mjmooney Posted April 2, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted April 2, 2015 Don't talk to Plastic Man like that, he's a pal o'mine... oh. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AValon Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I want a horse Why saddle yourself with domething that big? They chafe you know. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted April 2, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted April 2, 2015 She may have been speaking metaphorically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baselayers Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 (edited) Neigh Edited April 3, 2015 by Baselayers 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dom_Wren Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted April 4, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted April 4, 2015 They trip you up, your dog and cat They may not mean to, but they do 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Especially when you're near the fridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted April 5, 2015 Moderator Share Posted April 5, 2015 They trip you up, your dog and cat They may not mean to, but they do DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting. DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed (again). DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night. DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan... DAY 768- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo". What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws. DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. http://www.pawsperouspets.com/humor/catdiary.shtml 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 I have a new dog, he is called Hank. We got him from a rescue centre about 2 weeks ago. He is epileptic and the drugs turn him into a bit of a clearing in the woods. He is adorable. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 stop giving him drugs you bastard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 My next pet will be called Zenedine. Zenedine ze dog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 He has a problem, its the meth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted April 5, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted April 5, 2015 Barking Bad. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abdomlahor Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 My next pet will be called Zenedine. Zenedine ze dog Like Zidane, only calmer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingman Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 I want a shark or sword fish but the missus won't let me keep it in the bath, Biatch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 got a dog and cat but added an hamster to the family the other week against my wishes. but the house would not be the same without him now, such a character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I had a hamster called Stoichkov when I was about 8 years old Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 after the player? if so he was my favourite player when i was a kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I want a shark or sword fish but the missus won't let me keep it in the bath, Biatch! on the subject of sharks we had a family day out last week and went the sea life centre in brum and my missus thought they would have great white sharks there. i explained how big they were and she still did not grasp why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parisvilla Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Found out our cat likes to play fetch Wtf!Most cats will do that, especially when they are young - a small ball made from screwed-up silver paper is ideal. We had one cat who actually invented a game where she would flick said ball through the gap under a door, and you had to flick it back. We called it door tennis, and got some really good rallies going, trying to outwit each other by varying speed and angles. Her other favourite game was goalkeepers, where she stood in front of the door and you threw the ball, which she had to catch or bat away. It was bloody hard to score past her. Sick. Sounds more fun than hanging out with humans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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