tonyh29 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Chelsea fans are planning a protest against plans to knock down Stamford Bridge and build a bigger stadium for the club One outraged fan was quoted as saying "this is a disgrace.....you can't just bulldoze 7 years of history !!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted October 6, 2011 Moderator Share Posted October 6, 2011 Your fat cow one was better.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 ok then ... I was driving up this road, and a woman was driving down. I wound my window down and shouted "Big Fat **** Cow!" She replied with "**** rocket polisher!" As she went round the corner she crashed into a Big fat **** cow. This proves that woman don't listen and can't drive... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zatman Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I've just bought carlos tevez 50 greatest goals on dvd..and the **** thing won't play Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonnyBradford Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 What do Apple and Steve Mclaren have in common - neither of them have Jobs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted October 7, 2011 Moderator Share Posted October 7, 2011 Steve Jobs' funeral will be held next week, after which he will be reburied every six months in a slightly better coffin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Steve Jobs isn't dead. After pressing his bellybutton for 10 seconds they have rebooted him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiggyrichard Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Just been reading how Kevin Webster's feeling depressed over the allegations being made about him... Just a few years back he was feeling rosie... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted October 7, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted October 7, 2011 I was overjoyed to hear that the father of Apple had died. But imagine my disappointment when I found out that Chris Martin is still alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 - nicked for FB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante_Lockhart Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I took my car into Kevin Webster's garage for an MOT yesterday. I rang him up chasing it this afternoon and he apologised for the delay but he's been busy all morning sorting out a 14 year old escort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted October 7, 2011 Moderator Share Posted October 7, 2011 RT @The_Jokebook: @The_Jokebook What are the small dark hairs that can be found in a school girl's knickers? Kevin Webster's moustache Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 So this bloke bumps into an old acquaintance. They exchange pleasantries, and the bloke says "excuse me for saying this, but you don't look so good". Acquaintance says "Mmm, I dunno, probably because I've just given up smoking and w anking." Bloke says "Yeah, I s'pose that wouldn't help, but you REALLY look pretty rough". Acquaintance says "Well, it's probably becuase I was a twenty-a-day man, and I used to smoke like a chimney." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I was overjoyed to hear that the father of Apple had died. But imagine my disappointment when I found out that Chris Martin is still alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 So New York has built a 'Park in the sky' then? Hope it works better than their 'Airport in a skyscraper' idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 The plan to get my dog to swallow semen is coming on a treat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I was at the doctor's the other day having a prostate examination when he said, "Oh my God!" "What is it, Doctor?" I asked, mildly shitting myself. "You've mildly shat yourself," he replied. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Experts tell us that the best way to make a perfect cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So, every morning I shout "Two sugars, fat arse" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GREAT_BEARD_OF_ZEUS Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Talking about the rugby… I spoke to a Kiwi mate of mine the other day, he said he hasn’t been this worried about a semi since he watched Brokeback Mountain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I met a transvestite from Greater Manchester yesterday. He had a Wigan address. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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