In Sickness and in Health

[Paddywhack]

26 minutes ago, choffer said:

Wouldn't be the first time.

 

I feel I should also mention that the doc in question is also Her Majesty's go-to guy so the finger that was exploring my back passage this morning may well have been up the Queen's bum too at some point.

Maybe that one should be for the rubbish claims to fame thread?

Ask him if he remembers the sweet corn incident.

[Mandy Lifeboats]

Greet the doctor with a firm handshake, look him straight in the eye and say "I hope neither of us hurts one another today."

It focuses their mind. 

[rjw63]

6 hours ago, Chindie said:

I've had about 3 colonoscopies.

Hmmm Ok. I find that a very strange comment.

You've either had your arse invaded by a medical snake two times, or three times, or maybe four.

There's no "about" about it young man! Perhaps you loved it so much you just lost count?

[Chindie]

32 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

Hmmm Ok. I find that a very strange comment.

You've either had your arse invaded by a medical snake two times, or three times, or maybe four.

There's no "about" about it young man! Perhaps you loved it so much you just lost count?

I genuinely can't remember. It's at least 3, but might be 1 or 2 more. One of those things you try not to keep too fine a memory of, there's not many people keen to remember having half the plumbing section of Wickes pushed up your arse.

[chrisp65]

yeah, I've had one or two vasectomies, I didn't keep count

[Stevo985]

Here's one.

I have Sleep Apnea... Apnoea? I don't even know how to spell it.

I've had it for years, but when I previously went to the doctor they tested me and said it was too mild to treat, get on with it.

Basically it means in my sleep my airway closes up and I either hold my breath until it forces me to wake up and consciously start breathing again, or my body sort of kick starts itself to start me breathing again. Sort of waking up without me knowing I've woken up.

Either way it means my sleep is very disturbed. I never have a deep sleep. I'm always waking up. I got tested again recently and they said I average 8 incidents an hour. Which is still mild, but enough that they offered me treatment.

So now I have a big **** off mask that I have to wear in bed. I look like Bane, which i guess is kind of cool, until you attach a big hose to the front.
I haven't been able to get through a night with it though. It gives you a really strange sensation and I can barely drop off to sleep with it, and when I do I usually wake up again. Need to get used to it

[Pelle]

I have a mild but rather discusting thing. I have an abscess. It's an encapsulated boil (seems to be the right word, or even just abscess). It gets bigger and bigger and about once a year it cracks open. I tried to remove it by surgery about 7 or 8 years ago, but it came back anyway. And now it's about to open up again. The time just before it cracks it's rather painfull. It's on my right shoulder and it hurts even in my right armpit. It doesn't really affect my life, but it would be nice to get rid of it once and for all. I have to go and see a doctor a few months after it's healed again and maybe then they can help me. I just postpone it all the time. That's a bit who I am. Don't do tomorrow what you can do the day after that, kind of.

[mjmooney]

On 14/01/2019 at 16:57, veloman said:

That's damn good isn't it. Do you know what your max is by any chance ?

On a steady run, it goes up to 170-180 ish. Which my fitness band doesn't like, and keeps warning me it's too high. In fact I feel perfectly comfortable at that pace, so who knows? 

[veloman]

That is good isn't it ! On a steady ride, I think mine is about 120; average. In a time trial - perhaps 150, with a max of perhaps 165. When I was in my 50's I could get it up to c.175-180  in the last couple of miles . .but I think I'm older than you - which takes nothing away from your figures. I don't know if the "220 less your age" is useful - that would take me over the suggested max.

[mjmooney]

I'm currently in a slow return to fitness. Will be interesting to check it when I start doing efforts/hills and speedwork again. 

[Mark Albrighton]

Generally in decent health thankfully. Need to lose a little bit of weight, but no real problems.

As for notable trips to the doctors, the hernia test I had when I was 18 as part of a routine medical was memorable. I remember a joke about the procedure in Friends, but they didn’t elaborate what actually happened so finding out how it was conducted was an experience.

I can still remember the look of the doctor’s face when I grabbed his arm and pushed him off when he just going about his job.

[Xela]

On 04/01/2019 at 22:20, Chindie said:

Since I was a teenager, around the time my dad into hospital the first time, a few months before my nan died, and around the same time my dog died, I've had very bad stomach issues. I can go from being fine to having an intensely bad stomach on the flip of a switch. That can range from discomfort to actual pain, to all of that plus an urgent need to get to a loo. The pain is rarer but it's been so bad I've been woken up on my sleep with a feeling like a knife is being dragged through my guts, to being on the loo nearly in tears with searing pain going through my intestines. It's dominated my life since it started. And in the last 18 months it's gotten so bad I've struggled to do anything. Literally. At it's worst I've not been able to go walking distances from the house because out of nowhere I can be unwell, and that in turn causes a viscious cycle where the anxiety about the problem makes it worse. Travelling is horrible. When I had to go to hospital for the clots in an ambulance, I was less worried about the fact I felt like I'd had a heart attack and more worried about my stomach playing up. Driving to work I was basically getting myself there through checkpoints more or less - get to here, then get to there, and as it got worse I often would get to a 'point of no return' on the journey and turn around and go home because my stomach was playing me up.

I've had every test going over the years, everything comes back negative. The best I've got is severe IBS, and/or severe anxiety disorder.

I used to pride myself on the fact very few people would ever know there was anything wrong with me. I used to go on client visits, I've travelled around London on my own for work more than once. Then in the last 18 months it's just got worse and worse, with no end in sight.

Sorry to hear about this mate. I assume tests for crohn's and colitis have come back negative? I know exactly how you feel about the urgency to go etc and it dominating your life. My colitis does that to me and although I'm better than I was it does dictate what I can do. Travelling long distances on public transport is always a worry and taking 4 long haul flights last year meant I got to test out a number of airport and plane toilets (the Qatar 787 Dreamliner bogs at the back of the plane are very spacious!). Ferries in Macau, lap dancing cubs in Bangkok, dive rock bars in Hong Kong... used the toilets in all of them! Like you say its a vicious circle as the anxiety no doubt makes it worse. 

[rjw63]

Surprised this hasn't binnedunne yet

 

[Chindie]

1 hour ago, Xela said:

Sorry to hear about this mate. I assume tests for crohn's and colitis have come back negative? I know exactly how you feel about the urgency to go etc and it dominating your life. My colitis does that to me and although I'm better than I was it does dictate what I can do. Travelling long distances on public transport is always a worry and taking 4 long haul flights last year meant I got to test out a number of airport and plane toilets (the Qatar 787 Dreamliner bogs at the back of the plane are very spacious!). Ferries in Macau, lap dancing cubs in Bangkok, dive rock bars in Hong Kong... used the toilets in all of them! Like you say its a vicious circle as the anxiety no doubt makes it worse. 

Crohn's has come back negative, I don't know if I've specifically been tested for colitis but I think they may have ruled that out after the last colonoscopy. Apparently there is a chance I could have some form of inflammatory bowel disease as there are connections between having that and being prone to blood clots. This week I gave an insane amount of blood for tests relating to the clots so that might be tested in those I guess.

Public transport is a nightmare. I usually wasn't too bad with trains, planes have been ok, buses were the worst. But now anything is a nightmare.

I start up mental health treatment again this week. I was being seen before the summer and right before that was about to really start it was stopped as I got referred to another service because the GP thought I was going to top myself. Hopefully that'll help.

[NurembergVillan]

On 14/01/2019 at 18:00, Xela said:

Had one done privately (Little Aston). 

I went for the sedation and I can barely remember it! As @Chindie says the worst bit is shitting out your internal organs the day before after taking the prep liquid. I had a specific set of instructions on when to cut out certain foods 3 days before and so on. I guess going private they are more thorough in terms of prep. Not sure you get the same on the NHS?

As long as you aren't embarrassed at having a few people greasing your bum hole up and stuffing things up there then you'll be fine! 

I had the camera down my throat and I would way rather have had it up my arse.

It's a bigger tube than I was expecting and once it's got past the gag reflex etc it blows air to inflate the stomach.  I had a sore throat and the feeling of bloating for quite a while after.  The gagging part is absolutely terrifying too.

It was what I'd expect it to be like deep-throating Dion Dublin.

[mjmooney]

19 minutes ago, NurembergVillan said:

I had the camera down my throat and I would way rather have had it up my arse.

It's a bigger tube than I was expecting and once it's got past the gag reflex etc it blows air to inflate the stomach.  I had a sore throat and the feeling of bloating for quite a while after.  The gagging part is absolutely terrifying too.

It was what I'd expect it to be like deep-throating Dion Dublin.

I've had an endoscopy via the throat (sedated), and it was nowhere near as bad as I feared. 

[NurembergVillan]

1 minute ago, mjmooney said:

I've had an endoscopy via the throat (sedated), and it was nowhere near as bad as I feared. 

I think it was the sedated bit that I missed.  I was fully alert.

In hindsight, I'd have bought myself some rohypnol.

[mjmooney]

14 minutes ago, NurembergVillan said:

I think it was the sedated bit that I missed.  I was fully alert.

In hindsight, I'd have bought myself some rohypnol.

Were you not given that option? Must admit, it would probably be quite unpleasant without. 

[NurembergVillan]

8 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

Were you not given that option? Must admit, it would probably be quite unpleasant without. 

I can't remember if I was offered it or not.  I feel like it's something I'd have accepted if offered it, even without the benefit of hindsight.

[mjmooney]

I should add that I wasn't 'offered' sedation, they just did it as a matter of course. If I had to have it done again under the same conditions it wouldn't bother me at all. Without sedation, it definitely would.