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WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.


villadude

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I was hoping there'd be some good jokes about that gunman but having had a look around none of them are Raoul Moatly funny.

The best one yet :D

And just when I thought every pun for his name had been used - quality

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As a nation we are shocked, confused and struggling to come to terms with Raoul Moat shooting his ex-girlfriend, her lover and a police officer.

We are all asking the same question.

How the **** did a ginger get a girlfriend.

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Apparently Raoul Moat only intends to kill members of the police.

Fair play to him, I hope he takes out Sting first

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I just put my union jack flag up in my garden as i do every summer but i was unsure if it would offend any muslims.

So to be certain i wrote 'Allah is a Queer' on it.

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Apparently Raoul Moat only intends to kill members of the police.

Fair play to him, I hope he takes out Sting first

O Sting, where is thy death?
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I met a genie today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."

"Fine," I said, "I want to die when SHA win a trophy."

"You crafty c***!" said the genie.

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A bit late but never mind....

Hi Im a sexy 19 year old blond from the North East of England looking for some fun. My mr right should should be a strong ginger man with a fiery temper and a jealous nature, who also enjoys camping and writing long letters.

If this sounds like you contact me at -

armedresponse@northumberlandpolice.org

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Dear friends

Well I've had a great time over the last few weeks. I managed to get myself an all expenses paid holiday to the South African World Cup. So I took the opportunity to chill out, relax and just watch some guys play football...

Best of all though, at the end of it they even gave me a medal.

F. Torres.

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Dear Mr Moat,

It has come to my notice that John Terry has been shagging your missus while you were in prison.

Yours Sincerely

Wayne Bridge

Just a teensy bit late with that one I feel. I have a feeling that our central defender in a refuse receptacle is appropriate here.

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Dear friends

Well I've had a great time over the last few weeks. I managed to get myself an all expenses paid holiday to the South African World Cup. So I took the opportunity to chill out, relax and just watch some guys play football...

Best of all though, at the end of it they even gave me a medal.

F. Torres.

Dear Friends,

I've just had a few weeks of hell, I thought I was going on a lovely holiday but the hotel resembled a prison camp and they made me run around. Then they started booing me. They've got an absolute cheek. Don't know why I bother.

W. Rooney

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Dear Mr Moat,

It has come to my notice that John Terry has been shagging your missus while you were in prison.

Yours Sincerely

Wayne Bridge

Just a teensy bit late with that one I feel. I have a feeling that our central defender in a refuse receptacle is appropriate here.

Late I give you, but I couldn't wait for the next round of shootings....this is not America you know :)

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