Popular Post choffer Posted January 29, 2019 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted January 29, 2019 MRI scan yesterday. Upon arrival I am presented with a large jug of water and the instruction to drink it all in the next twenty minutes. Three litres worth. Skulled it within a couple of minutes and off I go. They asked if I'd had an MRI before and I relayed to them the terrifying ordeal I'd had to endure the last time I'd had an MRI where just before it started, they plonked a pair of headphones on me and made me listen to Spandau Ballet for the duration. I told them in no uncertain terms that I would not subject myself to that sort of torture again so they put 6Music on, much to my delight. 40 minutes in the big, claustrophobic, noisy tunnel machine and I'm all done. Just as I was putting my coat on, the friendly nurse casually drops into conversation that the jug of water had a special chemical in it and that I shouldn't be concerned if it had a slightly laxative effect. I decided at that point not to take any chances and booked an uber to take me home rather than the planned 90 minute tube and bus combo. Five minutes in and we hit traffic. There followed the most excruciatingly painful and uncomfortable 45 minutes in a taxi that I've ever experienced. How I did not evacuate myself in Mohammad's Prius I'll never know but the relief of getting the key in the door when I got home was immense. 5 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted January 29, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted January 29, 2019 1 minute ago, choffer said: MRI scan yesterday. Upon arrival I am presented with a large jug of water and the instruction to drink it all in the next twenty minutes. Three litres worth. Skulled it within a couple of minutes and off I go. They asked if I'd had an MRI before and I relayed to them the terrifying ordeal I'd had to endure the last time I'd had an MRI where just before it started, they plonked a pair of headphones on me and made me listen to Spandau Ballet for the duration. I told them in no uncertain terms that I would not subject myself to that sort of torture again so they put 6Music on, much to my delight. 40 minutes in the big, claustrophobic, noisy tunnel machine and I'm all done. Just as I was putting my coat on, the friendly nurse casually drops into conversation that the jug of water had a special chemical in it and that I shouldn't be concerned if it had a slightly laxative effect. I decided at that point not to take any chances and booked an uber to take me home rather than the planned 90 minute tube and bus combo. Five minutes in and we hit traffic. There followed the most excruciatingly painful and uncomfortable 45 minutes in a taxi that I've ever experienced. How I did not evacuate myself in Mohammad's Prius I'll never know but the relief of getting the key in the door when I got home was immense. I had an MRI last year as well. They did the same thing. Get given a jug of something and told you need to drink it, but never told explicitly what it was. 20 minutes later shitting my insides out. This actually pissed me off. There's no reason they couldn't have told me what it was. Or got me to do it at home that morning. Bearing in mind I have enough trouble with having a dodgy stomach anyway, springing 'here have a laxative' on me was not appreciated. I can also sympathise with the journey home. That's my world basically every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 On 27/01/2019 at 19:44, Mandy Lifeboats said: I am posting this because of the embarrassing story rather than the health related aspect. A few years ago I was enjoying my early morning testicle scratch when I noticed a lump that wasn't there the night before. I know that lumps that develop quickly are rarely serious so I decided to book in with the Doctor the following day. Eight hours later the lump had grown dramatically and was hurting like hell. So I walked rather gingerly into A&E. The only Doctor available was female and she asked if I would rather wait for a male colleague. I was in so much pain that I declined any delay and she was soon examining the area. By now the lump was as large as a testicle. Three testicles in a bag designed for two is obviously problematic and she had to ask me to identify which lump was the odd one out. It turned out to be a blocked tube which had burst and become infected. Antibiotics and a bit of draining sorted me out. Fast forward two weeks and our new neighbour knocked on the door to introduce themselves. It was the A&E Doctor and we both recognised one another instantly. "How are your testicles?" was her rather unique neighbourhood introductory line. I've had a lump, not ON my ball, but in the ball bag for years. I've had it checked twice and both times they said it isn't cancerous or anything. Still worries me now but it hasn't grown in the years I've had it so probably just a cyst or whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 I twisted my testicle once, getting of the car.. I was in the passengers seat, and when I got out, I put my right leg, over my left leg, which was obstructed by a bag.. I moaned my knackers were uncomfortable on the night.. when I woke up in the morning.. **** me... the pain.. whatever movement I did, felt like getting a heavy kick in the spuds, so I just sat on a computer chair with my feet up on a table, slightly apart. Somehow climbed into a car, got to the hospital, got them checked out.. which as you can imagine, was AWESOME.. Then got rushed into surgery where an Australian saw bits of me I have never seen. Got a cool scar on the old breadbasket which I love showing to children and old people at a moments notice and due to the staple in my left turnip to my coal sack, when I cough it's the only conker which doesn't jump up, which again is a great children's party trick. I was only 9 or 10 or something.. Years later, my brother sat down on a computer chair and sat on his testicles, crushing them. He was told he had lanky nuts, which is how he could sit on them, but he still knocked out two kids. LOOK AFTER YOUR TESTICLES KIDS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted January 29, 2019 Moderator Share Posted January 29, 2019 ^ I got 4 words into that post 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 29, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted January 29, 2019 3 hours ago, StefanAVFC said: I've had a lump, not ON my ball, but in the ball bag for years. I've had it checked twice and both times they said it isn't cancerous or anything. Still worries me now but it hasn't grown in the years I've had it so probably just a cyst or whatever. I'm kinda the same, except mine is kind of on the top. I've never actually got it checked. But it's been there for about 20 years so I'm hoping I'm good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 11 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: I'm kinda the same, except mine is kind of on the top. I've never actually got it checked. But it's been there for about 20 years so I'm hoping I'm good. That's your brain that is. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 29, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted January 29, 2019 Just now, lapal_fan said: That's your brain that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 6 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: Can't see it. so you can't hurt my precious feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 6 hours ago, choffer said: There followed the most excruciatingly painful and uncomfortable 45 minutes in a taxi that I've ever experienced. How I did not evacuate myself in Mohammad's Prius I'll never know but the relief of getting the key in the door when I got home was immense. I was on the train the other day about 25 mins from home, train toilet out of order and gagging for a dump. I was in agony. I was doing colon gymnastics... I had already resigned myself to the fact I was going to shit in my suit trousers, I had actually moved on mentally to my exit strategy and how I was going to explain to people why I had soiled myself on a train. Somehow I managed to get to my stop and got off but was still faced with a 5 minute walk home. I scanned the train platform like the Terminator looking for a dark corner to defecate but it was too busy. I managed to hobble home and as you say, the relief of getting in and planting myself on the crapper was immense. Maybe the best feeling I have ever had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted January 29, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted January 29, 2019 3 hours ago, Xela said: Maybe the best feeling I have ever had. Truly one of the most underrated of all life experiences. The very definition of winning. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted January 30, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted January 30, 2019 This is in danger of turning into a type of scat porn, I'm afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted January 30, 2019 Moderator Share Posted January 30, 2019 10 hours ago, il_serpente said: This is in danger of turning into a type of scat porn, I'm afraid. Just let them get it out of their systems ... so to speak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mottaloo Posted January 30, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 30, 2019 (edited) I had a swelling in my right crown jewel 2 years ago and for once i didn't do what us blokes are famous for by sticking my head in the sand. I got it checked out and glad i did - it was a malignant tumour and i had developed testicular cancer. Had it removed, a false one popped in to even out the balance and I'm now well in to a 5 year observation programme of blood tests, yearly scan and x rays....oh and 1 dose of chemotherapy. I'm no ambassador for testicular cancer but FFS....get em checked and don't ignore it. As cancers go, it's in a remote part of the body so spreading isn't as likely as with other cancers so I'm not here to scare you all. We often care more about our cars MOT than our own body's so do yourselves a favour and seek advice with the experts. Edited January 30, 2019 by mottaloo 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 17 hours ago, il_serpente said: This is in danger of turning into a type of scat porn, I'm afraid. Fingers crossed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterms Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 Heard last night that my son's first girlfriend committed suicide. They broke up a few years ago but were on good terms, though not close. The last time they met was at the funeral of a friend who also killed themself. Listening to him and his brother describe, over several years, the state of depression some of their friends fall into is quite concerning. It's anecdotal, but I don't recall anything like the same level of serious mental health issues among my peers when I was their age. I suppose people communicate their mental states more these days just because it's easier to communicate anything, but I'm not sure that fully explains it. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted February 3, 2019 Moderator Share Posted February 3, 2019 10 minutes ago, peterms said: I'm not sure that fully explains it. It's sad. I don't think we'll ever understand it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 3, 2019 Author VT Supporter Share Posted February 3, 2019 19 minutes ago, peterms said: Heard last night that my son's first girlfriend committed suicide. They broke up a few years ago but were on good terms, though not close. The last time they met was at the funeral of a friend who also killed themself. Listening to him and his brother describe, over several years, the state of depression some of their friends fall into is quite concerning. It's anecdotal, but I don't recall anything like the same level of serious mental health issues among my peers when I was their age. I suppose people communicate their mental states more these days just because it's easier to communicate anything, but I'm not sure that fully explains it. Yes, I agree. I think it's true that there was a lot of hiding going on when I was younger, but even so, I'm shocked by the current apparent epidemic of mental illness, self-harm and suicide among young people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 5 hours ago, mjmooney said: Yes, I agree. I think it's true that there was a lot of hiding going on when I was younger, but even so, I'm shocked by the current apparent epidemic of mental illness, self-harm and suicide among young people. It's because we have nothing to fight for, and survival isn't day to day worry. We have huge capacity for thinking, and when our minds aren't occupied with staying alive, seemingly the more comfortable we are, ultimately the more fragile we become. On another note, nothing to do with peterms post.. Humans by nature are incredibly competitive, the competition we live by today is usually income or appearance and popularity. "Failure" nowadays isn't usually who lives the shortest time, it's something incredibly trivial in the grand scheme of things. I'd hate to be a kid nowadays, where you've always got to look good, have the latest gear whilst getting judged by a huge number of people, most of whom are probably strangers. I think in the next 20 years, suicide rates will sky rocket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xela Posted February 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted February 3, 2019 I think the rise of social media has had a massive impact on people's mental health. I think it is toxic. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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