bickster Posted November 27, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 27, 2018 7 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: Bet yours smell of turkey twizzlers and crisp sandwiches Tbh mine rarely smell, they do occasionally and occasionally very badly but I always put that down to non meat products Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted November 27, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 27, 2018 11 minutes ago, bickster said: Tbh mine rarely smell lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted November 27, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 27, 2018 2 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: lol Sprouts, beans and especially onions are the usual culprits for the rancid ones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted November 27, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 27, 2018 2 hours ago, Michelsen said: I made sure I farted loud and clear very early in our relationship. If the now wife-person couldn’t live with that, she wasn’t the one. The first time I met my wife, before we had a chance to speak, I shook her hand, pulled her closer and dribbled out a wet, noisy one. I maintained eye contact throughout and tried to look for any signs of flinching. There were none. She had passed the test. So I began to her charm her. "Whack. Paddy Whack. How are you, cupcake?" I was a bit fidgety though, I'd shit myself. 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 1 minute ago, Paddywhack said: The first time I met my wife, before we had a chance to speak, I shook her hand, pulled her closer and dribbled out a wet, noisy one. I maintained eye contact throughout and tried to look for any signs of flinching. There were none. She had passed the test. So I began to her charm her. "Whack. Paddy Whack. How are you, cupcake?" I was a bit fidgety though, I'd shit myself. Thank god you're passing on your genes 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 27, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 27, 2018 32 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said: Thank god you're passing on your genes But not his jeans. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ThunderPower_14 Posted November 27, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 27, 2018 (edited) 19 hours ago, Stevo985 said: I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. Neither of us have ever openly farted in front of the other one. Is that weird? The absolute worst thing about the start of a relationship is the constant stomach ache from trying to hold farts in. It brings a tear to my eye to think it could go on for 5 years. The first fart in my relationship was less than a month in and it was followed by a dutch oven attempt which I was thankfully able to defend myself from. Edited November 27, 2018 by ThunderPower_14 3 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 This is my favourite ever thread. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieFacE Posted November 27, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 27, 2018 (edited) 20 hours ago, Stevo985 said: I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. Neither of us have ever openly farted in front of the other one. Is that weird? Yeah. I've been with my girlfriend for about 2.5 years, i've heard her fart more times than the amount of days i've been with her. Doesn't really bother me though, we're only human. I'd find it very weird to keep having to hold it in, or walk off when you need to do it. That must be so inconvenient! Edited November 27, 2018 by PieFacE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 I would probably never sit down, in between jogs to the bathroom and back again. Life's too short. Finding it gross is a choice; choose to find it funny instead. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post GarethRDR Posted November 27, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 27, 2018 Following several betrayals, I just don't trust mine anymore. 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 12 minutes ago, GarethRDR said: Following several betrayals, I just don't trust mine anymore. I hate that feeling when you don't have 'fart confidence'. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 27, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 27, 2018 16 minutes ago, GarethRDR said: Following several betrayals, I just don't trust mine anymore. Nothing worse than a leaky goalkeeper. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 I’m worried that there’s been a fart thread open for over 24 hours and @lapal_fan hasn’t posted in it yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 (edited) 6 hours ago, Paddywhack said: I’m worried that there’s been a fart thread open for over 24 hours and @lapal_fan hasn’t posted in it yet. He should waft in soon. Edited November 28, 2018 by AJ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OutByEaster? Posted November 28, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 28, 2018 I'm not sure if it was here or in the pub, but someone told me once they'd let out a mournful one in bed in the morning and the sound was so sad that it had made them feel sad for the rest of the day. Never underestimate the emotional power of a slow one. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 I farted once.. never again. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A'Villan Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 Mine don't pong anymore, haven't for years. If I ever wanted to use them for the sake of chemical warfare I'd be useless. I suppose I could free up a seat or two on public transport with a rip-snorter because people will still associate the sound with a bad smell but it will be placebo effect at best as mine won't make your nostrils twinge or make you want to gag. I enjoy a good amount of control over the acoustics though. Can play 'em like the trumpet to be heard from across the street or ease them out in stealth mode if I so choose. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted November 28, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 28, 2018 On 27/11/2018 at 16:03, PieFacE said: I'd find it very weird to keep having to hold it in, or walk off when you need to do it. That must be so inconvenient! On 27/11/2018 at 16:40, HanoiVillan said: I would probably never sit down, in between jogs to the bathroom and back again. Life's too short. Finding it gross is a choice; choose to find it funny instead. What's wrong with your bowels? Every now and then I have to consciously hold a fart in. But it's rare. I just choose not to fart. Just like I don't spontaneously piss myself every time I have the slightest need to piss. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted November 28, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 28, 2018 7 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: What's wrong with your bowels? Every now and then I have to consciously hold a fart in. But it's rare. I just choose not to fart. Just like I don't spontaneously piss myself every time I have the slightest need to piss. cmon, you're a veggie, no one's gonna believe that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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