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The Thread of Dreams


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He's obviously suppressing his homosexuality.

 

Yeah, that's what I figured.

 

Pub crawl = Canal Street

Different drink = Different blokes

Irish club = Gay club

Luke Skywalker = Wanting to play with someone's "lightsaber"

Nan's house = Bath house

Banging drums = Banging arse

 

It's all so obvious, when you think about it.

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He's obviously suppressing his homosexuality.

 

Yeah, that's what I figured.

 

Pub crawl = Pube crawl (i.e. wanting to crawl over a mans knob)

Different drink = Different knobs

Irish club = Penis has an "I" in it, you're thinking about knobs again.

Luke Skywalker = Luke SkyWANKER (You're thinking about wanking every man in the world off)

Nan's house = Knob has an "N" in it, again, thinking about cocks an' that,

Banging drums = Banging arse and sucking knobs of men an' stuff probably.

 

It's all so obvious, when you think about it.

 

Corrected.

 

I've got a little chub on now, thanks Dave :thumb:

Edited by lapal_fan
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It always amazes me how many dreams I have that feature childhood friends who I haven't seen in years. 

 

Also, the number of dreams in which I'm on the run from the police!

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I always find myself driving cars with terrible non responsive steering and slidy tires but blistering pace. Also, although I'm in control and can 'feel' myself driving, the view is looking down at the car from the rear like in a racing game. Bizarre.

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I had a **** up dream last night, the world had basically been taken over by werewolves and me and about 7 people had taken to hiding in this underground lair that the police had tried to seal up, it worked out ok until one night I couldn't get to the lair before the werewolves came out so I made my way to a hotel, the wolves got in and I managed to get to a lift but this little Chinese bloke jumped in and beat the shit out of me.

I managed to make it safely back to the lair and made everyone sandwiches to celebrate but I absolutely lost my shit when someone ate the one I had made up especially for me.

I had another dream earlier in the night as well that I went on holiday with a bird I know (in my dream I was desperate to DHUTWU even though in real life I'm not bothered about that)

She was being a bit freaky and worked in McDonald's and kept going on about the breakfasts (there was a huge cinema screen in the maccie D's as well) anyway we got back to her caravan and she was telling me how she sleeps on the floor in the toilet so no one will disturb her, all of a sudden a load of people from work turned up where we were staying, I got proper pissed off and drove a tractor home, then I was waiting for my dad to pick me up so we could go to the pub and I realised he was 2 hours late and we wouldn't have time for a drink so I got really pissed off again

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I had a dream that I was having sex with a man at the back of my closet. Can't work out what it means.

 

Well I know for a fact you haven't got a closet, maybe this dream is a deep-seated desire to furnish your new home?

 

I suggest IKEA as a good starting point, they sell "Flat Pack" furniture.  Building it yourself keep your costs down and is better for the environment.  They specialise in this furniture and were created by Boca Juniors in 1997, hence the blue and yellow colours they don so proudly.

 

So buy it, build it and rub a bit of vinegar on it.

 

Auntie Lapal_fan x

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Had some really ****** weird dreams last night.

The first one was me watching the game on TV with all the buildup and stuff. Then I was in the tunnel as the players were getting ready to come out, but just before kick off a famous Villa goalkeeper (who looked like Given but wasn't) grabbed a microphone and asked to say a few words. He signalled some stewards who slammed a big portcullis down to stop the teams coming onto the pitch and then started telling us how he'd turned down a big move to Chelsea and called Mourinho a word removed. Then I was back in my living room as the match was about to start. Less than thirty seconds after kick off Phil Dowd ( who for some reason was refereeing the game from a biplane) crashed into a skyscraper. Everyone cheered and the match was abandoned.

Then I dreamt I knew Roy Keane as a kid and he was basically a petty criminal leading me astray. Theres a little wood by the social club near where I live and we were hiking through it like explorers in the jungle. After a bit we made it to a clearing and there was an old blue transit van. We broke into the back and stole a barrel with something inside bur had to run away from a security guard. I made a mad effort to get this barrel back to his house. When I got there his dad was hitting him and he told me there was nothing in the barrel, it was just something to pass the time.

The one that just woke me up was a sort of Biblical themed horror film set on an island like the one in that Tintin book with the giant mushrooms, except there was a big castle as well. Me and something small which was either a child or a pet were in a deadly game of cat and mouse with a shapeshifting sexy woman and a demonic horse that walked like a human. There were loads of minor characters that kept getting killed by them and each time one died a playing card with their face on it would fall out of a deck.

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I had a dream that I was having sex with a man at the back of my closet. Can't work out what it means.

 

Well I know for a fact you haven't got a closet, maybe this dream is a deep-seated desire to furnish your new home?

 

I suggest IKEA as a good starting point, they sell "Flat Pack" furniture.  Building it yourself keep your costs down and is better for the environment.  They specialise in this furniture and were created by Boca Juniors in 1997, hence the blue and yellow colours they don so proudly.

 

So buy it, build it and rub a bit of vinegar on it.

 

Auntie Lapal_fan x

 

 

I would absolutely love an Agony Aunt Lapal thread. I would read the shit out of that.

 

Let's face it, Ask BOF Anything has really gone down the pan, and many of our fellow VTers require this kind of expert advice.

Edited by Ginko
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Had one last night where I was on a bus and the breaks stopped working as we were going down a huge hill. It was quite terrifying and felt very real, I could feel all the bumps and being thrown from my seat and was genuinely scared.

 

For some reason though I had a mouth full of cheese the whole time...

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  • 1 month later...

I dreamt about VT last night.

 

I dreamt that in the Summer Speculation thread I wrote 'the bad thing about the transfer window is other teams can strengthen as well' and received a barrage of abuse for it.

 

Then several threads were made in off topic, one called 'why is paddywhack such a t**t' and another (which I don't quite understand) 'what animal is in paddywhack's house?'. But instead of paddywhack it was my full name.

 

I was banned from the threads too, I couldn't read them.

 

I didn't like any of you when I woke up this morning.

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I was back in my old school last night (but at my current age). Jermain Defoe was sat to my right in English class and was getting really annoyed with me because the toilet immediately to my left hadn't been flushed (number one only). The fact that it wasn't me that filled it didn't seem to make any difference to him. He got progressively angrier, to the point where he came out swinging. I did the classic old cartoon trick of my hand on his forehead and he just kept windmilling away without landing a punch.

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I dreamt about VT last night.

I dreamt that in the Summer Speculation thread I wrote 'the bad thing about the transfer window is other teams can strengthen as well' and received a barrage of abuse for it.

Strange, if true.

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