you should concentrate on YOU. Whatever situation you face - get help. Having others who are not under the same pressure as you and can look at the situation objectively isn't going to make things worse - so why not use them. Look up mental health support in your NHS area. Ring 111 an ask what help is available. Edited September 26, 2023 by Mandy Lifeboats Spelling mishsteaks 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Seat68 Posted September 26, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted September 26, 2023 @Jonesy7211 in 2001 my wife asked for a divorce. We had been married 2 years at that point and together much longer. We split up, I moved out and an absolutely fantastic few months. Then we actually sat down and talked, what were the issues, what were the problems, and an admittance that I was a word removed. Angry all the time, constantly arguing, a poor father, the entire family walked on eggshells around me. I obviously felt my wife was wrong. But she wasn't. So I moved back in, we both changed how we were, irritated that it took us splitting up to resolve the issues. That was 22 years ago. We have occasional words but I changed. I took on board what the criticisms were. I was a shit husband and father to being **** awesome. My suggestion is, take time out to neutral territory away from the home (it was lilleshall hill for us) and work through the problems. 12 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted September 26, 2023 Moderator Share Posted September 26, 2023 2 hours ago, lapal_fan said: Couldn't leave the 4 bang reactions. There's your set Someone can't count to 6, have you had a finger amputated? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 20 minutes ago, Seat68 said: @Jonesy7211 in 2001 my wife asked for a divorce. We had been married 2 years at that point and together much longer. We split up, I moved out and an absolutely fantastic few months. Then we actually sat down and talked, what were the issues, what were the problems, and an admittance that I was a word removed. Angry all the time, constantly arguing, a poor father, the entire family walked on eggshells around me. I obviously felt my wife was wrong. But she wasn't. So I moved back in, we both changed how we were, irritated that it took us splitting up to resolve the issues. That was 22 years ago. We have occasional words but I changed. I took on board what the criticisms were. I was a shit husband and father to being **** awesome. My suggestion is, take time out to neutral territory away from the home (it was lilleshall hill for us) and work through the problems. I can relate to a lot of this mate. Not quite at the awesome bit yet but working on it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lapal_fan Posted September 26, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted September 26, 2023 2 minutes ago, bickster said: Someone can't count to 6, have you had a finger amputated? I left one in your mom lol 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Jon Posted September 26, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted September 26, 2023 15 hours ago, Jonesy7211 said: I do take her up once every two or three weeks though. The Wrong 'Un? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonesy7211 Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 2 hours ago, Jon said: The Wrong 'Un? She doesn't let me do that anymore, Farmer Giles. Fair one really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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