The banker loving, baby-eating Tory party thread (regenerated)

[sidcow]

1 hour ago, StefanAVFC said:

This is a parody right?

Can't believe they missed the opportunity to make this guy a life peer

[ml1dch]

 

[foreveryoung]

I reckon I could be an MP. 87k a year plus expenses just to say our area is not funded enough to do anything. An the odd visit to London, paid for obviously, might even claim a rental down there and sub let it, cushy.

[Jon]

2 hours ago, bickster said:

It would help if you told us who you are talking about 

Given he's pluralised women, maybe he's hedging his bets ...

[meregreen]

So now we have a Minister for common sense . Reminds me of the Monty Python Minister for funny walks. You couldn’t make this shit up.

[bannedfromHandV]

1 hour ago, meregreen said:

So now we have a Minister for common sense . Reminds me of the Monty Python Minister for funny walks. You couldn’t make this shit up.

And yet, they are, and have been for more than a decade now.

[mjmooney]

[Mark Albrighton]

[ml1dch]

Somebody's not a happy bunny.

 

[meregreen]

Tory Civil War incoming

[OutByEaster?]

I love her complete lack of self awareness:

https://news.sky.com/story/suella-bravermans-scathing-letter-to-rishi-sunak-in-full-after-being-sacked-as-home-secretary-13008331#:~:text=For a year%2C as home,to take on these issues.

Quote

Another cause for disappointment - and the context for my recent article in The Times - has been your failure to rise to the challenge posed by the increasingly vicious antisemitism and extremism displayed on our streets since Hamas's terrorist atrocities of 7 October.

He's got rid of you - that's a good start

Quote

I have become hoarse urging you to consider legislation to ban the hate marches and help stem the rising tide of racism, intimidation and terrorist glorification threatening community cohesion.

Presumably just as hoarse as when she was screaming encouragement for hate marches, racism and intimidation and threatening community cohesion.

Quote

I regret to say that your response has been uncertain, weak, and lacking in the qualities of leadership that this country needs. Rather than fully acknowledge the severity of this threat, your team disagreed with me for weeks that the law needed changing.

Weak right up until the point where he got rid of you.

Quote

As on so many other issues, you sought to put off tough decisions in order to minimise political risk to yourself. In doing so, you have increased the very real risk these marches present to everyone else.

Should have gotten rid of you earlier, I agree.

Quote

Someone needs to be honest: your plan is not working, we have endured record election defeats, your resets have failed and we are running out of time. You need to change course urgently.

Change course by getting rid of some of the nutters that got him into this position? He'll consider it job started.

Quote

I will, of course, continue to support the government in pursuit of policies which align with an authentic conservative agenda.

Yours Fascfully....

Ah well, at least she's taken it well and not done anything that might affect the Tory effort to ty and look normal for a bit before they have to have an election.

 

 

[Jareth]

What chance they rip themselves to shreds before they HAVE to call an election? No idea how that works but if they're set on splitting surely one side is going to calculate an earlier election is better for them, somehow. 

[sidcow]

2 hours ago, mjmooney said:

She was the first person I thought of yesterday

[sidcow]

I still can't believe they think they're getting shredded in the polls and heading for a massive defeat because they're not delivering on right wing issues. 

You're going to get mullered by a party far to the left of you. 

Where are all these voters that you feel are suddenly going to come over to you by lurching further to the right?

It's insane thinking. 

I hope she ousts him and takes over. They'll just hemorrhage more and more votes. 

As for the grassroots.  If they had even a miniscule brain they'd realise that if they wanted even a fraction of their heinous plans put into place they need to stay in power. Right now they're like Canute wanting the tide to stay out. They surely must see that. 

[bickster]

40 minutes ago, Jareth said:

What chance they rip themselves to shreds before they HAVE to call an election? No idea how that works but if they're set on splitting surely one side is going to calculate an earlier election is better for them, somehow. 

It’s the Prime Minister who effectively decides the date but it can be called no later than 5 years after the last election.

So the last election was on 17th December, so if no election has been called by that date, parliament is automatically dissolved and the election will take place 25 working days later. Which means the last date it can possibly be is 28th Jan 2025 which would be a highly unusual Tuesday. (Because of the Xmas public holidays)

 

[tomav84]

53 minutes ago, Jareth said:

What chance they rip themselves to shreds before they HAVE to call an election? No idea how that works but if they're set on splitting surely one side is going to calculate an earlier election is better for them, somehow. 

there was a rumour of a snap election a few months back. basically that some tory MPs believed that the party might save a teeny tiny bit of face if they bail out now, rather than prolonging it and making them unelectable for years and years (probably too late for that now)

[chrisp65]

That’s just the letter, she also says she has a ‘dossier’ which will be released later.

I doubt its along the lines of Russian prostitutes pissing on Rishi in his cot, but come on, keep it coming this is brilliant.

[ml1dch]

51 minutes ago, Jareth said:

What chance they rip themselves to shreds before they HAVE to call an election? No idea how that works but if they're set on splitting surely one side is going to calculate an earlier election is better for them, somehow. 

I don't think it works. There are two plays that they have, and neither of them are strong enough. 

(a) they can try and get rid of Sunak, put a new leader in and (in their unaware craziness) think that the country is desperate for their weird fringe politics go for an election once Braverman or NE other is the new leader. 

This doesn't work, because it requires enough of those Tory MPs to think that Braverman would be electorally better than Sunak. And while both are terrible, they're not that stupid. So if they get 53 letters to trigger a VONC, Sunak still probably wins.

(b) they could try and bring down the Government, and hope that after a Labour victory, Sunak is toast and they take over the party. BIG problem here - if they bring down the Government, triggering an election that the party doesn't want, there's no chance they are allowed to stand at said election. They are deselected and somebody who wasn't part of that plot takes over from Sunak after the mother of all election hammerings. 

Far more likely is just lots of unhelpful sniping for the next six - nine months, followed by an election of Sunak's choosing, him quitting when they lose and a normal Tory leadership bumfight a few weeks after.

[ml1dch]

Just now, chrisp65 said:

That’s just the letter, she also says she has a ‘dossier’ which will be released later.

I doubt its along the lines of Russian prostitutes pissing on Rishi in his cot, but come on, keep it coming this is brilliant.

My guess is that the "document with clear terms" which she refers to at the bottom of page one will probably drop in time for the weekend papers.

He's SO bad at politics.

[Genie]

57 minutes ago, sidcow said:

I hope she ousts him and takes over. They'll just hemorrhage more and more votes.

The problem with this kind of thinking is that this is where we live, whilst it’s funny to see them in turmoil I don’t want my home to become even more of a shithole just for the lols.