Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"

[darrenm]

10 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

 

[Stevo985]

9 hours ago, darrenm said:

I was really worried I'd given him too many and caused hypoglycemia but no he was there. Just with type 2 instead.

My mate and I used to go to this summer play group thing near Fox Hollies. They had a farm there.

One day we fed one of the goats a chewit.

Next day the goat was going bald, until eventually it was completely hairless.

I'm guessing the chewit didn't cause that, but we were utterly convinced we'd done it!

[choffer]

Working from home on a Friday. Windows open, fresh coffee on the go and a vet masturbating a rhino on the telly! 

[NurembergVillan]

This video cheered me up -

 

[StefanAVFC]

 

[StefanAVFC]

At the end of last year, I was worried that I wouldn't have enough leave to go home for Christmas, then I got seconded and didn't have to use any leave (as I was already in the UK)

Then, it turns out last year my annual leave was increased by 7 days, so 9 days got carried over into this year.

It's almost the end of May and I've used one of my annual leave days for the year.

[Designer1]

4 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said:

At the end of last year, I was worried that I wouldn't have enough leave to go home for Christmas, then I got seconded and didn't have to use any leave (as I was already in the UK)

Then, it turns out last year my annual leave was increased by 7 days, so 9 days got carried over into this year.

It's almost the end of May and I've used one of my annual leave days for the year.

What's annual leave?

[BOF]

5 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said:

At the end of last year, I was worried that I wouldn't have enough leave to go home for Christmas, then I got seconded and didn't have to use any leave (as I was already in the UK)

Then, it turns out last year my annual leave was increased by 7 days, so 9 days got carried over into this year.

It's almost the end of May and I've used one of my annual leave days for the year.

So give us the final figure !

For context, I started with 27 and I've used 7.5.

[StefanAVFC]

Well.

In Poland, the law is, you get 20 days basic. Then 27 if you've been in the workplace for 6 years. 

Your uni counts for those 6 years, so last year was my uni (4 years) + 2 years of employment so I automatically got bumped up to 27 days.

I had 36 days at the start of the year and I've used 10 already. So I'm at 26 now.

If anyone wants to come to Poland, I have plenty of time off to show you around  

[BOF]

It's good to know you can just Krakow to somewhere whenever you want.

[StefanAVFC]

Just now, BOF said:

It's good to know you can just Krakow to somewhere whenever you want.

That would work if it wasn't pronounced Krakuv

[Designer1]

1 minute ago, StefanAVFC said:

27 days.

Blimey! That's pretty good isn't it? When I used to work for other folks I seem to remember around 22 was the norm.

[StefanAVFC]

Just now, Designer1 said:

Blimey! That's pretty good isn't it? When I used to work for other folks I seem to remember around 22 was the norm.

Yeah it isn't bad. It's handy because I rarely take leave, so it allows me to build it up and take longer breaks.

[Designer1]

1 minute ago, StefanAVFC said:

Yeah it isn't bad. It's handy because I rarely take leave, so it allows me to build it up and take longer breaks.

Yeah, to be honest one of the few drawbacks to working for yourself is the loss of paid leave. It's kind of a double whammy for me when I want to take the wife and kids away as I have to 1) pay for the holiday (obviously) but 2) lose a week or so of income.

It's not as bad the last few years as I have special side fund put away for it, but it still stings the pocket a bit.

[BOF]

7 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said:

That would work if it wasn't pronounced Krakuv

Comedic licence, you so and so ...  

[Stevo985]

43 minutes ago, Designer1 said:

Blimey! That's pretty good isn't it? When I used to work for other folks I seem to remember around 22 was the norm.

I get 25. I think that's fairly common now

[NurembergVillan]

1 hour ago, StefanAVFC said:

That would work if it wasn't pronounced Krakuv

At least you don't need to be up at the Krakow dawn on those days though.

[mjmooney]

3 hours ago, Designer1 said:

Blimey! That's pretty good isn't it? When I used to work for other folks I seem to remember around 22 was the norm.

At the University, I started (in 1985) on 25, went up to 30 after five years, and (after a promotion) ended up on 35. Plus bank holidays and 'customary' days - (extra Tuesday at Easter, most of the period between Xmas and New Year, etc.)

Edited May 26, 2017 by mjmooney

[hogso]

This absurd news story. It has got everything.

Quote

Mum and daughter tricked into licking feet of Poundworld staff who rode them like horses

Hapless customers were tricked into licking the feet of staff at a Poundworld store who then rode them like horses in an elaborate prank by an anonymous caller.

Naomi Desmond, 24, and her mum Pamela, 55, who has one arm, were doing some last-minute holiday shopping when they fell victim to a bizarre con lasting two-and-a-half hours.

The pair now want to sue Poundworld after the discount giant offered them a £200 voucher and an apology in return for their ordeal.

A man claiming to be from a charity in Ireland phoned the store and told staff to close it for a ‘team training exercise’ that involved entering two customers into a competition.

Pamela and Naomi were the only shoppers inside at the time when the prankster phoned to tell staff to take two customers into the store room.

The two women were duped into believing they could win £3,000 if they endured a series of humiliating tasks at the discount shop in Barnstaple, Devon

The manager and another employee, who also fell victim to the hoax, were then told to take the women back on to the shop floor.

Following the caller’s instructions, the staff tied string around Naomi and Pamela’s ears, threw water over them and drew on their faces with pens.

The humiliation did not stop there as the prankster ordered the staff to ride Naomi and Pamela down the aisles in a human horse race.

At one point, Naomi and her disabled mother were told to lick the feet of the staff.

Throughout the ordeal the staff had to refer to the two women as ‘Ugly’ and ‘Beast’ and in return they had to call the manager ‘Beautiful lady’ with the promise of £50 each time they said it.

The cruel antics inside the store continued for nearly two hours until the caller finally said the ‘training exercise’ had ended.

But minutes later as Pamela and Naomi left the store, Naomi got a call on her mobile phone from the hoaxer, demanding them to return to win more money.

The two women returned and when they found the store closed they were made to crawl around outside on their hands and knees, which they did for half an hour.

Eventually, staff inside the store stopped the women and called the head office, at which point they realised they had all been duped.

Pamela, a hospital telephonist, said: ‘At first it was funny – like a game show. It all happened on the shop floor.

‘They were asked to get on to our backs and they rode us up and down the aisle like a horse race.

‘But afterwards we felt embarrassed. We genuinely thought it was head office.

‘I’m disabled so that makes it even worse – and the caller knew.’

Naomi added: ‘We are both too scared to go into Poundworld now.’

Metro

[BOF]

Saw that the other day.  Genius prankster.  Getting them back into Poundworld after they'd left too   Love it.