Daniel Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 It's either spend money on players or soap! It's hard times, you can't have both! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Lesson to be learned? Stay clean, don't wipe your bum at VP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Time to call on the General, he'll sort this out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Pangloss Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 This thread is shit (bad pun time) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islingtonclaret Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Oh my god. I think I'm going to stay in off-topic for about a month Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darrenm Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Is this the right thread to bring up the fact that if you want to get served before the end of half-time, you need to start queuing for food at 35 mins in many areas of the ground? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supernova26 Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 The ground is awful for people who suffer from bashful bladder syndrome (Paruresis) there are virtually no cubicles in the ground, well certainly not in the North Stand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Time to call on the General, he'll sort this out Get in touch with Nicky Keye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raver50032 Posted November 13, 2012 Author Share Posted November 13, 2012 I can't remember if there was or was not soap in the dispenser in Trinity Lower at the weekend. There were plenty of towels, I know that much. But to maintain the status quo, I will mention that having a shit in the Trinity Lower is a horrendous business. There is only 1 cublicle in the mens per toilet, so if you are in there, it is like the whole world has its eyes on you, and are listening for the plops to begin. Worse, the light above the cublcle in the toilet near where I sit never ever works. In fact, there might not even be one there. It's almost as if they don't expect anyone to need a poo at the ground - well let me tell you, it happens. Oh yes sir, it does. So if I did go in there, in the dark, passing solids, then left, with everyone looking at my shitty hands, and didnt have any soap in the dispenser, i too would be MOST DISPLEASED. Mr. Raver50032 can you please sign your letter on behalf of everyone at VT, and pass a copy of this thread on to Villa aswell? I fear we have only touched the top of the tea bag here. ROFL - sorry, but that was sooooo funny. Certainly, I will mention a number of the other faults mentioned in this thread to the Club now that they have provided me with an appropriate contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raver50032 Posted November 13, 2012 Author Share Posted November 13, 2012 The ground is awful for people who suffer from bashful bladder syndrome (Paruresis) there are virtually no cubicles in the ground, well certainly not in the North Stand. Sometimes I have 'problems' getting started in a crowd - I thought it was just me. I don't like standing there in a row with it hanging out and waiting to start. I feel so awkward - do you look up at the ceiling? Do you look straight ahead at the 'Wow It's Huge' advert, or down into the urinal? And if you don't start within a few seconds, do you worry that people around you think you might be just enjoying having it out in public? And what do you do when you notice the guy next to you out of the corner of your eye... and you just know that the guy is blatently looking at your piece? Attending football is a stressful event. I sense a Dear Diedre letter coming on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lexicon Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Top tip #1 - Don't piss/shit all over your hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Sometimes I have 'problems' getting started in a crowd - I thought it was just me. I don't like standing there in a row with it hanging out and waiting to start. I feel so awkward - do you look up at the ceiling? Do you look straight ahead at the 'Wow It's Huge' advert, or down into the urinal? And if you don't start within a few seconds, do you worry that people around you think you might be just enjoying having it out in public? And what do you do when you notice the guy next to you out of the corner of your eye... and you just know that the guy is blatently looking at your piece? Attending football is a stressful event. I sense a Dear Diedre letter coming on... Nonsense, urinals are a great opportunity to converse with new people. I like to find the most isolated urinator and greet them with a cheery "Hello there!" before choosing the adjacent dog-end. After all, everyone loves company. I also like to give some words of encouragement and motivation to my co-miturator, perhaps comment on their form/technique. If you finish before your comrade, start a slow-clap to help them along. Then when they're finished, nothing says "well done" like a big pat on the back. Don't wash your hands first though, you don't want to get your new best friend's shirt all wet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keefa3011 Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Nonsense, urinals are a great opportunity to converse with new people. I like to find the most isolated urinator and greet them with a cheery "Hello there!" before choosing the adjacent dog-end. After all, everyone loves company. I also like to give some words of encouragement and motivation to my co-miturator, perhaps comment on their form/technique. If you finish before your comrade, start a slow-clap to help them along. Then when they're finished, nothing says "well done" like a big pat on the back. Don't wash your hands first though, you don't want to get your new best friend's shirt all wet. Ah, so that's who you are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hogso Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 At the National Football Museum in Manchester they have little football goals, with a penalty area and net and everything, sitting in the urinal for you to take aim at. Maybe we should get them in at VP to improve the matchday experience. Oh, and I asked my brother, he confirmed that there was NO soap in the Lower Trinity. For shame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I'm just glad we're no longer hamstrung by O'Neill's policy of paying over the odds for domestic Armitage Shanks toilets, and that Lambert will hopefully look to the European market to bring in some of those fancy bidets at a fraction of the price. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Nonsense, urinals are a great opportunity to converse with new people. I like to find the most isolated urinator and greet them with a cheery "Hello there!" before choosing the adjacent dog-end. After all, everyone loves company. I also like to give some words of encouragement and motivation to my co-miturator, perhaps comment on their form/technique.And don't forget: crossing streams is great fun too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raver50032 Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 All, to draw a line under this thread (lock it now) - I have received the following reply from 'Tom' at Villa Park... -- Your email of 12th November has been forwarded to me, and I would also like to reiterate the Club’s apologies as mentioned in our 13th November reply to you. I tried to reach you on your mobile this morning but was unable to leave a voice message. With specific regard to your complaint, there does appear to have been a lapse in our pre-match restroom checks/quality control procedures over the past two matches – and we have since brought this to the attention of our cleaning contractor. Please be assured the Club has always prided itself on maintaining a very clean venue (despite its years!) – and this will remain as a top priority moving forward. Again, thank you for bringing this to our attention. If you have any further thoughts or concerns and would like to speak over the phone, please don’t hesitate to let me know. Very best regards, Tom -- Yay... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CI Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Tom Hanks ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 All, to draw a line under this thread (lock it now) - I have received the following reply from 'Tom' at Villa Park... -- Your email of 12th November has been forwarded to me, and I would also like to reiterate the Club’s apologies as mentioned in our 13th November reply to you. I tried to reach you on your mobile this morning but was unable to leave a voice message. With specific regard to your complaint, there does appear to have been a lapse in our pre-match restroom checks/quality control procedures over the past two matches – and we have since brought this to the attention of our cleaning contractor. Please be assured the Club has always prided itself on maintaining a very clean venue (despite its years!) – and this will remain as a top priority moving forward. Again, thank you for bringing this to our attention. If you have any further thoughts or concerns and would like to speak over the phone, please don’t hesitate to let me know. Very best regards, Tom -- Yay... Fair play then, hopefully they follow through (no pun intended) with their promise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ciggiesnbeer Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Good. I need clean bathrooms because frankly the way we are playing I am sh$tting myself pretty much the whole game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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