News story of the day

[mjmooney]

Porpoises rescue Dick Van Dyke

Mary Poppins star feared death after apparently falling asleep on his surfboard but friendly sea creatures pushed him to shore

That is the greatest thing I have ever read.

As it stands, exactly.

Reading the full article would, I am sure, just dilute the effect.

[BOF]

Only in ....

Pennsylvania mother eats poppy seed bagel, newborn baby seized

Pennsylvania mother eats poppy seed bagel, newborn baby seized

The ACLU of Pennsylvania recently filed a civil rights lawsuit on behalf of a couple whose newborn baby was kidnapped by Lawrence County Children and Youth Services (LCCYS) because her mother recklessly consumed an "everything" bagel from Dunkin' Donuts the day before the birth.

Jameson Hospital, where Isabella Rodriguez was born on April 27, has a policy of testing expectant mothers' urine for illegal drugs and reporting positive results to LCCYS, even without any additional evidence that the baby is in danger of neglect or abuse. LCCYS, in turn, has a policy of seizing such babies from their homes based on nothing more than the test result.

Unfortunately for Isabella's parents, Elizabeth Mort and Alex Rodriguez, Jameson sets the cutoff level for its opiate test so low that it can be triggered by poppy seeds, which is why two caseworkers and two Neshannock Township police officers visited their home the day after baby and mother returned from the hospital. LCCYS seized the three-day-old girl and put her in foster care for five days before conceding it had made a mistake.

[GarethRDR]

Wait a sec, does that mean that if I eat enough poppy seeds, eventually they will act as an opiate? **** me, I need to get to a bakery!

[mjmooney]

Serious one:

A woman who was impaled on a branch when a falling tree hit her car has died, as the UK faces more disruption after 24 hours of severe weather.

She was taken to hospital after the incident in Wakefield, West Yorkshire, but died a short time later.

Gale-force winds and torrential rain have caused damage, with power lines brought down and bridges closed.

Northern England, north Wales and Northern Ireland were worst hit, and travel problems are ongoing.

West Yorkshire Police said the woman, from Pontefract, was a passenger in the Vauxhall Zafira which was hit by the falling tree on Thursday night. The driver was hurt in the incident, but his injuries are not thought to be life-threatening.

Some 6,000 people in Northern Ireland were left without power on Thursday night. Northern Ireland Electricity (NIE) said on Friday morning that 600 homes were still cut off.

The main areas of Northern Ireland affected were Dungannon and Omagh in County Tyrone, and Enniskillen in County Fermanagh.

At Leeds-Bradford airport, one flight from Dublin was forced to divert to Liverpool after making three unsuccessful attempts to land. Other planes were forced to fly on to Manchester.

Great Dun Fell in the north Pennines recorded gusts of 100mph (161km/hr) on Thursday night, while Capel Curig in Snowdonia experienced 91mph (146km/hr) winds.

The BBC Weather Centre said the weather was at its worst overnight but winds were forecast to slowly ease off through the day.

Coastal areas were particularly exposed and in Lancashire, roads surrounding Blackpool Tower, including part of the Promenade, were closed due to gale-force winds.

Police made the decision to cordon off the area after scaffolding fell to the ground from the Tower, which is undergoing refurbishment. No-one was injured.

Coastal areas were particularly exposed - this was Salcoats in Scotland on Thursday Coastguards at Holyhead said wind speeds reached 78mph (126km/hr) but have since died down. All ferry sailings across the Irish Sea are cancelled.

The Britannia Bridge across the Menai Strait and Cleddau Bridge in Pembrokeshire were closed overnight but have since reopened with speed restrictions.

There has been localised flooding in Scotland, and some ferries to Northern Ireland from the ports of Stranraer and Cairnryan were suspended for a while and now face delays.

The Dartford-Thurrock Thames river crossing, the QEII bridge, was closed on Thursday afternoon for safety reasons and police in Northamptonshire had to cordon off a bungalow after part of a tree smashed into it.

Fire crews on the Isle of Wight had to deal with flood-related incidents at about 100 homes, mostly in Ryde, following heavy rain.

Flight and ferry crossings to the Isle of Man were also affected.

[BOF]

Wait a sec, does that mean that if I eat enough poppy seeds, eventually they will act as an opiate? **** me, I need to get to a bakery!

Probably in the same way that drinking alcohol-free beer will eventually get you drunk, provided you don't get water on the brain first

[LondonLax]

Nutmeg is also a hallucinogen (and a poison) in large enough quantities.

[tonyh29]

Nutmeg is also a hallucinogen (and a poison) in large enough quantities.

isn't that what a Turantula has in it's poison .. it kills birds as they are allergic to it

[bickster]

Chinese international goalkeeper Wang Dalei (or ‘Big Thunder’) has been suspended indefinitely by the Chinese FA after laying into the country’s fans following a 3-0 whooping by Japan in an Asian Games group match on Monday.

The 21-year-old has been told to “meditate on his action”, having used his huge goalkeeper hands to furiously smash out a string of insults in an ill-advised internet post after the game, calling fans who criticised his performance ‘a bunch of dogs’ and ‘morons’:

It would be flattery to call you fans. You bunch of morons are the main reason why Chinese football can’t make progress. You throw in stones after a man has fallen into a well.

I heard there’s more than 7,000 football journalists in China, and I estimate at least 4,000 of them hate football. Is that really necessary? When opponents score, I’m a moron. When I make a save, I’m still a moron … I’m not Spiderman.

I was beaten on the pitch and verbally abused off it. Don’t say you know how to play football, because you know nothing about it. Go home and count how many pieces of leather a football has. Hit a man when he’s down, that’s what you bastards are doing. That’s why Chinese soccer is in a mess.

I don’t give a shit what other people say, that’s who I am.

Well I never.

Dalei has since been suspended for ‘tarnishing the image of a national soccer team player’ and more hilariously, ‘hurting the feelings of Chinese soccer fans.’

Clicky

Makes DOL seem like a diplomat

[drat01]

#iamspartacus hashtag on Twitter - superb bit of work that, especially showing up the shit verdicts from the courts

[bickster]

#iamspartacus hashtag on Twitter - superb bit of work that, especially showing up the shit verdicts from the courts

Indeed, retweeted that one myself this morning

[tonyh29]

was wondering with that case in particular if they now don't prosecute all the other posters does that give the original offender the right to appeal on the grounds of "precedent " or something ( although it's kinda in reverse)

[Risso]

Serious one:

Flight and ferry crossings to the Isle of Man were also affected.

80mph gusts in places last night. No ferries, so no sandwiches in M&S today.

And that's serious.

[mjmooney]

It was a bugger running to work this morning, uphill and into that headwind!

[blandy]

Aye, cycling home straight into it last night was "interesting". Happily they put the barrier down, across the runway threshold for a plane to land, so I got a breather....then it started to rain as well...then they took ages to lift the barrier again....It took piggin' ages, to get home. The sails got blown off Lytham Windmill. Perhaps they should have built it somewhere less win......ah

[leviramsey]

Kentucky man forced to eat beard after lawnmower dispute turns ugly

A Kentucky man claims he was forced to eat his own beard following a fight over a lawnmower.

Harvey Westmoreland says he and his brother Joseph used to think highly of Troy Holt and James Hill.

That was before the May argument that ended with the bizarre beard-eating incident.

"My brother was cleaning out the stalls out there for Troy, you know, working for him. They called and wanted me to come around there and when I got there, I realized they were already drunk," Westmoreland said.

Of all things to fight about, he said, punches started flying over a lawnmower.

"Troy offered to buy it from me for $250. I paid $20 for it. He thought I was trying to cheat him," Westmoreland said. "One thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire."

He says his brother had a mark on his neck, where a knife was held, but Harvey Westmoreland's loss was more permanent.

"They cut my beard and forced me to eat it," he said.

Westmoreland said Holt and Hill let them go, but threatened to kill them if they called police.

That wasn't enough to keep the two brothers from calling 911.

"I believe in the law. I believe that justice has been served, and it will be after Tuesday," Westmoreland said.

Sentencing for James Hill and Troy Holt will be next Tuesday morning in Lawrenceburg Circuit Court.

Both Hill and Holt have pleaded guilty, and are expected to be fined and sentenced to supervision diversion.

[bickster]

Aye, cycling home straight into it last night was "interesting". Happily they put the barrier down, across the runway threshold for a plane to land, so I got a breather....then it started to rain as well...then they took ages to lift the barrier again....It took piggin' ages, to get home. The sails got blown off Lytham Windmill. Perhaps they should have built it somewhere less win......ah

Made I laugh

[The_Rev]

Serious one:

Flight and ferry crossings to the Isle of Man were also affected.

80mph gusts in places last night. No ferries, so no sandwiches in M&S today.

And that's serious.

Has anybody phoned up the local radio bemoaning the fact that we cant deal with "a little bit" of wind and rain yet?

[drat01]

Has anybody phoned up the local radio bemoaning the fact that we cant deal with "a little bit" of wind and rain yet?

TV AM would have had a news crew out reporting it. Sky meanwhile have blamed the rain and wind on Labour and said that the previous Gvmt should not have allowed foreign weather patterns to influence our trade, billions of pounds have been moved to Tax Haven off-shore as a result. BBC are on strike.

In the written media the Express are running a front page article about the leaves that have been blown on to Princess Diana's grave and asking why criminals can't be used as a human shield to stop this atrocity. The Daily Mail, are quoting an unnamed source who has identified Muslim particles in the rain. The Times no one knows as Murdoch makes you pay now, but the Sun has a page 3 girl with tits out saying "oooh its a bit nippy"

[AVFC_Hitz]

Ich liebe horny Germans...

German writer Charlotte Roche offered in an interview Sunday to spend the night with President Christian Wulff if he votes against government plans to extend the lifetime of Germany's nuclear reactors.

"I am offering to sleep with him if he does not sign," the 32-year-old anti-nuclear activist told the weekly Der Spiegel. "My husband agrees. Now it is up to the First Lady to give her consent. I am also tattooed," she said, referring to Bettina Wulff's much-talked about body adornment.

Roche, British-born author of the sexually explicit 2008 bestseller “Wetlands,” took part in major demonstrations last week against the transport of radioactive waste that underlined unease in Germany over nuclear power.

Wulff has to decide this year if a law prolonging the lifetime of the country's 17 nuclear reactors by up to 14 years should be enacted without the consent of the Bundesrat, the upper chamber of parliament that represents the regions.

The hotly disputed plans were approved by cabinet in September and will postpone by more than a decade to around 2035 the date when Europe's biggest economy abandons nuclear power.

AFP/ka

[choffer]

Fla. Dealer Offers Free AK-47 for Truck Buyers

(CBS/AP) Nations Trucks proudly advertises on its website, "We sell trucks, NOT GIMMICKS!" But the central Florida dealership has found a unique way to drive up business.

It is now offering a perk for potential used-truck buyers: A free AK-47 assault rifle.

General sales manager Nick Ginetta said that since the promotion was announced on Veterans Day, business has more than doubled.

Customers would have to pass a background check before using the $400 gun shop voucher, which they can also apply toward the purchase of other firearms.

Ginetta, whose showroom sports mounted deer heads, said he believes it's a perfect Veterans Day promotion.

"We started on Veterans Day, saying, 'Hey, so many have given so much for this right,'" Ginetta said.

In lieu of a firearm voucher, buyers could also request a check instead. But, as Ginetta told CBS Affiliate WKMG, "Our clientele is not gonna complain about a gun."

But why an AK-47 assault rifle? "Well, to be specific, an AK-47 was gonna be controversial," Ginetta said.

The dealership has fielded some complaints about the promotion, which runs through the end of November.

Phillip Adams, a veteran, told WKMG he thought the promotion is a bad idea. "An AK-47 is a very dangerous weapon," he said.

He said he'd prefer the dealer gave customers a free flag and a pole to put up in their yard. "That would be a lot more supportive for our country and our veterans," he said.