Stevo985 Posted November 28, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 28, 2018 12 minutes ago, bickster said: cmon, you're a veggie, no one's gonna believe that Keep trying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted November 29, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 29, 2018 21 hours ago, Stevo985 said: What's wrong with your bowels? Every now and then I have to consciously hold a fart in. But it's rare. I just choose not to fart. Just like I don't spontaneously piss myself every time I have the slightest need to piss. That'll come with age. Trust me on that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted November 29, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 29, 2018 18 minutes ago, choffer said: That'll come with age. Trust me on that. This story makes me sad..but it's also kind of funny. I'd say a 80/20 split. My granddad is 92 and has to go for a piddle every hour or so in the night. The other night he fell on his way to the bathroom and wet himself when he was lying on his vinyl flooring. When he got back up, he slipped on it and fell again. And wet himself again. I hated myself for sniggering when my dad told me, it just sounds like something from Home Alone. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted November 29, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 29, 2018 28 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: I hated myself for sniggering when my dad told me, it just sounds like something from Home Alone. Laugh it up, youngster. Your day will come. (I'm 45 and my day has already come in this regard). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 29, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 29, 2018 36 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: My granddad is 92 and has to go for a piddle every hour or so in the night. The other night he fell on his way to the bathroom and wet himself when he was lying on his vinyl flooring. When he got back up, he slipped on it and fell again. And wet himself again. I laughed 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 1 hour ago, Paddywhack said: This story makes me sad..but it's also kind of funny. I'd say a 80/20 split. My granddad is 92 and has to go for a piddle every hour or so in the night. The other night he fell on his way to the bathroom and wet himself when he was lying on his vinyl flooring. When he got back up, he slipped on it and fell again. And wet himself again. I hated myself for sniggering when my dad told me, it just sounds like something from Home Alone. So? DID HE FART OR NOT PADDY? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 4 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: So? DID HE FART OR NOT PADDY? I'm sorry, I don't know and I think it would be a strange thing to ask him now to be honest. However, if pushed, I'd say chances are there was a pump or two in there at some point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 2 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: I'm sorry, I don't know and I think it would be a strange thing to ask him now to be honest. However, if pushed, I'd say chances are there was a pump or two in there at some point. Does that mean he was as pissed as a fart? I've never understood that. Now you go and give your grandpa my best wishes, go on, off you go. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted November 29, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 29, 2018 I thought the quilt was going to be on the ceiling this morning. Severe onion trumpage through the night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted November 30, 2018 Author Share Posted November 30, 2018 I witnessed someone fart, sneeze and burp at the same time. He fell down in the process. Funniest thing I've ever seen. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAuthority Posted November 30, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 30, 2018 I am crying reading this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted November 30, 2018 Author Share Posted November 30, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterms Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 This thread really should pay tribute to Joseph Pujol. Quote Le Pétomane (/ləˈpɛtəmeɪn/, French pronunciation: [ləpetɔˈman]) was the stage name of the French flatulist (professional farter) and entertainer Joseph Pujol (June 1, 1857 – 1945). He was famous for his remarkable control of the abdominal muscles, which enabled him to seemingly fart at will. His stage name combines the French verb péter, "to fart" with the -mane, "-maniac" suffix, which translates to "fartomaniac". The profession is also referred to as "flatulist", "farteur", or "fartiste".[1] It is a common misconception that Joseph Pujol actually passed intestinal gas as part of his stage performance. Rather, Pujol was able to "inhale" or move air into his rectum and then control the release of that air with his anal sphincter muscles. Evidence of his ability to control those muscles was seen in the early accounts of demonstrations of his abilities to fellow soldiers... While serving in the army, he told his fellow soldiers about his special ability, and repeated it for their amusement, sucking up water from a pan into his rectum and then projecting it up to several yards. He found that he could suck in air as well. A baker, Pujol would sometimes entertain his customers by imitating musical instruments, and claim to be playing them behind the counter. Pujol decided to try the stage, and debuted in Marseilles in 1887. When his act was well received, he moved to Paris, where he appeared at the Moulin Rouge in 1892.[citation needed] Some of the highlights of his stage act involved sound effects of cannon fire and thunderstorms, as well as playing "'O Sole Mio" and "La Marseillaise" on an ocarina through a rubber tube in his anus.[2] He could also blow out a candle from several yards away.[1] His audience included Edward, Prince of Wales; King Leopold II of the Belgians; and Sigmund Freud.[3] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted November 30, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 30, 2018 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted November 30, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 30, 2018 3 hours ago, peterms said: This thread really should pay tribute to Joseph Pujol. The late great Leonard Rossiter did this short film on this very subject. I remember seeing it at the cinema sometime in the 70's or early 80's I guess, back in the days when they showed a short before the main movie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 10 minutes ago, blandy said: Was only thinking about this sketch on Wednesday when I watched their new show. I was about 7 when I first saw this on a VHS tape my brother borrowed from someone my mom knew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unused Sub Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 I am a farter, from a family of tremendous farters. Grandfather had a little saying before releasing an impressive blast: 'Wherever you maybe, let the wind go free. In church or chapel, let it rattle' 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 In America, they call it Apartmentulence. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 30, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 30, 2018 1 hour ago, bickster said: The late great Leonard Rossiter did this short film on this very subject. I remember seeing it at the cinema sometime in the 70's or early 80's I guess, back in the days when they showed a short before the main movie And on an elegantly relevant note, he was supposed to be an absolute pain in the arse to work with (see what I did there). A notorious perfectionist. But yes an absolute great without question. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 I'm not a fan of pharts, and I can eat the hottest curry on earth and not even need an extra visit to the kharsey, let alone phart more. Yet if I have baked beans or a normal British Sunday dinner, I expel enough air to float the Hindenburg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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