NurembergVillan Posted July 2, 2011 Moderator Share Posted July 2, 2011 Come on peeps - let's keep this a joke thread. We all know Julie's lovely so let's not take this into a place it doesn't need to go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drat01 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Just back from a friends funeral that died when he got hit on the head by a tennis ball Was a lovely service... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Come on peeps - let's keep this a joke thread. We all know Julie's lovely so let's not take this into a place it doesn't need to go... Yeah and she's after the ride with the bloke at the barbeque ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaztonVilla Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I was on a train to London last week. The train stopped at Durham and this gorgeous slim Thai girl got on. She sat right across from me and I was really struggling not to stare at her, she was stunning. So I was sitting there thinking to myself "Please, don't get a hard on.. Don't get a hard on.." It didn't work. Feck. She got a hard on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Picked up an absolute bargain from my local Asda yesterday! A shopping trolley for £1! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Picked up an absolute bargain from my local Asda yesterday! A shopping trolley for £1! The problem with that joke is that ASDA are one of the few supermarkets that do not require a £1 to get a trolley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 It's a bloody joke!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCU Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 What's the different between a book and David Haye? The book has a title. From Twitter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Its a joke that doesn't work, bit like a joke about a clever Irishman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 And inanimate objects don't talk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Picked up an absolute bargain from my local Asda yesterday! A shopping trolley for £1! The problem with that joke is that ASDA are one of the few supermarkets that do not require a £1 to get a trolley. Not true, the one on kings heath high street charges. Probably to stop the tramps and mongols from robbing them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danwichmann Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Are there a lot of Mongols in Kings Heath then? :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 A fair few, i khan stand 'em personally though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 You'll have to take it on the Chin then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted July 4, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted July 4, 2011 I bought a greyhound the other day my mate asked ''what are you going to do with that'' I said ''i'm going to race it'' he replied ''by the looks of it you'll win'' I must have missed this little gem. You been watching re-runs of Tommy Cooper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 yep a few weeks ago he was on gold, I had to sky+ that for the future easily the funniest man of all time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villadude Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 I got talking to this old guy in the park today and ended up buying a genuine Rolex off him for a tenner. Once I flog it on, I'm going to make a small donation to a local Alzheimer's charity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villadude Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 As I was sat there quietly eating a packet of crisps, when my wife came in shouting ''What the **** Is wrong with you?'' Shocked, I asked ''What?'' She replied ''Open the **** bag!'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morkery Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Whats Stephen Hawkings favourite kind of cream? sQWERTY. Nicked off sickipedia, but made me chuckle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Werner Heisenberg is driving down the autobahn, when he gets pulled over by the Verkehrspolizei. "Do you know how fast you were going?" asks the cop. "No" said Heisenberg, "but I know where I am." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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